A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My ex boyfriend gave me an STD - Herpes to be exact and I'm scared to tell him. I'm worried he won't believe me because he got tested and came out clean. But the only thing is that he took my virginity and now I have herpes? How do I tell him he gave me an STD? Please I really need your help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): iv had over a dozen sex partners before i started dating my current bf and he had over 20 before me ( a lot i know!) but after a couple months of dating and a few weeks after becoming sexually active something wasnt right so he went and got tested (without telling me) and he told me in person that he was posative for a STD, honestly that is the BEST way to get news like that, and the next day i went and got tested and treatment thank god we where able to get it taken care of and move on from it, he blamed me for it and i blame him for a while, but i never actually denyed the blame because i had never been tested or used protection with the past partners (lesson learned) but this experiance made me open my eyes and thank god he was as understanding and caring as he was, he could have been an ass and just left me after he found out but he took me to get tested, paid for it and it just brought us closer together, made me trust him 10x more. so coming from someone who had to hear the news... in person is the best way, and its never something someone wants to hear so be understanding if he flips out and says hurtful things, ignore it, its anger talking, u did ur part by telling him.. the best thing u can do, how he takes it and decides what to do after is up to him.
A
female
reader, TheFurFiles  +, writes (27 February 2011):
 How do you tell him? Easy, as Masquerade711 says, in person would be best, but if for some reason, he's hiding from you, then do it by phone, email, text and on his Facebook wall. OK, maybe NOT on his Facebook wall. That would just be cruel. Make sure he knows though and do it soon. And next time, wear a condom. A cat should never sit on a hot stove twice! XOXO Fern.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2011): If you have not been with anybody else then you certainly got it from your boyfriend! However he may not have known he had it, the effect on some people can be realy small. Herpes is not realy a huge problem, the biggest percentage of the population have it. Most people have three or four attacks, each one less serious than the last, eventually the immune system beats it and it never reappears again. However the virus is still in the body in the same way as the chicken pox virus is still in the body after you recover from that. It only gets passed on if you are having an attack.
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A
female
reader, masquerade711 +, writes (27 February 2011):
 I hate to play the disbelief card, but how do you know that he was tested? Did you go with him, or possibly see the test results yourself? I wouldn't outright accuse him of lying, but the evidence is right there on your skin that something is amiss.
According to the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention, you can get herpes even if your partner shows no signs of infection. This is why doctors will recommend that your boyfriend uses a condom until you've been with each other exclusively for at least 6 months. It's definitely something to be careful of.
As far as telling him that he's the one who gave it to you, I think it's as easy (or hard) as sucking it up and just telling him. If he's honestly unaware that he has it, he's endangering not only himself by not getting it treated, but any future sexual partners of his.
In the end, if you have had no other partners besides him that could've passed this on to you, he deserves to know. How you tell him is up to you, but I recommend in person, and being direct about it. It may also be a good idea to communicate that you have his best interests in mind by warning him.
masq
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