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Feel used,dirty and sexually taken advantage of!

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 May 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 19 May 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

This is a gay sexual related question. I've been with my long distance partner for almost two years. We are each others first with this being a "gay relationship" however on my side he was my first, and I lost my virginity to him. When we had sex, he'd watch me, kiss me all over etctec, but I could not do all that he did to me, on him, as he has a skin disorder and it affects "certain parts" hint hint and he feels uncomfortable, and shy about baring it all. He says it'll take time. Well its 2yrs.

I feel that we are close to ending it, and i feel used, sexually taken advantage of, as he has seen me completely nude, done everything to me, even when we meet he always opens up my pants and I haven't even been given the chance to go there , and I haven't done anything like that, I know its stupid, but i'm feeling used, and dirty. What do i do?

View related questions: long distance, lost my virginity, shy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2006):

Hi There, thanks for your help, and advice, he has eczema, it's on his legs, patches on his arms, and he says his penis as well, but feels uncomfortable to bare all as he feels uneasy, and uncomfortable, but he wont even let me touch it, and when i'm with him, he is all over me.

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A female reader, willywombat United Kingdom +, writes (19 May 2006):

willywombat agony auntThis sounds like a slightly odd situation and I think you need to be strong and have it out with him. That is unless you are thinking of ending it anyhow, in which case move on. What do you mean by *skin disorder*? Have you actually seen this guys penis? I am not sure exactly what you are hinting at....do you think he is maybe a transexual, has a disease (skin) or really ahs issues with people seeing him nude....

I would love to help, but on the information given I am struggling to see what it is he has an issue with.

xxx

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (19 May 2006):

DrPsych agony auntDespite the resentment, you actually seem fond of this man or else you won't bother posting. I am not sure what sort of skin disorder he has but it must be very important to him if he has hidden it for 2 years. Perhaps the key to both your happiness would be for him to address his dermatological problems by seeing a doctor as treatment of whatever is wrong would move things on for you and him.

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A female reader, Jen43 +, writes (19 May 2006):

Please don't beat yourself up over this because you are not stupid. You're just smarter than you were before, that's all. I'm a married woman in my 40s who just happened to see your question. My heart goes out to you. I agree with the previous response. Definitely end it. End it now! Your partner was lucky to ever have someone who demonstrated as much patience and understanding as you, and you know what? He'll likely never find someone as good as you again! (I'm curious--did you ever see evidence of the mysterious skin condition on other parts of his body? If not, I wonder if he was lying to you about that? It just sounds so suspicious to me.) It really doesn't matter now--I hope you'll pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and find the happiness and love you deserve. A healthy, happy relationship NEVER makes you feel used and dirty, gay or not. I'm rooting for you!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2006):

Since you already feel that way, I say end it.

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