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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriends for a couple of years now but I have fallen in love with somebody else: his best friend! What do I do? I love his friend but do not think he loves me. Do I just stay with my boyfriend and hope that it is just a passing stage or do I talk to the friend? HELP
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): I fear i am falling in love with my boyfriends bestfriend too. Though i love my boyfriend so much, i cant seem to control these feelings.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): omg, almost all the posts here are anything BUT advice.
What i believe is this: girls fall for the best friend, brother, etc. because it is in this person that they receive the attention they want and are not getting from their own partners. Plus, the whole "forbidden love" thing is always hot! (Just knowing you're sitting inches away from someone you can't have builds such a tremendous sexual tension).
Anyways, I think you should talk to your boyfriend and find what is is the two of you are not on the same page with. It is very possible that the boyfriend thinks everything is going dandy, but since we girls over analyze every single detail of every relationship, we don't see it as such. Think about what it is you expect from a relationship, and see if your current relationship fills those expectations. If you feel your boyfriend neglects you and takes you for granted (thus the whole I'm-in-love-with-his-best-friend), perhaps ending that relationship and finding someone else that makes you totally and completely happy and content that you don't even notice anyone else in the room when you're with them is best.
Basically, before doing anything irrational, take time to evaluate your relationship with your boyfriend. It IS completely normal to be taken and happy and STILL be attracted to other people (hey, we're only human), but when that attraction starts to take priority above your current relationship, then you know something is wrong.
And just to make things fair: yes, I'm also attracted to one of my boyfriend's friends (he is sooooooo HOT!). Pale skin, blue-black hair, smoldering gray eyes, strong jawline, soft-looking lips, amazing poet/artist/singer/pianist/guitarist. Hahaha. But that's just it: physical attraction. We barely talk; we're more the sitting-next-to-each-other-at-my-boyfriend's-house-thus-causing-immense-sexual-tension kind. But he has a girlfriend, too. Instead, we would go out and flirt with each other shamelessly, but then go home and do our our lovers! Never has my love life been better than when I came to accept the fact that people will always find other people attractive; this doesn't mean you love them, but rather, LUST them.
Remember what it is that made you fall in love with your boyfriend in the first place. Can you find that same reason in your attraction to his friend? If your attraction to his friend just lists reasons on the physical level, it's nothing to worry your relationship over. But if you start seeing similar reasons on both lists that aren't just physical, than take time to re-evaluate you and your boyfriend's relationship.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): Girls, It is a tricky situation, and we are always going to find things we find attractive in other men. I am not in your situation, I am the girlfriend of your boyfriends bestfriend. I noticed that my boyfriends best friends girlfriend started hitting on my boyfriend, always eager to have an in-depth conversation with him, always draping her arms over his legs when they talk. Asking him to dance, and then when he says no, not asking anyone else to dance, me included! and we are also meant to be friends. My boyfriend hasnt noticed, probably because he is the most trusting and trustworthy person, and thinks that she would never do anything like that because in his mind its just the biggest NO NO and he expects others to think that too. When I started pointing these things out to him (because obviously they were making me feel very uncomfortable, threatened and disrespected) he was in Shock! Whats worse is that she has admitted to me that her boyfriend is SO NOT the type of guy she goes for, infact, my boyfriend is exactly what she usually goes for. So, I know I am not imagining it. Girls, please, there are plenty of fish in the sea, why ruin someone elses happiness for your own selfish feelings. Just because his best friend is paying attention to you, doesnt mean he fancies you, he probably is making an extra effort because you are his best mates bird and he wants us all to get on, dont mistake it with anything else. Use your heads girls, be sensible about situations, if things arent going well with your own relationship, sort it out, dont start seeking attention from elsewhere LEAST not his best friend. If by any chance you end up cheating on your boyfriend with his best friend, then you are very dis-loyal, untrustworthy, selfish and spoilt people, and in which case, will probably lead to further lies and dishonesty with in your life. You should be ashamed to call yourself human, and should never have kids because you are a bad example. Yes, I am a bit bitter because we all should know our limits, and when those lines are crossed, it is hard coming back over. Girls .... THINK!