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Emailed a co-worker my feelings for her after she quit. It's been seven days.

Tagged as: Crushes, Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 February 2015) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2015)
A male India age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hello, I had a girl in my office to whom i love, I was never ever able to tell her about my feelings and one day she left the company and after she left i still have feelings for her. So i wrote a love letter after a one year since she left the company, expressing my feelings for her and sent it through Facebook message box. It's been 7 days since i sent a letter,but haven't got any response yet. We never chatted and we both were in different team. I just use to see her and she was aware that i use to watch her and like her.

Please advise, what should i do now

View related questions: co-worker, facebook

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2015):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you all so much for providing your responses.Your responses made me feel better. i am very shy talking to girls because of my background, as i studied most of my academics in boys school/colleges and may be because of this i may was not able to express myself clearly to her. To be detailed, I watched her and observe her for over a year time, where i tried to talk to her and try to propose her as well, but i always failed because of some other reasons.

Well, i know it took me a lot of time to send her a message and expressing my feelings. If i was not sure that i hold true feelings for her than i wouldn't sent her a message. I just express my feelings to her in a letter, where i mentioned things which i liked about her and made me fall for her. I explained her all the things which i use to do for her and why i was hesitant of not approaching her before.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (22 February 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI think you are mistaken INFATUATION for LOVE. You are infatuated BY her, not in love WITH her, as you really DON'T know her as a person.

If you hear nothing from her, and she GETS ON her FB, I think you have a clear answer, SHE isn't interested, but she doesn't know how to tell you.

So my advice? Leave her be. Move on. And next time you "like a girl and Like to WATCH them, why not TALK to them? Get to know them? Why wait till they have left?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2015):

Does the message say "read"? You know, it usually tells you if the other person read the message.

There is really nothing you can do. It can be shocking when you get a random love confession from an old co worker. Even if she were single and interested, it is something she may not know how to reply to. She may need to discuss it with her friends first, get some pointers.

There's also the possibility she is involved with somebody. Or that she is not interested. She may even think it is a joke. Or perhaps she hasn't even seen it yet.

But, don't fret. It is extremely flattering to know that you are loved and desired. So, regardless of her situation, I am sure she is very flattered.

Just give her time. I am sure she will respond at some point.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2015):

You've got to be realistic about your feelings. You do not love her, but you were infatuated. You write that you never spoke and worked apart - writing a letter to her one year after she left, when she barely knew you,'is enough to freak anyone out.

You might like a girl, or develop a strong crush but until you spend time together and get to know someone and the person they are you can't be in love with them.

She's not interested, it's been a week and you've heard nothing. If you liked her then learn from this, move on and the next girl you like you need to ask out for lunch or a coffee. Waiting a year after last seeing someone to confess feelings is too late, and the feelings aren't true because you've spent more time IMAGINING being with her than actually being with her.

Don't throw the word love around, without actually dating someone and both of you being exclusive to each other then love doesn't come into it. It will scare people away.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (22 February 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt I'd let it be. Silence can be very eloquent at times, O think her is . One year is quite a long time particularly between people who were never that close or that friendly to begin with.

Apparently, alas, she does not return your feelings / interest.That's disappointing for you, but, what you want to do ? what you can do ? stalk her into accepting your " love " ? ( ... love is a big word for someone you basically do not even know... ). And for all you know, she may already be in a relationship- in fact she might have been in one even when she worked in your company. So she knew you liked her - and ?... that's not her problem. Every even moderately attractive girl may have SEVERAL guys liking her ( or,liking her looks, which is not exactly the same thing ). She is not obliged to return everybody's attraction.

Yes, I guess it would have been nicer of her acting in the old fashioned way and writing you back something polite like " Thank you , it was sweet of you saying those things, I appreciate BUT.... " On the other hand, maybe she did not appreciate this blast from the past: one year with no contact whatsoever, and even before you never even chatted once : she might have been a bit freaked out by receiving a love letter from, basically, a stranger and did not want to seem to be encouraging you or giving you hope by sending you a reply.

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