A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:ok long story short my older sister is pregnant(for the 2nd time to a different person). its gong to be the 1st baby in the family for 10yearsand im finding it EXTREAMLY hard to get used to the idea. shes only been with the father 1 month, and he is 9 years younger than her. she is 29 and hes 20.the problem is that she said if i was ever to get pregnant she would "kill" me (not literally)and disown me!i think its totally unfair on how she thinks she can have children and then tells me i wont be part of her or my nieces life (her 1st child) if i have a child!I would REALLY love a child of my own, but its her thats putting me off of going out with guys and getting into a serious/close/sexual relationship with them.Also if i was to fall pregnant now/soon, then everyone would think im copying her.i will admit that i am jelous of her because of this but jelousy only plays a small part in this.Its NOT a phase im goin through so please do not treat me as a silly girl. i have had this happen before on here.i am serious about what i write and i would really like to know how i can accept this new/unborn child before it arrives?and how long do i have to wait to fall pregnant with my own child (so i do not get called a copy cat.It IS something i want and i know i am ready for a child in every possible way! i have already found the greatest guy (we have slept together)we have both spoken (for quite a few months) about having children and we both thought it was a great idea then my sister dropped this bombshell on us. now i am crushed that i have to wait longer and my boyfriend feels slightly heartbroken that we have to wait aswell.i keep telling him that it will be worth it in the end but he doesnt want to believe me and if im honest i dont really want to believe it either! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP!
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male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (11 December 2007):
 You need to start living your own life and stop obsessing about your sister and what others will think.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (11 December 2007):
 Don't worry about copying. Do what you want to do.
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (11 December 2007):
 Well im not quite sure on how old you are but having a baby is a major committment that both you and your partner must be equal on. Try to understand where your sister is coming from. She tells you all those things because she wants to sort of scare or warn you on how difficult it may be on having a child. Trust her, she's just trying to protect you and she has gone through the same thing. You may like the idea of having a child but theres a lot more than just feeding them and changing their diaper. It is a big step. Your sister cares a lot about you so cut her some slack. When we love someone, we try our best to guide them down the right path although we failed to travel down that path ouorselves. So dont be angry with your sister. Its just her way with showing you how much she cares.
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A
male
reader, Uncle_Phil +, writes (10 December 2007):
 Well, having babies isn't a competition between siblings and you've every right to choose when you should become a mother without taking into account when or where others do the same.
However, I'm a firm believer that any baby should be born into a very secure relationship, preferably a marriage where both partners are absolutely 100 percent committed to each other.
Which isn't to say I disapprove of unmarrieds becoming parents, but there are far too many single mothers out there who ruin thier lives and future prospects, and the future of their babies because of an urge to become a mother at any cost - and it usually costs the taxpayer when said single mother thinks the state owes her and her child a living.
Beware of the boy or man who says he wants you to be the mother of his children. This is a very neat emotional blackmail kind of way of getting you between the sheets, relying on the natural female urge to become a mother and then doing a bunk if you should get pregnant!
Phil
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2007): 1. We don't know how old you are.
2. You getting pregnant wouldn't necessarily be considered "copying". It's your life.
3. It seems that if you can't accept this child just because you're frustrated/disappointed with your sister, perhaps you're just as closed minded as she is for thinking she can control your sex life.
These things change depending on your age. If you're under 20, which I want to assume you are, then your sister is just trying to protect you. Perhaps you should consider the responsibilities of being a parent.
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