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Falling for her again.

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Question - (31 January 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 January 2012)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I asked a friend for a relationship last year (about 6 months ago) and she said no.

I respected her answer and kept distance for several months as I tried to heal and move on.

We are still friends and I enjoy that.

Now, I am falling for her again. I can tell that I still like her. Iv'e spent time with her recently and those feelings are coming back. She isn't saying no to me when I ask her out either.

I don't know what else to do. I feel like I am about to set myself up for disappointment again. Do I just stop talking to her? Help!

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A male reader, Jaydilla11 United States +, writes (31 January 2012):

i have a friend that is going through the exact same thing but this kid has been going through the same situation for 3 years and this girl clearly only wants to be friends but he is very vague in telling her he likes her.. all i am going to say is don't be my friend waiting around wasting your life for 3 years go ahead and tell her how u feel maybe she has changed her mind, and if she rejects you then you move on with your life telling yourself you at least gave it a shot... trust me no girl is worth going through all that my friend went through

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A female reader, AbigailBradbury United Kingdom +, writes (31 January 2012):

AbigailBradbury agony auntThis is a very complex situation. As you said she's a friend..

This could ruin everything.

You have to ask yourself, would you rather never try and never know, or try and lose a friend. Which would you hate most.

Would you rather have her in your life as a friend, or try for more and lose her altogether.

You need to listen to your head and not your heart here.

Do the sensible thing. Give it time, and see how she feels.

Don't ruin it again. Time is a blessing. She might change her mind. :) x

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (31 January 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntI think the best thing you need to do here is to be honest with yourself and to her. Tell her how you feel and see what she has to say, all she can say is no again and at least you know where you stand. You also need to be honest with yourself and accept that you can never just be friends with this girl because your feelings run much deeper so that is a decision you need to take on yourself. Good luck.

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