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): i seem to be having the same problem as the rest of you. unlike the rest of you though, i haven't been with my boyfriend very long at all, only two months. while i'm not exactly sure if i "love" him, i do have very strong feelings for him and i care a lot about him just as a person. the thought of loosing him right now is quite upsetting but i have feelings for his best friend too. i know that may seem wrong but i didn't choose for things to be this way. i've known the best friend's younger brother for a few years now although i just met the boyfriend and the best friend the same day, not too long ago. the best friend and i have so much in common. a lot more than my boyfriend and i do. my boyfriend and i spent our first few dates with the best friend just to help break the ice. i guess my boyfriend had no idea i'd fall for his best friend but this guy is so gorgeous and almost perfect. i don't even really know what it is about him that makes me feel this way toward him. i didn't think my boyfriend suspected anything until one night my boyriend picked me up at a party where i had had a tad too much to drink and we ended up at the best friend's house. there were about 15 guys and me. i was the only one under the influence and i noticed a few of the guys starring at me, offering their jackets, and their seats. the best friend being one of them. and i know any decent guy would be the same but i like to think it was something special for me. since that night my boyfriend refuses to take me around his best friend and won't tell me why. gah.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008): i seem to be having the same problem as the rest of you. unlike the rest of you though, i haven't been with my boyfriend very long at all, only two months. i don't know if i "love" him but i do have very strong feelings for him and he means a lot to me just as a person. he's a great guy and probably the best i've found thus far, except his best friend. i've known his bestfriend's younger brother for a few years now but i just met the best friend. he's absolutly gorgeous and almost perfect. we have quiet a bit in common. things that my boyfriend don't have in common and things that my boyfriend makes fun of. i met him the same day i met the boyfriend and the three of us spent the firs few dates together. considering it is my boyfriend's best friend, i pretend like he's annoying and i'd rather spend as little time aruond him as i can. while i act this way i believe my boyfriend knows somethig about me, or his best friend. one night after i'd had a tad too much to drink we went to the best friend's house where there were about 15 guys and me. i was the only one there under the influence and i noticd a few of the guys starring at me, offering their jackets, and their seats. the best friend being one of them. while this is something any decent guy would do, after that night my boy friend refuses to take me around his best friend and will not tell me why. i wish i knew what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2008): Of course i'm glad to find out i'm not alone in this. I've been sleeping with a guy for a few months, I met him one night and god i was so into his best friend but his best friend had a lady. 2 days later they broke up. It was ok...we get along so well, same music, skateboarders, he's my physical type... a few weeks ago he started quietly hitting on me, at first i kind of strugged it off..then last week when we were watching a movie we suddenly locked eyes and when my lover dozed off we had a snuggle.. then it almost happened again on Thursday, but my lover placed himself in the middle. Then last night I burst into their apartment at 4 am, and passed out between them, watching a movie. I woke up, looked over, and saw best friend awake too. I said " You were so mean to me in my dream" and his answer.. "well....in my dream, you weren't wearing these pants..." and we then snuggled up for 2 hours while my lover was asleep and we could barely bring ourselves to wake him up.
