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Feel upset that he took mine, but I didn't take his!

Tagged as: Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 January 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2007)
A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been dating this guy for a little more than 1.5 years. I love him a lot and it's obvious he loves me a lot too. A month before our relationship established, he broke off his relationship wit his ex that went for a little more than 1.5 years on and off. They lost their virginity to eachother. I lost my virginity to him and i cant get over the fact that he didnt lose it to me. I feel so jealous of his ex and i cant seem to get over it. I've told him once about this and he reassured me that she's nothing and what they had doesnt compare to ours. i know i shouldnt dwell, they dont talk to eachother anymore. but i cant help think about her and their past relationship. all in all, im mad that i wasnt the one to take something so special and so i regret losing it to him despite that fact that i love him so much. how do i get over this?

View related questions: his ex, jealous, lost my virginity

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A female reader, **mandz** United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2007):

I have an unbelievably similar situation. I've known my boyfriend for way over 2 years (been going out for 4 months though) and we've always been very close. He lost his virginity to someone last Valentines Day; he only slept with her twice though. Their relationship only lasted 3 months, but I've always been incredibly aware that he has had sex before me. I lost my virginity to him a few months ago, even though I have always sworn that I'd never loose it to someone who already has lost it. It bothers me so much, but it's just something you've gotta get through. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't love you. In my personal opinion and exerience I have found that guys generally don't care about loosing their virginity as much as girls do. For example, this Valentines Days is my boyfriends 1 year sex anniversary, and to me that's a big deal but he doesn't care about it at all. My point is, you've just gotta try and forget about it. I know it's hard, but it's what you have to do. Trust me, I know how you feel and I have another friend in the same position. And the advice always remains the same. Good luck. xxx

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A female reader, aphexinfinite United Kingdom +, writes (9 January 2007):

aphexinfinite agony auntin youre mind you feel that loosing youre virginity was so special and that you felt that it would of been returned but it hasnt he had previously had done it with another person, so now you feel let down..dissapointed, that you gave it away youre feeling like it ddnt mean anything, im sure he treasures it and you..you need to put it behind you and move forward let go off it, dont dwell on the past or youll miss right now..i think all people think about partners past relationships, wishing we had saved it for the one or the one we think is the one..life is all about trial and error..in his case it was error..ure trialing at the moment if it was an error let time tell that.. enjoy the time you have now forget about the past..or youll miss out on a good relationship and it may struggle.. thats my opinion hope it helps xxx A

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