A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When my boyfriend fingers me it's so painful I always have to make him stop! I'm a virgin, and I don't use tampons, so I always thought it would hurt alot the first few times, but we've tried it at least 10 times now, and it isn't getting any easier. I normally have a very high pain threshold, I bruise and cut myself all the time and don't realise, and this is probably the most pain I've ever been in - so it hurts ALOT.That's only with one finger. It's sort of uncomfortable to start with, and then whenever he tries to move deeper it just hurts so bad I flinch and try to move away. He tried going down on me with his tongue to see if it was any easier, and that was better, it didn't really feel good (but that's probably because once it starts hurting I get a bit tense and it's hard to relax) but it didn't hurt as much UNTIL he tries to go deeper and then it's just the same!!I know that I don't have to be fingered to get pleasure, and that I shouldn't let my boyfriend do stuff that hurts, e.t.c but I really care about him and will want to have sex with him at some point and if I can't deal with a finger, his penis is gonna destroy me!!!I don't think that it's to do with me not being turned on enough, because I always am, it's just that once he goes down there and it starts hurting like a bitch, I kind of lose it a little and I'm worried it's not gonna get any easier if I get worked up about it.My last boyfriend broke up with me about a week after he tried to finger me and I reacted this way, and he told me it wasn't normal. I sometimes worry that he broke up with me because of my sensitivity. My current boyfriend also says that he's been told it isn't normal and that I should go to the doctors, he's also upset that he might not be able to sleep with me and that breaks my heart...Is there actually something wrong with me? It really does hurt, so bad I can barely deal with it. Is there anything I can do?? I know it's gonna hurt until I break my hymen but I swear mine must be reinforced with steel or something....Is this normal? Please help me.
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female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (12 April 2011):
There are a couple of possibilities:
1.Vaginismus. It basically means that you contract your pelvic muscles without being consciously aware of it which in turn makes your vagina too tight/small for penetration. It is often caused by anxiety (not just full blown panic but being slight nervous alone could be enough for this to start.) This is the most common explanation but at the same time hard to tackle.
2. Your vagina really is too small. This sounds like a huge issue but it can be solved through a short surgery that only lasts 15 minutes.
3. Your hymen is too tough. This can be helped through stretching it up or if that doesn't work, a short surgery.
In any case, visit your doctor who will in turn refer you to a Gynecologist. Don't be afraid or ashamed because there are many women dealing with the same thing.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2011): For some people it is normalProbably coz your no relaxed enough the more ye think about it the worse it'l getMaybe try using a lube might help
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