I'm dying..I adore him. Why am i sleeping with someone i'm not even attracted to and have this guy in front of me? sigh
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): Wow...I had no idea that this problem was experienced by so many other people. I am falling pretty hard for by boyfriend's best friend...me and my boyfriend have been together for about 2 1/2 years. I have been feeling this way for about 3 months. We talked about it and I learned that he felt the same way also...but what can we do right? We will flirt...play footsie under the table when out with a big group...hang out w/o my boyfriend being there. He has turned into my best friend...I tell him everything. We can talk for hours at a time. Well I got into a pretty bad fight with my boyfriend and ended up going to my crush's place and drink a few beers and whine about it. I'm sure most of you have figured out where this goes by now...we had a little too much to drink and ended up making out for hours. It was so hot though...I stayed at his place and hung out with him most of the next day...ignoring all my boyfriend's calls. We figured we wouldn't tell anyone at all about it and leave it at that. But then we talked about how fun it was and we had both thought about doing this for awhile now. I am so confused...I cant stop thinking about him. But is it really worth ruining a friendship? And it kills me inside to know the pain it would put my boyfriend through. But I don't know how long I can ignore these feelings and hope they go away.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): I am in the same situation and it is awfully painful. It happened not too long ago to me and exploded like a nuclear bomb, leaving me to deal with the harmful fallout. I seem to be coming around ever-so-slightly, but I have figured out some stuff; hopefully this should help anyone who is faced with this ugly predicament. The best option is to stay with your boyfriend and hope that it will pass. Talking to the friend is risky; because his loyalties likely lie with your boyfriend, there is a chance that your crush could rat you out and you'll be screwed. This is especially true if you do not think that the friend loves you in return. The safest way this can be brought to light is if the friend professes his love to you. The bottom line is, if you're unsure of it, then keep a lid on it. I am still feeling my way through my tangled emotions, but I have figured some things out that may help you all. One thing to keep in mind is this: would you really want your crush to lose his best friend? Of course, there is the chance that you two could break up amicably and your boyfriend could give you two his blessings, but there is a greater probability that the sh#! could seriously hit the fan. I would not wish that on either of them. As well, as hard is it may be, make a list of the friend's flaws. Imagine him as the grossest, dirtiest person ever. Think of his pillow as being full of grease and dandruff! Also, it may be tempting to entertain your emotions with sad music and emo poetry...but a steady diet of will spiral you into depression. Instead, air-guitar crazily. Blare songs like Queen's "We Will Rock You" and do the hand-claps. Kick your friends' asses at video games. Shop. Visit amusement parks. Go screaming. Conduct shopping-cart races in parking lots at night. In short, have some seriously crazy adventures. If your love for the friend worsens, keep this in mind; wildfires only happen if the conditions are ripe. Essentially, assess the reasons your heart went astray. Are you having relationship problems? Can you fix them? If your relationship with your boyfriend is rocky, this crush may be a sign that things are not going as well has you had originally thought. You two may even need to break up. If you do, you may end up with his gorgeous friend...and you may not. Or you may even find that the "cure" to this crush is your re-discovered love for your boyfriend; I know from experience that a solution for the pain of unrequited love can be different feelings for a different person. Keep in mind that everything happens for a reason because nature breaks what doesn't bend. If it was not meant to be with either boys, then that makes you much better off in the long run. There is no use fitting square pegs into round holes. You will be just fine.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): Okay. So i had sex with a guy who has all the qualities in a guy i lust 4!! 2 my eyes he is theE sexiest guy alive!! i kne he jus had me there 4 sex! Hes so georgous i kne dat he had at least 10 more girls on the side! i wanted 2 get into a relationship n not b jus sex buddies. So i moved on 2 his friend. N he was okay about it. Me n his friend got really serious! i love him 2 death!! We live together.... Its been over a year since i hooked up wit anybody other than my boyfriend!!! BUT..... About 2 months ago... i started fantasizing about his friend the one i hooked up with first!! And we all hang out in a big group.. So everyone gets together like every other day.. N 2 months ago all i could think about is his friend!! Omg... Hes just so georgous!! i love how he looks! i could tell he would flirt alot with me but i wouldnt budge cuz i love my boyfriend. This guy is so pretty! So i had 2 talk 2 him again! It wasn't hard getting his number! N i text him. We met and we hooked up!! It was great! i loved it! Were like each others back up plan! Its perfect! No one knows!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2008): I'm pretty sure I love my boyfriend's best friend too. I've actually known him longer than I've known my boyfriend. It's really getting out of hand. I'm thinking about him all of the time and my bf is getting suspicious. He says, " I know it's coming, one of these days you're gonna break up with me and marry him." I've never cheated and I never will, but if I'm thinking about him so much it's pretty much the same thing right? Ahhhh, I feel horrible and like the rest of you guys, I'm clueless as to what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2007): get over it for godness sake
