A
female
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30-35,
*x-kate-xx
writes:does it really hurt the first time you have sex? im realy nervous and know im reddy tho. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2009): The first time i had sex it didn't hurt, that sounds stupid but i was really relaxed with my boyfriend and we thought it would be easier if i would go on top because im a small girl and tight and everything was ok. Then the second time it hurt a bit more and i've now spilt :/
But in my opinion it depends on the type of girl you are, and your pain thrush hold. I would say just relax and be comftable with what your doing. yes it might hurt but expect for the worst. :D
A
female
reader, Mash-Cakes  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 I lost mine about two weeks ago. And surprisingly enough iot wasn't as embarressing as a lot of people's, or un comfortable. But oh did it hurt.
The pain is hard to describe. It isn't the stretching that hurt me. I just felt a sharp stabbing pain every time i.. lowered myself..
That make sense? Maybe that was my hymen breaking and it just wouldn't break. The pain went away after a few times and I got into the rythem. xD
That isn't exactly going to reassure you though is it.
Well like everyone else said you can't avoid it. It has to happen one day so only do it when you're ready. :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2008): Ok, so the first time is NOT totally comfortable.... I bled a little around the opening. Also, don't be dissapointed if it's not mind-blowing at first!!! You two will have more chances to develop technique as time goes on, and after a few times, it won't hurt anymore. Sex gets better with more experience!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2008): I am still a virgin, although my boyfriend is definatly not. I'm about to get into the same situation. We've decided, though, that when the time is right, we'll tell each other, and then he will decide when we will do it. Remember, though, that we've been creating our own little sex world with foreplay for months, so I am used to his touch and being aroused and cumming (first orgasm yesterday!), so if that is occuring, then he slips in gently, it won't be as bad as the uncomfortable and akward anticipation... thus, my body will be more open. See?
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male
reader, daletom +, writes (22 December 2007):
You can do some internet research and find statistics about this in some reliable studies. As best I recall, most women (and a significant number of guys - including me) experience some physical discomfort during first intercourse. The consensus seems to be that some of this is from rupturing her hymen, but a lot is from her vaginal muscles being stretched to receive her partner's erection. For many women (like my wife) the pain is a one-time thing but some will still have discomfort after weeks of regular intercourse. If you don't want to just accept the fact that it's going to hurt, several sources give some variation of the following advice: - Do a little advance planning and allow plenty of time. At least half a day - a whole day or overnight is better. Use the time to be absolutely sure that you're relaxed and comfortable with your partner. If you've been working up to this step with progressively more intimate fondling, nakedness, oral sex, etc it will be easier than if these foreplay activities are new to you. In fact, some sources say you should postpone intercourse until you're comfortable with this level of foreplay. - Make sure you have comfortable surroundings. Privacy, a bed, and toilet facilities are almost essential. If you don't have your own living quarters and can't afford a hotel room, see if a friend or older brother/sister can loan you an apartment for a weekend. (Folks who have faced the same dilema ca be surprisingly helpful on this point.) - When the lovemaking is in full swing both you and your partner should have an orgasm just before you try insertion. If you've never done this, see what I wrote in the first suggestion, above, about becoming acquainted with each others' bodies before attempting intercourse. Make sure he knows beforehand that this is going to happen, so he doesn't resist it. For him, the climax will take the edge off, make him less rushed, and make him more aware of your needs. For you, it will make you as relaxed, open, lubricated, and ready to receive him as you'll ever be. - You get on top. Yes, this may be embarrassing and seem "unnatural" to you. The important point is that YOU will be able to control the positioning, angle, and speed of the insertion. There is NO WAY he can really tell what your body is feeling, but you can feel exactly the most comfortable way to receive him. Think, "I'm going to envelope his man parts with my woman parts.", NOT "He's going to stick that thing into me.".They say (I'm a guy, so I can't know) that you may feel him against your hymen and be reluctant to force him through. Let him know that if this happens, he has permission to do what must be done. A quick upward thrust - you will flinch, whimper, or even cry out - and it will be done. - With you on top you'll be better able to direct the stimulation where you need it, and he'll probably last longer, so you may be among the 5% or so of women who actually have an orgasm during their first intercourse. If he climaxes too quickly - this is normal. At that point you may want to slide into afterglow, or you may want to encourage him to continue whatever stimulation you need (manual, oral, etc) to reach some kind of resolution. Do NOT assume that he KNOWS what you want! - For BOTH guys and girls, the moments after your first sex can be very important. You will probably be more emotionally naked than any previous time in your life. You can hurt each other without meaning to, or knowing that you've done it, if you're not careful. You may feel elated, or disappointed. You may want to snuggle and cuddle, or not want to touch your partner. You may want to talk, or keep silent. You and/or your partner may be laughing giddy, or sobbing tears. The most important thing is to be aware, open, and communicative to each other.You can read about my own first time in the thread "I'm a virgin and worried about my wedding night..." here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-a-virgin-and-worried-about-my-wedding.html
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A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (23 November 2007):
The bottom line is that it'll surely hurt and if your man has a more than average sized penis you will need to be really strong.It'll even be worse if he's not gentle.Therefore,i strongly advise you to ask yourself if you love the guy and if he truly loves you.Only a guy who loves you will make that moment easier,less painful and memorable for you.For some guys seeing you in pain may be a turn on for them and may not pay attention to how you feel.Unless you are just trying to lose your virginity i suggest you first work on strengthening the bond between you and your man.
All the best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): I would like to say that it's going to be amazing and wonderful and pleasurable for you - but that would be lie. It's probably going to hurt, you might even bleed but at the end of the day, it's something we all have to go through at some point so don't be too hung up about it. If you're truly ready then it won't matter.
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A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (22 November 2007):
 Hey babe, for some people, it does hurt, however with weeks before if you have oral and touching, then this will widen you, ready for intercourse, if you get what im trying to say, sorry if its not that clear =/ when the time comes, be calm, relaxed, and stare into your partners eyes and say i love you, that always sets the moment (unless you dont love them, then just smile =]) I hope i helped you :) Feel free to mail me about anything :) x
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female
reader, Gemini1506 +, writes (22 November 2007):
Depends
if you claim to be ready and your in the situation and your completly relaxed and aroused it wont hurt. But when your all tense theres more chance it will hurt.
Whoever you give it up to tell him how you want it to make it as comfortable as you need it
Best of Luck
and keep safe
xxxxxxx
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