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Ever since we last had sex, he seems distant--help?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 June 2007) 3 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ngony amy writes:

Is my boyfriend right for me?

I've been going out with this guy for 3 months now--we have had sex twice; ever since we last had sex, he seems to be growing more distant away from me, but when I see him once a week, (which is not enough for me) he's all over me. Does he really love me?

It is complicated because he goes to boarding school and his parents don't approve of me. Does he really love me? Or is he taking me for a fool? He also lost his virginity to me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2007):

I hate to be so harsh, but you are being used for sex, the boy is losing interest in you because he got what he wanted to try on with you....and he is most likely losing respect as well....I personally think you are too young to be giving yourself away like this to a boy, and his parents don't approve of you, most likely because they know he is having sex with you, and don't really approve of that.

It is different for girls and boys, girls have the mistaken belief that they have to give a guy sex in order to make him lover her...if he loved you, he would be happy just to be in your company a lot, without the sex....guys on the other hand can behave as if they love you to get sex and then they distance themselves because they don't want the relationship part of things....

In the future I would not have sex with a guy for a long time, until I knew that he wanted me.....I hope that you are using protection and are on the birth control pill or the patch or something like that as you don't want an unwanted pregnancy on your hands at 16, or 18....

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A female reader, loops United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2007):

I had a relationship like this when I was the same age as you. I was absolutely besotted with someone 5 years older than me,but he would only want me around once maybe twice a week and then it was only for sex. I would give this guy a wide birth, try telling him you dont want sex today, or asking to do something specific where he cant have sex with you ( goinng out somewhere or being around other people) and see how he reacts to this. If he becomes very distant or avoids it, or better still complains then you have your answer and leave him for someone who actually wants you and not your body. I hope it works out because ive been there and i know how hard it is when faced with that from someone

good luck. Loops

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A male reader, Jamer70 United Kingdom +, writes (1 July 2007):

Jamer70 agony auntIm sorry to say but it seems like this guy may have used you. Try and get in contact with him and tell him you want to see him more.

If he doesnt move on from the jerk and find someone more worthy.

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