A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started dating a man about three months ago. We see each other almost every week-end. We'll spend most of it together. The week-ends usually consists of hours of conversation, laughing really hard, watching movies, sex, eating, driving, laughing, and more sex. Basically our time together is awesome. Our conversations are about childhood, friends and family, politics, work etc...I feel that I have deep feelings for this man. I really feel like i am falling in love.But, there is a problem: He might be leaving in a few months to another state for his medical residency if he does not get accepted in California to any programs. I spoke to him last week-end about it. I told him that I had strong feelings for him but I was afraid of taking too far since there was a chance he might be leaving. For the first time since we met, his attitude changed and he became very (non sexually) affectionate and genuinely sweet when I told him about my feelings and I felt like I could open up more to him at that point. So we sat for about 1.5 hours talking about it as we looked into each others eyes.He asked me what I wanted and he asked me if I wanted to stop seeing him and we would cut contact or if I wanted to continue and see where things would go. He asked me to think about it and get back to him as soon as possible about my decision. He did he say we could do a long distance or that he wanted more me in his future.He left the decision up to me....does it sound like maybe he isn't really into me but he is passing time until he moves or finds someone else? Why did he want me to decide so quickly?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I want to thank you all for the responses. Here is what happened next. We decided to stop seeing each other because of the uncertainty of the situation and I was always worried about the future and whether he was moving or not. We stopped talking for about three weeks when he texted me out of the blue to see how I was. I replied and he texted me back that he has been accepted to a local hospital for his residency! That meant he was going to be around. I was very happy for him. After a few texts he said he missed me a lot and needed to get closure with me. He wanted to plan something over the week end. I told him I would be busy for the next three weeks since i had a lot going on. As we waited to see each other we began our old texting and calling routines again, everyday. Finally the day came where we were going to see each other, it was a beautiful moment. I missed him sooo much. We ended up spending the whole week end together and had an incredible time. Before he left on Sunday, I said: so is this the closure week-end you wanted? I was half joking because I thought why do you spend an entire week-end with someone if all you want is closure? Well next thing I know, he starts crying and telling me we have no future together. He told me he liked me so much and cared for me a lot but he did not see a future together. It ripped through me like a bullet. I could not believe this: we just spent an incredible week end together cooking, laughing, hiking and being intimate.... I dont know how to feel. I almost feel like he played me so he could spend time with me. But the tears is what I don't get! Anyone has any opinions on this?
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (21 February 2014):
 It appears that you are likely to get hurt sooner or later since you already have fallen for the guy. I would just have fun while it lasts. You've only been together for 3 months, who knows maybe he'll decide he does want you in his future. Since you have so much fun when you are together I would suggest you sit back and enjoy the ride.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (21 February 2014):
 My advise stands as I did read it as he had not made any promises or you would not be here asking for advise.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI made a mistake in my question. He did not say we could have a long distance relationship or that he would wanted me to be prt of his future. I think that can change things a bit...
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2014): I disagree with Sugarplum. You brought up the idea of not wanting to take this further in case you get hurt. He's made it clear that he wants to be with you to the point where he even wants to try an LDR with you if he does end up leaving. You're the one who is confused here, he knows he wants you and he's made it clear that he wants you, so he's left the decision up to you because he probably doesn't want to commit his heart to a woman who is unsure.
OP he's been very clear about what he wants, the only person here who is unsure is you.
He wants you to decide quickly because obviously he has feelings for you and doesn't want to get hurt. Remember OP, he's not the one who brought up the possibility of not wanting to be together, he says that he does want that. You wouldn't exactly like to kept waiting while a person makes that kind of decision would you? He doesn't want to be strung along for too long, so he'd rather know than not know.
So make your decision, OP. You either want to keep seeing him and take the chance with him or you don't.
Personally seeing as it's only a possibility he's leaving and it's still a few months away I'd make the decision to stay. I mean imagine losing him now only to find out his residency is actually more local, that would be a bit of a bitch wouldn't it?
I'd take the risk, OP, because he sounds great. Sounds like he's very open and honest with you. You have a great time together and you both have feelings for each other. I'd rather be hurt in a few months by him leaving than hurt by regret looking back and always wondering what might have been.
A few more months of great times with a guy you really like is worth the risk if you ask me.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786 +, writes (20 February 2014):
Sounds like you still did not get any answers from him. I did not read anywhere that he says he loves you and is willing to make this work even if he moves. You just might be a casual fling. He is the only one that can tell you what he feels and whether he is in for the long haul. If you still don't get any positive response, I suggest you end things as he will walk away from you should he have to leave for another state.
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