A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i would like some advice. i have been with my partner since i was 16 - am now 19. the thing is every time we have an argument he turns it around on him!! i have just got some bad news from the doctor - nothing too major but i called him at work and asked could he come with me tomorrow to see the doc and he was like no.. so i went quiet and didn't speak much.. next thing he is in a rant giving it 'im goin to go, dont start this, making me feel bad' and puts the phone down. next problem... his mum. she lets herself into the house when she likes and he thinks this is fine. i don't. she just comes in and says things like 'look at that mess' then complains. i am sick of the whole lot and him turning things around on me!! any advice would be great.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): thank you i will!
A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 It sounds like you two have a problem with power. Someone has to be right and someone has to be wrong and he ALWAYS wants to be right!In any relationship, you dont always have to agree with each other but also have to respect each other's opinions. That being said, I am wondering why he feels the need to be right? I suupose a lot of people find this to be a problem and he must learn that you are his equal and have every right to your own opinion..he doesnt have to agree either. So maybe you should tell him that you are bothered by the way he communicates with you and that you are open to his thoughts and you want him to remain open to yours.On to the mum...You both need to come to an agreement on this. You both need to agree that boundaries must be set and that you dont want her coming in, uninvited. It is not always fine for family members to walk in, unannounced. And her comment about the mess...that is a reflection on both of you, not just you (he is responsible just as your are). And if its a mess to her and clean to you then that is just a difference of opinion! Sounds like she is trying to be a mother to him as if he were a child, it is time for her to let go. All of this needs to be discussed with her and your partner and hopefully everyone can agree to set certain boundaries-even if he might be fine with her walking in, he has to value how you feel as well!I hope this helps and please keep us updated!
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