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Expoding pain everytime I try to put anything in,down there

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Question - (4 November 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 5 November 2010)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I Dont know what to do. This is my problem..I cant use a tampon or have sex. Im 19 years old me and my boyfriend for 15 moths in counting are both very ready. But it hurts way to bad, and not the ordinary "pinch" then goes away pain,it the "oh my god stop dont ever touch me again!" pain,i have cried almost every time we have trued either from the pain or frustration.I thought it was because i had never tried to put anything in there before so i tried a tampon. Same thing happens,so i tried a Q-tip..same thing. It seems to be when something tries to stretch the Urethra? (right under the clit) is were the pain explodes. I tried to ask my doctor one but she went off on a speech about having sex for myself and not letting anyone pressure me, but she never answered my questions. (she was in her last 60 at least) Do any off you know what the problem might be?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010):

All the other posts are full of good ideas. I just happened to catch something in your question that caught my eye, you say you tried inserting things right below your clit and specifically mentioned your urethra. You do know that you do NOT put anything into your urethra right? That is not your vagina, that is just for pee to exit your body. Below your urethra is your vaginal opening. You should look up a diagram online and get a hand mirror and look at yourself. I hope you are not trying to stick things in your urethra that would be excruciatingly painful. I'm going to guess that your boyfriend is also very young and inexperienced if he is also trying to stick his penis in your urethra. My suggestion if this is true is to just slow down and both of you take time getting completely familiar with each others bodies with your hands before you try to have sex again. Let him feel you down there, and finger you that will help to stretch your vagina (NOT URETHRA) and it should help with entry.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010):

the pain that you are experiencing could also be down to your first experience... you need to use lubrication and to slowly build up to sex. and most importantly you have to relax. when ur boyfriend kisses you try to lose yourself in the moment and loosen up. let his hands wander and explore and do the same to him... you must must relax and be comfortable to let ur muscles relax in your vagina which intern creates your own lubrication. the more turned on you are the less likely it will hurt but remember build up to it first. i hope this helped hunni x

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A female reader, charliesdevil73 United States +, writes (5 November 2010):

charliesdevil73 agony auntStarfairy has a possible explanation. Another, that is very similar, is vaginitus. Have you ever been on birth control? I have vaginitus and it acts up when I am not on the pill or on the wrong pill. I don't want to have sex when it is acting up, it is painful and very similar to what you are describing. I saw a gynecologist and they told me that is what it is. Unfortunately, not all physicians are thoroughly trained in that area so try a gyno and see what they say.

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A female reader, starfairy United Kingdom +, writes (5 November 2010):

starfairy agony auntGoogle vaginismus, sounds like that might be your problem...

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A female reader, angelalb United States +, writes (5 November 2010):

I would go to another doctor. You could have a medical problem. I had a cyst once and only found out because during sex it was painful. I hope you figure it out. Take care Daniele

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