A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I really do have bad luck with men. Unlike other women who posted here, I do make good choices and always take care of myself. Dating married men has never been an option. In fact, I am very careful about who I date because I have a son who's 13. And yes, I more or less follow the "rules" [I know, sounds stupid] and don't pursue men too much and try to have that good balance of being feminine while remaining independent. I'm naturally a busy woman with a normal social life with friends. I work out, am fit, reasonably attractive with nice long hair and dress well. I've been online dating for so long, it's getting terribly frustrating. Men in their 50s and 60s want perfection despite themselves being bald and overweight. This was a very bad month. I was rejected by a man who I was communicating with who seemed so nice and sweet, another one I caught in a lie who thought he was texting someone else [I know!] and one guy who I just started dating told me he had herpes [before anything happened, thank goodness]. I give up! I have been divorced for eight years and if anyone has paid their dues by kissing frogs, it's me.They say the right one comes along when you least expect it, but believe me...I've been least expecting it for way too long. So why don't men like me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): Hi
I am sure men do...but why not try the old fashioned way...just get out enjoy yourself...stop searching and i bet mr RIGHT AND mr REAL walks right into your life. I personally think alot of online dating is like building up a shopping list of I want this/ dont want that...why not wait for a surprise! we are building up our IDEAL idea of a partner what we THINK is best...but i think fate knows better than us.
Good Luck.
Spunky Monkey :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): I think you just have to keep going and be hopeful. I have a divorced friend in his 40s who has found love with a lady of similar age - she said to me how difficult she had found it meeting nice men and had almost dispaired - but she found one! So all I can say is keep active and out there and maybe that nice guy will be around the next corner.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): The problem isnt you doll, its men around you. Theres so crap they make you feel like crap, which shouldnt happen. However, I am trying to understand your position. Online dating can be a huge disaster as anyone can be anyone online. For all you know Im not 26 and cant bench press 400 lbs, but rather Im 52, bald sexy and overweight ;p... get outta there. You sound way too cool and nice of a woman to be online, you should be out and about with ur ladies and even family. Close friends and family can be great matchmakers as they tend to know you best. I absolutely respect the fact you are careful with whom you mix up with. My mother was the same and while she did see good guys, she never ended up with any of them. I remember at my gym in the states there was always nice women...however in that environment with a man as big as me it was way rather easy to give women the wrong signal that im just lookin for action and to "throw" them around. But from a womans perspective at the gym, getting a date might be easier. Good luck here :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): I was exactly in the same boat until 6 months ago. I'm 44, had been online dating for 7 years, followed the rules and made my choices right. And it was a very painful journey at times.Things can happen when you least expect them to.It's hard to hold on to your confidence. I know. But hold on to it above all. Even if you have to do it on your own. Do things you enjoy doing. Spend time with friends, male or female, who value you for who you are. Put your dating prospects on a lower priority scale for a while, without giving up.Men do like you. But you have to like yourself. You must continue to like yourself, and continue to make choices that you're not ashamed to admit. Do not compromise on things that you shouldn't, such as honesty, and how you get treated.There is no need to settle for old men. Find yourself a toy boy to play with, just to boost your confidence. I'm sorry if anyone is offended by this suggestion. As long as you don't play with anyone's feelings and be honest about what you want, there is no wrong doing."Least expecting it for way too long"...oh....if you only knew how much I can relate to that!!!Let go the outcome and accept that being on your own is not the end of the world. It is better than being with the wrong person.The right one may or may not come along. But don't throw away the chance, however small. Don't allow bitterness or dispair to spoil your chances.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): The problem is not with you, but more likely to be online dating itself. It's a very hit and miss method of meeting anyone. And all those misses can become wearing after a while... Because of my work and lifestyle, I tend to rely on online dating too, and it's been a mostly fruitless experience. I've been using it off and on for ~4 years, and have had quite a few dates, but only one relationship. Sadly, she turned out not to be serious about a LTR (she was on the rebound), so that didn't work either. The ease and anonymity of online dating makes it easy for people who are confused, or who just want to boost their ego, to play at the dating game.As YouWish suggests, perhaps you'd be better finding someone through friends/contacts, or a social activity.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 December 2010):
 Ooh! Question? Have you ever been set up on a date by any of your friends? For some reason, many of MY friends have gotten married and fallen head over heels based on having "matchmaker" friends. This has the advantage of being someone known instead of some yahoo on the internet, so there is a bit of a filtering process.
Also, are you doing any hobbies, working out at a gym, or something that a common interest could get you meeting people? That might be a possibility.
Other than that, you might want to talk to some friends who know you in real life to see if they can give you insight and feedback as to what might be stifling your love life.
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