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2007): Hey girls, I'm in the same boat! Been with my live-in BF for 2 years, yet I'm attracted to his best friend who spends almost every day hanging out with us (he's lonely and going thru a divorce). Last night I had the HOTTEST dream about us hooking up. It would never happen, tho, because he's a conservative Christian and I wouldn't do that to my boyfriend. But wow, all I can say is...smooth brown skin, deep black eyes, Spanish accent...Mmm
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): I Think you should talk to his friend! i say leave ur boyfriend and go out with his mate , have as much fun as u want !!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007): ok..im 22 and have been with my guy since i was 17..we have been through the ups and downs but i have also liked his bestfriend who is also my bestfriend for the same amount of time we have been a couple,and my feelings for him have gotten really STRONG and i think he loves me to he always tells me i look nice, and gives me looks u kno,,,im so confused ..practiclly in teARS..what do i do..and my bf always says things to me like, u kno he loves u...but he thinks i have no feelings back. im miserable...and the besyfriend sometimes tries to act like nasty to me..and wen i sed something he said i wanted to see if u noticed,,something like that ..so much more i cant explain
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2007): dudeee. i have a problem similar. i love my boyfriend... but his bestfriend likes me. he was flirting with me nonstop when my bf is gone and then once he shows up his best friend acts normal.. what do i do??? my bf definately doesnt see it. like last night at my friends party he was all over me!! i felt weird and couldnt walk and he kept saying he would carry me if i wanted. i know he likes me and hes cute and all, but im not going to break up with my bf. i love him too much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2007): I am feeling that way too! What the heck is wrong with us? Maybe we are lacking something in our relationships that is fulfilled by the attention their friend gives us.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2007): same thing happened to me... i knew my x bfs best friend and i had something between us ... you just feel it sometimes...i recently told his best friend that ive had a crush on him this whole time... and it seems that hes gona be choosing me ... or hes still gona be with me and not tell his best friend which im fine with... he'll fall too deep to get out of it soon anyway:) hehe
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): so me and this guy had a thing for a year. we did love each other alot but we never considered ourselves to me boyfriend and girlfriend. after that year, i gave up becuase i wanted to call him my bf. so 2years have passed. and now i'm dating is best friend, which i love more then anything. so since they are best friends we're around each other all the time. we do text each other alot and just recently he told me he still loved me and that he wishes he could go back in time so i could be his. I feel the exac same way, but i cant leave my boyfriend. he means everything to me. i hate this situation. i love them both... :[
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2007): well if you fancy your boyfriends best friend more than your boyfriend talk 2 ur boyfriend in private and dump him and explain why!
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2007): ughh.. heres my stupid dam love emotional lusting dramatic SCARY situation. im about to move across the coutry with my bf of only 1 year and a half. i recently noticed how beautiful his friend is. i dont even know him. i want to know him. i know hes a nice guy, and very reserved. i just dont know anything else. were moving in like 2 weeks and i dont know if i should go. i also have an 18 month old son (father not involved) and i dunno what to do. should i tell my bf i want to wait ? (hes moving regardless) this guys frikken smokin but i doubt he has the brains i love about my bf so much. whatever. im also 20, and am afraid of taking my lil boy away from gramma and grampa etc etc. im afraid of being alone. i dont like going out much, id rather be in love. what do i do. :( .. god hes so hot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): I have the same exact problem!!! I don't know what to do either.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2007): Here it goes...yeah it's his personality. His best friend's personality is something I like. And his eyes. His best friend flirts with me and seems to like me. But it's like what other people on here have said: "But my bf is such a sweetie, etc." We've only been going out for a short time, so I'm thinking of not telling him, and just letting months pass by, to see if this crush goes away. His friend has been known for trying to go out with his ex's. His friend has hugged me before. And we've flirted with one another before. I felt guilty later on for flirting with him, cos I realized if my man were flirting with someone like how I was, I wouldn't like that. I don't know what is going to happen. I don't want to be a cheating person. I want to be good. I want to be faithful. Sometimes I don't understand how my own mind works. I look at some of the things I've said, and they are deceptive.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2007): My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 10 months. We moved in together about 5 months ago and everythings been great for the most part. My boyfriend is a loving and caring man. He's also a very hard worker and is very good to me and my family. He and I have known each other since we were in sixth grade and now I'm finishing up my bachelors degree.
