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Filled with fears of rejection. So what can I do?? How to get the courage to talk to him?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 April 2016) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 April 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Long story short I like this guy in my college. Our mutual friends are really close so me and this guy are always in situations where we could talk. In fact we're usually stood right next to each other but talking to other members in the circle. I don't understand how its possible that I have such a huge crush when we've never said two words to each other but I do. He appears to be boyfriend material and from his interactions with others he just seems like a great guy. Im not a shy girl but the stage fright kicks in when I really start to like a guy. And I really like this one. Problem is he's shy too. Like really shy. And since we're both too shy to even talk as acquaintances, that's a major barrior to anything ever happening between us. My friends have claimed they've seen him staring at me when my back was turned like to see where I'm going but I don't know what to believe. Could that mean he's interested? I do the same with him also.

He's the type of guy that's impossible to read I can't tell what he's thinking or how he's feeling. He has the same expression 98% of the time so I can't tell what his stares mean. But I somehow have feelings for him just from eye contact. If that makes sense.

So how do I get over my own fears of rejection and just talk to him? When we're near each other it's like I'm being held underwater, in the sense that I can't form words directed at him...

View related questions: crush, shy

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (24 April 2016):

femmenoir agony auntI would also add,

this is a great way, for you to practice being more confident, because at the end of the day, you have nothing to lose, good or bad.

It's better to find out sooner and then deal with what is, than not to know ever, what could have been.

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (24 April 2016):

femmenoir agony auntHi,

perhaps you could break the ice by giving him a warm smile, when he makes eye contact with you.

After that, you could add a few words and that could be, whatever you feel comfy saying at that moment.

You could try giving a small compliment, reagrding he and his personality and maybe you could mention, that as nice a guy as he appears, you've never spoken to one another within your circle of friends.

He'll feel good receiving a compliment from you, especially if he too, likes you.

I suspect he likes you too and that's why he too, doesn't talk to you.

All the very best! :-)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (24 April 2016):

Honeypie agony auntStart small.

Get to know him by TALKING to him. You have PRIME opportunity as you move in the same circle of friends. It doesn't have to be long or deep conversations but little things, like compliment him on his T-shirt or whatnot and go from there.

If you can't even talk to him, you are holding yourself back. So just go slow, start small.

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