A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a girlfriend who I have a kid with and we've been together for 3.5 yrs. Our daughters 2.5 yrs old. Coming into the relationship she had kids with a prior bf and a relationship lasting 13 yrs. She swears up and down shes over him and has no feelings. Yet she has a tattoo on her back with his name on it and refuses to get rid of it. She says that when the time is right she will get rid of it. I tell her how it affects me and I want it gone and if she cared abotu me she would do something about it. More recently she has sent pictures of herself in her underwear covering her breasts to him, and the reason I found out is bc he (the ex) sent them in a text to me to make me jealous and show that he has control of her. Its easy to say leave the relationship, but when you have your first kid and you love ur child mroe than everything it makes it very difficult to do that. Anyone have some good insight or advice?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): It doesn't sound great. Do you know if it's a recent photo? If they were together that long, he may well have photos of her and just be messing with your head.
The only thing that you can do is sit down with her and ask what's going on. You may not like the answers, but at least you'll know where you stand.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (7 August 2011):
 It sounds like your girlfriend is playing you and not being 100% faithful. Sending semi-nude pictures of herself to an ex is not being true.
I am not sure what her motivations are in doing this. Perhaps she realizes your relationship isn't going as well and she is keeping her ex in the picture so she has something to fall back on or she is really a pawn in her ex's games.
Sadly, it appears you've gotten yourself into quite a pickle. If it wasn't for the kid, I'd tell you to find a woman who wants to be 100% with you and has some class. But being there is a child in the picture, I think you either have to endure / ignore her antics or move on.
Have you spoken to her about this, in a rational calm manner? Have you explained how it hurts you and your future together? Have you told you found out about the picture she sent and that you are concerned for her and your relationship?
Her answers / responses to your inquiries, I think, will give you a better sense as to whether you want AND can continue this relationship in a healthy manner.
I wish I had a better and more resolute answer for you, but it sounds like this woman needs a wake up call if she expects a healthy, happy future with you.
Good luck.
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