Several years ago I ran into my boyfriend (well at the time he wasn't my boyfriend...) at the mall with his friend. We spoke for a little while and his friend really caught my eye. I didnt see the friend again until my boyfriend and I started dating. At first it was really nothing, I just thought he was hot. Here more recently, however, he's been coming over often to chill and theres something that has me really drawn to his friend. I think about him when he's not around. I've fantasized about him, had dreams about him, etc.
Lately, things between the boyfriend and I have started going a bit cold. Hes still a wonderful boyfriend to me and I'm happy with him, but we fight more often and I have a very decreased sex drive.. I do love him still very much, but I'm not sure what the reasons for this are.
Everytime his friend comes over here all I can think about is being all over him. The things that I would like to do to him if my boyfriend weren't in the picture. --Recently the friend and I made and held eye contact for awhile and he smiled...I've also noticed him staring at me out of the corner of my eye and when the three of us hang out the friend and I do most of the talking.. leading to my boyfriend getting suspicious.. I would never do anything to hurt my boyfriend..HELP!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2007): I am having the same prolem but its worse. I am engaged and we all live together. my fiance his best friend and me. well my fiance has turned into a total loser. for all you girls out there move in with him before you marry him. but anyways we do nothing together he always tells me to take his best friend so i do and his friend has just told me that he is falling for me and i feel the same way but we all live together i have told my fiance to leave but he wont we fight all the time but i just dont know what to do i dont even just like his best friend i have fallen in love with him and totally completely out of love with my fiance i even told his best friend that there are so many consequences to this he would lose his friend of 20 years for a girl and he is okay with it i don't know what to do
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): ok..this an update to my prior dilemma (Second June 5th reader). I broke up with my bf and now currently dating his best friend. It worked out fine but my ex, his best friend, still doesn't know. I know it won't be a big deal for my ex since we weren't all that serious to begin with, but we're still worried about the rest of the guys in the group. They have an idea of what may be going on but they're not sure and they're not approaching us with it. One of them already did approach us, but we just told him it's not what they think. I don't know why we said that cuz we're going to have to explain sooner or later. But we'd like to tell my ex first before anyone else. My ex and my current bf work together and have to see each other everyday, but luckily my ex just got a new job offer and he will be quiting soon. That's when we are planning to tell him. I think feelings are something that you just can't help and no matter how much you want try to convince yourself that these feelings are strong and true, you can't deny the fact that's it's still wrong. We know it's wrong, but we're willing to risk our friends being mad at us for a while versus us losing each other. I'm happy taking one step at a time. Things have gotten better over the month and half, but we're still trying to work things out so that my ex doesn't get his ego hurt. It's not his heart we're worried about, it's his ego. He pretty much started dating again...very soon...I just pray everyday that this will work out. I really like my bf and I don't want to lose him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): Talk about a tough situation. My girlfriend and I have a long distance relationship and I am infatuated with her ex room - mate and ex-friend. If my girlfriend knew I was even blinking in her direction it would be over. I love my girlfriend so much and 4 years is a long time. This may just all be you always want what you cant have. I'm scared to death of losing my girlfriend and its not always a safe decision breaking up with someone you are safe with . Same goes for the friend...it may not work out and you may be shooting yourself in the foot and ending up alone. Right now im working on giving it time and not making any decisions too fast. Think how you would feel if you caught your girlfriend talking to one of your hottest friends behind your back...
