A
female
age
22-25,
*orrows
writes:hi, me and my guy are moving around for the past one year, it was all great initially, but now for the past one month things are getting worse, recently he said he needs a break for 3 months since he has some family issue and his exams are also coming , i trusted and left him alone, in this time he used to call me every night in our personal number which we use only to talk with each other. last week he has changed his official number which he has for his friends and official purpose and of course even i used to call to that number in day times since he has stopped taking our personal number to office( before he used to). and once he changed this official number he told he will give me the new one as soon as he gets it, i asked him a couple of times and he told he is yet to get one!! but came to know that he is already using a new number and has given it to all his friends, but he is calling me every night from our personal number!! then y he dint give his new official number to me?? is he avoiding and using me???? plz help
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a break, his ex Reply to this Question |
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female
reader, Ginalolabridga  + ♥, writes (5 November 2009):
 Only you will know that answer, good luck.
Gina
A
female
reader, peppie  +, writes (5 November 2009):
I think not giving you his new phone number says it all. Apparently the friends who have his number know that you don't. How degrading! Do you really want to be with a person who doesn't want you to have their phone number????
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A
female
reader, sorrows +, writes (5 November 2009):
sorrows is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes exactly Gina!!! even i understand that, but i dunno how to make him realise, first of all, if it is worth to make him realise or not.
And if it is, then how to make him realise and make him treat me the right way.
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (4 November 2009):
I think you need to seriously consider what is it your getting from him, he seems to be determined he will not give up certain friends for you or stop what he has now.
I think i would be thinking he is more than selfish and that is being polite to you!
It sounds to me you feel more for him than he does you, sorry!
Gina
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A
female
reader, sorrows +, writes (4 November 2009):
sorrows is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes, even i feel the same . but this guy never answers properly, he gives blame excuses like i cant stay alone in that city when he moves abroad. that sounds so stupid, i have stayed there alone for couple of years, if i tell that he replies now you are committed to me so i see your safety, i dont believe this. and this time when i met him, he swore with some emotional dialogues that he wont have contact with a female( i feel her charecter is not good, she is his school mate) i believed him as usual and left the matter, now she is again there in his face book and when asked he replied to me rudely that i cant change my friends just for your sake. fine!! but why he hell he has to swear to me that he will never have contacts. now its clear that this guy wont even keep up his words.He has told me ,he will not change his friends or lessen the time he spends with them ( well, most of them are only girls, i havent seen his chilling out much with guys!!) , if i am okay with it i can be with him, else i can find my way out!!! Gosh!! how rude that was, i was so emotionally attached to him but this guy gives importance only physical things of mine, even when he talks i find it so physical. should i move on( its very difficult for me!!)?
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (2 November 2009):
I don't know what his game plan is but one things for sure i think he has one that you are not aware of!
Does he seriously think he can go off for two years not see you and you both still be an item?
If i were you i would want to know the reasons why he does not want you to go settle in his city, surely that would make sense? and that way you both still could see one another.
I am like you i smell a rat here, i wonder if he is taking the coward's way out and just going to disappear into the shadows whilst keeping you hanging on?
Sorry i would not be happy at this either you need to get to the bottom of why he has changed his mind what is the real reason here ask him and don't stop till your satisfied with the answer, because i think there is something he is not telling you.
Gina
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (2 November 2009):
I dont know what his game plan is but one thigns for sure i think he nhas one that you are not aware of!
Does he seriously think he can go off for two years not see you and you both still be an item?
If i were you i would wnat to know the reasons why he does not wnat you to go settle in his city, surely that would make sense? and that way you both still could see one another.
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A
female
reader, sorrows +, writes (2 November 2009):
sorrows is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe one from his boss was for marriage and from ma friend is for dating. and yes i do feel insulting when he comments on each and everything i do and i told him on face.But Gina, now he is going beyond limits, it was decided long before that once i complete ma studies i will be going and getting settled in his city, now suddenly he is telling me that he is leaving abroad next year i.e 2011 for his masters and will return after couple of years so asking me not to come and get settled in his city but this same guy knew his masters plan even before and that time, he was telling me atleast 1 year v can be in live in relationship which will make our love grow stronger and moreover i can have good rapport with his family!!! but now when he asks me not to settle ther, i feel its fishy, i am vexed, but one thing he is sure of that he will marry only me but that doesnt mean whatever he does i can take it, when i wanted to talk about this to him, he never answered ma call, he started partying out.is he acting this way because he is sure of that i wont leave him, because the another day when i told him i wanna break up he started smiling and told" baby doll, we both always keep tellin we need a break, but ma honey's heart is so tender that when i plead to her, she will always become mine again, so we both will never depart baby so dont joke"!!! so is he acting this way because he is sure that i wont leave him and hence taking me for granted. if i stop talking to him for few weeks and if he still at the back of me, can v know that he is really in love with me and commited? whats your view on this Gina?
