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Feels like hell

Tagged as: Faded love, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 May 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, *he_Knight writes:

First off, I'm a guy, and while this may seem unusual coming from a person of the male persuasion, I feel utterly lost and confused by my current predicament, so let me try and explain as best I can.

Let me begin by saying I'm madly in love with a wonderful woman. She brightens the horizons of otherwise cloudy days, and every moment I spend with her feels easily worth the world itself bathed in gold and platinum. My love for her barely meets expressionable accompaniment. But I find myself slowly fading.

I'm that "best friend" type of guy. I don't really fit in with the other guys, but the girls come to me with their problems, fears, feelings, and lord knows what else, and I do my best to help out to the best of my knowledge. And I'll admit, sometimes I feel like I could do better, help more, whatever. But that's besides the point.

I'm starting to feel torn. As well as my current girlfriend, there are currently two other women on the scene, both previous engagements of mine. And after speaking at length with them, I slowly find myself falling into...lust? I don't know, I can't label the feeling. But I know it's not fair on any of them, and I have absolutely no idea what I'm meant to do.

I feel like a whore, honestly. I don't understand my own feelings enough to come to a conclusion on it, so I'm having to open the floor to suggestions, since my own logic just won't work.

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A female reader, bobbles32 Canada +, writes (16 May 2009):

bobbles32 agony auntIt's usually normal to have lustful feelings toward other attractive women.. a healthy relationship should be able to withstand them. You seem to really love your girl, do you really want to hurt her like that? If you're thinking of doing anything with these other women then you need to break it off with her beforehand, spare her the misery of some cheating scumbag.

As brutal as that sounds, it's brutal honesty. Are you still attracted to your girl? Does she satisfy you? Are there underlying reasons why you feel yourself attracted to these other women? If so, you should address them before you continue a relationship whether it be physical or emotional with any of these women.

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A male reader, Mr.Insignificant United States +, writes (16 May 2009):

Mr.Insignificant agony aunt"...I'm madly in love with a wonderful woman. She brightens the horizons of otherwise cloudy days, and every moment I spend with her feels easily worth the world itself bathed in gold and platinum. My love for her barely meets expressionable accompaniment."

I suggest that you stop being the go to guy if you feel as you state above.

It is ok to be intrigued or even attracted to other people. When you find yourself at the crossroads which you are currently at though, that is when you need to remember what it is that you have in your life for which you are truly grateful.

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