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2007): OMG, the same thing is happening to me. So i was in NY with a bunch of friends and this guy (bob) was texting me till like 3 o clock in the morning trying to convince me to like his best friend(fred) so then he convinced me and i told Fred how i felt and he asked me out. But as soon as i got back from NY i started talking to Bob alot and now i like him way more then i like my bf. and bob flirts with me alll the time and we hang out more then my bf and i do. but im scared if i break up with my bf that bob wont talk to me anymore. so i feel your pain i have no idea what to do. one option is talk to both of them and just tell them the truth. Good lUck
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2007): I like my boyfriend's best friend. I tried to get over him for the past six months and I just can't seem to do that. I thought it was just a phase at first, but now I'm sure I just simply like him. My boyfriend is a great guy, but I just don't see a future with this guy or even feel the same way about him as I felt in the beginning. His best friend in the other hand, I don't see a future with him as well.
His best friend and I had a fling this past weekend at Vegas....*ahem*...But we know nothing can ever happen between us. I sometimes get confused who my boyfriend is because his friend is so sweet to me. He's even sweeter now after what had happened. He's driving me crazy. I don't think any of this would have happened if we didn't get so drunk, but now that it did...and it's exposed, I don't know what to do anymore.
I just want to get over him and have things go back to normal. I don't want to hurt any of them. I know I'm wrong, but these feelings are just something I have no control over. I think my best bet is to stop hanging around them anymore.
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reader, meggers  +, writes (5 June 2007):
okay so i had been thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend for a while, because i am just not into him anymore and i was also starting to like his friend who is a total sweetheart and would treat me better. The reason why i was delaying breaking it off with my bf was because his bday was coming up and i felt it was mean to break it off right before. the day before his birthday he asked me if i wanted to go see pirates 3 the day it opened, and i told him no because that was the day my mom was going through her cancer treatments, he then spazzed at my and called me a fugly whore, so right then i had no empathy towards him so i broke up with him on his bday. when we parted his friend came up to me and hugged me and then said that he would still be my friend even if things would be strained between me and my bf. when i walked away he then told my bestfriend that he has liked me for a long time (even before me and my bf started going out)...so we both like eachother but i dont want to ruin their friendship what do i do!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2007): I will choose to stay with my bofriend and just think that this feeling of mine to his friend is only an infatuation and will never last longer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): Oh my god this happened to me too... I think i like one of my Bf's bestfriends.. I m not sure if he feels the same.. Sometimes i think he does. But its kind of confusing.. I dont think he would want to do that to his bestfriend though.. So i guess i will need to stop liking him but i dunno:(
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2007): Same situation. Only I know exactly what is happening to me and it ANNOYS me that I am having such immature feelings. I have been with my bf for over 3 years. I am in love with him, never fancied anyone until just recently. Of course it just had to be his damned best friend, (!!!) who is also about 5 or 6 years younger than me. He's very shy with me, sometimes I even think he doesn't particularly enjoy my company, but then I catch him looking at me with the corner of my eye.
I don't even really find him particularly stimulating intelligence wise, or very educated, but he is just so damn sexy.
I am about to move in with my boyfriend, to another country, and I know this will all pass when I don't see the friend anymore...but I just have such an urge to be all over him. It's insane, it purely a physical thing but i CAN'T seem to push him out of my thoughts. And I do feel guilty. I do not think this means that I don't love my boyfriend though, since I don't have intentions of doing anything with his friend. I guess ut'll just have to be one of those fantasies.
It sucks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): dont worry, im in da same position. Its so confusing. I need help also
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2007): ok i desperately need help so i will take anything!!!!!!
Ok well, i have been w/ my boyfriend for almost a year now, and he's great, but im in love w/ his best friend. I'll tell u everything.
