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Ex says he wants to see me once more and tell me the truth.Should I go?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 March 2011) 4 Answers - (Newest, 22 March 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *pendy writes:

Your Open Question:

What should I do? text my ex bf or not? am really hurt:(? ? ?

My ex boyfriend cheated on me, lied to me and dumped me:( he's hurt me so much, I loved him so much and he always told me he loved me.

He broke up with me 2weeks ago and am really hurting, but it seems like he's moved on.

Is after midnight and he's been on the phone for over 30mins that's when me and him would be talking on the phone:( and I wanna text him this:

'Wow you replaced me really quick'

He has no idea how much he's hurt me.

Have you got any ideas on what I can text him to make him feel bad? Am hurting:( HUGS

He's been on the phone all hours talking to her just like we use to talk on the phone..it hurts he's moved on so quick.

What did I do that was so wrong? All I did was love him..I don't deserve to be treated like this, am a nice caring sweet, kind girl..why did he had to do this to me..ah it hurts so much, been crying every morning and night..

He says he wants to see me one more time so he can apologise and tell me the whole truth. Should I go? I don't want him back and I won't forgive him either just to listen give him the things he gave to me back to him and leave.

What do you think?

Thanks..xx

View related questions: broke up, cheated on me, my ex, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011):

Hey honey! *warm hug* don't blame yourself for someone elses inadequacies or decisions. You are a sweet, wonderful human being and if he was too blind to see that then it truly is his loss. He probably won't feel it today or tomorrow but he surely will and by that time it'll be too late.

As for meeting up with him, I think that is a terrible idea. All it will do is enlarge the wound and maybe even create new deeper ones. Whatever he has to say really is neither here nor there. You just need to concentrate on healing yourself and move on slowly but surely.

Best of luck honey. Know that you are perfect the way you are and you will get through this.

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A female reader, chickpea2011 United States +, writes (22 March 2011):

chickpea2011 agony auntHi,

Sorry that someone that you love hurt you...I know the feeling..

Shocked, confused, angry, pain is all part of the proccess, will take time & somedays will be better than others. Might take weeks, months..just be patience..remember you're not alone..

Pls, don't blame yourself, I believe you're sweet, caring, kind..I also, treated him like king, all I did is love him, I am also a honest person, calm, hate drama, I've never done anything to push him to lie to me..so I understand you.

Its his character, his selfish, something that you cannot change..that's just him & part of him..

As for your question:

YES!

1)Meet him (public place preferable, like coffee shop).

2)Make yourself look very nice!

3)Don't look sad in front of him. Show confidence, be strong, be mature, make him suffer, see what's his missing, make him realize that he made a mistake & now is too late

You need to return his things anyways, and you also deserve to know the truth.. I think you'll feel better knowing the truth, I also believe will help your healing proccess..I am proud of you, that you decided to move on..shows you're a smart, strong woman.. I know for sure you'll be ok, that you'll find someone that deserves you, that will respect you & love you the way you deserve...

DONT FALL FOR HIM AGAIN"

Don't think of him, this girl that you don't even know.. Concentrate in yourself, ur life, ur happiness, ur future..people give the same advice, but keep yourself busy, go out w/ur girlfriends, spend time w/family, concentrate in ur career or school. Don't waste time with him & his gf.. Its waste of time..they don't think of u, they're not in pain so why should you? I know you cannot help how you feel, but when u feel down, in pain, push yourself "out of it" don't cry anymore! You're very young, plenty of men will come along! When you meet someone special & be happy, you'll remember my advice & will see I am telling you the truth...

Hope you feel better soon, wish you the best luck!

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A female reader, amazingk United States +, writes (22 March 2011):

amazingk agony auntFirst question, how do you actually *know* not only that he's on the phone, but on the phone with her and for how long?

Anyways, I think the best revenge you could serve is to go on with your life living the best way you know how. I don't recommend meeting up with him. You don't need to know all the gory details of why he left you, what he couldn't stand about you, and who he's with now, etc. None of it's going to make you feel any better and all it's going to do is hurt you even more to hear that, besides the fact that it's not going to change the outcome of what's happened.

You may not know the whole truth, but you know what you need to know, namely that he doesn't want you anymore. Take that for what it is, derive your closure from it, and start the journey of moving on with your life. It's not easy, break ups never are, but there is definitely a great life ahead of you just beyond the hurt if you choose to go out and live it.

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A female reader, Honeygirl South Africa +, writes (22 March 2011):

Honeygirl agony auntHon, dont respond to this jerk. He will probably tell you a bunch of lies and make out that his cheating was all YOUR fault!

Ignore him, move on with your life, this guy is just not worth your energy or anymore of your tears!

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