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (26 October 2009):
I am well thank you, i am glad things worked out fine for your meeting, i would just like to add i think he comes across as a little controlling? the fact he is bringing up your choice in food and dress, would insult me and i would have thought your old enough to make your own decisions on what you wear and eat.I don't understand the two proposals were they marriage ones or dates?I can see how he would be annoyed i think if your both going to be an item and just want it to be totally monogamous then the text thing with other men has to stop.I can understand why he got annoyed by his boss, i mean he works for him and it does not look good for him if you two are textign one another does it?You both need to communicate better i feel and try not to make one another feel envious by doing things that are not appropriate when two people are dating good luck.Gina
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A
female
reader, sorrows +, writes (26 October 2009):
sorrows is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Gina, How are you doing?? after a long time i met my guy, i have been to his place and stayed there for 2 days. it was quiet good, it is like he is loyal to me and not moving around with any other girl, an he also gave me some promises like we will be getting married soon, and i also met his family, they are quiet good, but again coming to the phone number issue, he accepted it he purposefully dint give me his number and justifies that he himself doesnt know why he acts so and even now he just calls me every night, i am sure that he can squeeze few minutes during day time and call me, but he is not doing that, and he states it as being monotonous!!! he is sweet to me but then he always comments on the dress i wear or my selection in food, basically my taste, and when the same is selected by some other girl, he says the dress or the thing is good!!! that really hurts nobody would like to be commented for each and every act of us!!! when I asked him about this, he says its just that he loves me and he doesnt want his girl to look or select something bad!!! i told him to stop commenting on me like that!!!
One more thing to be added, i got two proposals recently from my friends and i informed him that, one was from his boss and one from my online friend, this one line friend of mine sends me some romantic text and even my guy happened to read that when i went to his place, but he dint get that possessive, he just asked who is it, but when it came to his boss, he was really possessive to the extent of shouting at me and warned me to stop talking to his boss. i dont understand this, if he really loves me and possessive about me he should have reacted the same way for both the proposal rite? but he is always firm with the thought that he will marry only me and sleep and have intimate moments only with me, its just like he thinks being in a relationship means sharing only this kinda intimate moments, but i feel its more about caring for each other in day to day struggle, and i have told him this but he never understands it and i lose ma temper really so fast!!!
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (9 October 2009):
Your welcome.
Gina
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A
female
reader, sorrows +, writes (9 October 2009):
sorrows is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes sure, but it will take a couple of week time to meet him i suppose! hopefully everything gets clear! Thank you for your support Gina :)
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (9 October 2009):
Yes go and meet him sometimes when we are face to face with people we can see by their facial expressions and body language just exactly how they do feel about us, so by all means go meet him.
Loyalty is a must in any relationship without it i feel there will always be trust issues so you both have to agree loyalty comes first.
I would not just up and go to settle in his city for now it is always best to be 100% sure that is what you and he want!
Go meet up with him see how things go, keep me posted.
Gina
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A
female
reader, sorrows +, writes (9 October 2009):
sorrows is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGina, first of all i should thank you, you have been so supportive for me :) well we used to be over the phone 24/7, but it would be mostly he calling me, may be he needed some space to breath out, but the only thing i am scared of is he should not use this space and move around with other chick, because i think he is so happy going at office and really enjoying the life, i am ready to give him space and of course i am giving it to him but i want him to be there for me when i am in a bad situation, after all love is all about standing by each other in good and bad times. and i also want him to be loyal, by this phone issue i have really become suspicious. do you think i should go and meet him ( ours is a LDR) and should i go and get settled in his city ? will it show me as a needy woman? i dont want him to take me for granted!!
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (8 October 2009):
He is telling you he loves you and wants to be with you so i cannot fathom out why he would do this, unless it is for the reason your maybe pestering him too much on the phone?
I have no idea! what i would do is sit and discuss this with him maybe when you have all the cards on the table as it were he can be more open with you.
I would also tell him that you need to know why he gave everyone else the number before you?
Gina
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A
female
reader, sorrows +, writes (8 October 2009):
sorrows is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeaaa, i did apologized to him through mail, surprisingly he pinged me today and told he was busy in a family function thats why he was not able to talk to me yesterday and he will be busy for the next 2 - 3 days. i felt better, but still i am not able to trust him because he is yet to give me his number, even though it is a temporary one as he said, he should have given it to me( he has given this temporary number to his friends), i am so confused, but in this 2 years, we have fought many a times but every time we were back in each other arms at the end of the day. he is so confusing!! should i wait for him or move on? help me. is he loyal? or playing a coward game to braek up? i have asked him whether if he wanna break up and if so just let me know and move on, but he says he loves me like mad and wanna be with me at the same time he acts wiered like this. what is he upto?
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (7 October 2009):
Try not to take your temper out on him i can see why you would want to but please don't rise to this.
If you have insulted his family i would apologise and wait and see what else he has to say on the matter, try and keep calm!
Gina
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A
female
reader, sorrows +, writes (7 October 2009):
sorrows is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyea, i told him that i came to know and he told me that it is just his temporary number thats why he dint give and anyways he is calling me everyday thats why!!!! but if it is temporary number why would he be giving it to all his friends !!! i feel this is something fishy!! and on top of this he abused me yesterday and even i used words for him and i know he hates it( he has already told me not to use such words on him and his family) but that time by mistake i did it :( should i go and apologize or should I wait till he come back ?? plz help
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A
female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (7 October 2009):
He has told you he needs a break and i think he is trying to do this in a polite way but obviously you have gotten wind of this new number and i think that would tell me he really does not want you having it otherwise he would have given you it.
Ask him why? tell him you know of the new number and who has it and see what he says.
Gina
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