Well in the beginning of my relationship w/ my bf, it was great. But ex gfs of his started to get in the way but we survived through tht. now recently everyday we fight and fight and fight. He says he's sick of it and i am 2. I want to take a break or something but he loves me sooooooooooo much and i dont kno if i could do tht to him. So 4 months ago, I met his best friend. Already i was like OOOOOO HOT but really shy. so i started to talk to him a lil more each time i saw him. He's really nice and he seems to care... but idk for sure. But 1 thing he got through a really bad realtionship and the whole time i was like i could treat him better than she did. He's now in another relationship and he loves her and there's no way im breaking tht up. But wht im trying to tell u is tht im not happy w/ my boyfriend now and i think his best friend could treat me better... I need HELP!!!! I love both of them and dont know wht to do. HELP!!!!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2007): well, i'm having that problem now. i broke up with my boyfriend 5 months ago, and two months now his best friend and i are together. well, no one knows about that, and we secretly are seeing each other. it's sometimes strange, but, it's worth it... you should please yourself. live your head for a moment,and let your heart decide
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2007): I've been going out with my boyfriend for 2 months now but the longer we go out, the less I like him. This may be because I keep comparing him to his best mate, who I had a crush on for a year before my boyfriend asked me out. I still really fancy him and don't know if I'm only going out with my boyfriend for the sake of having one or to feel cool or whatever. I'm always happy when I see his mate, he makes my heart beat faster whereas my boyfriend, well, I'm just getting bored of him and notice all the negative things about him since he keeps mentioning them and I just sem to like his mate's personality and looks a lot more than his. But I know he doesn't like me so I don't know if I should keep going out with him or not, I know he loves me to bits.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): hello,i know what u mean, i was in a txi with my bf's best mate last week and we kissed on the lips 4 a friendly kiss, i like him thou.
I was out with him the n8 and brought it up and he said it was him trying he liked me!! ME i thought wdf? But we kissed meaningfully, i dunt know what til say at the minute but think im going til tell my bf the truth!! i like his best m8 and he likes m8.
I dont know what to say... follow ur instincts!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): i was in the exact same siuation, however my bf's bst friend liked me too.all i can say i try and give the best friend a sign that you like him to see if he likes you back, like a slight touch while passing him or holding eye contact with him. that is how we found out that there was something between us, hope this helps as i know it is a very frustrating situation to be in
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): wow..even tho alot of people are having the same problem..i also..i dated this guy for two weeks but its still very early..and i like his freind before i met him..my bf is really sweet, but kinda clingy, and his freind is so fun to be around..he lives on the other side of town from me..and doesnt own a car, we have no classes together..but EVERYTIME i see him..i get so happy..like..im in love or something..is it worth it? or should i just try to forget the freind..my sister thinks that getting with the freind is trashy..and im not even sure if the freind likes me..but when i hang out with my bf, the freind is always there..and he stares at me..and in halls when i see him.. he gives me this look...and it makes my heart beat faster..what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2007): well as it turns out, i am starting to hate my boyfriends because i think i am in love with his bestfriend... who is totally hott, and more my type than my bf.. so i dont know what to do.. i am too afraid to break up wit my bf because i actually have a heart.. i am starting to hate him actually.. lol... yea i need major help
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): This question has been posted so long ago, I'm curious what happened.. I've got the same problem right now, my bf's got so many character-flaws.. But I'm afraid that's what the problem is, you get so close to a person that you'll see everything about him, including his negative sides. I'm afraid that's the reason why the best friends seem so attractive. But don't forget: it's a lot different to have a relationship with him. It might not be what you hoped for.. Keep that in mind. But gosh it's hard..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2007): I like my boyfriend and it was great at first, I knew I could fall in love with him.
But then his friend came along. me n my bf are gay, and so is this guy. He's not paticularly stereotypically attractive and he can be a really messy drunk but he's got the most amazing personality. We unexpectedly met up the other night and ended up by some lake and it was like, movie scene perfection. He notices all the little things my bf misses, and hes made it clear he has feelings for me although neither of us have said anything about it to each other but I think I'm falling in love with this guy. But I wont tell him because I cant do that to my bf. Im not happy in my relationship.
They are real close and all 3 of us hang around in the same social group so any chance we might have had is impossibly small.
Oh. I hate them both damn it!
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