A
female
age
36-40,
*wesomeButAwkward
writes:Here I am again. I've developed this ridiculous crush on someone I think is showing interest (he's a coworker - same company but not in the same department, just works on the same floor) * we always make eye contact* he gives me shy smiles (usually half smiles, they're sort of goofy and absolutely adorable) * we've had one conversation at lunch (he was sitting alone, I asked if I could join, (he was almost done with his meal but sat with me for about 20 minutes))* he takes the long way around the floor to use the bathroom, and I sometimes catch him looking back towards me...These are all good signs, but he hasn't tried to make much conversation with me. I've been in similar scenarios before. Really cute dude shows signs of interest but... nada. Why? I don't know for sure if he's seeing anyone. He doesn't wear a ring on his finger and with the amount of sexual tension I feel, it seems to me that he is single (also he made no mention of a girlfriend in the convo we had at lunch when I asked what he did over the weekend.)What can I do to show him I'm interested in him without pushing it? (since we're at work) and what can be said of this sort of behavior? Finally, when is it a good time to move on? Thanks, everyone!
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at work, co-worker, crush, move on, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2018): He's probably attached. And just harmlessly flirting. Or maybe not so harmlessly.
Point is when a guy isn't making a move, there is a good reason. He isn't interested enough or already in a relationship.
A
female
reader, AwesomeButAwkward +, writes (28 February 2018):
AwesomeButAwkward is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all of your responses! I really needed some perspective on it, everything is so much more difficult to see when you're in the thick of it.
I agree with all of you to a certain degree and some of you brought up really great points that I hadn't considered. Your responses are MUCH appreciated.
If there's anything to update here, I will do so, but as for now, I will try to maintain a professional distance and (since my contract is almost up there) see if anything happens after I'm outta there!
Thanks again =)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2018): Hi. Your post caught my attention because it's exactly the same situation I'm going thru. It's almost like I wrote it :) It's been going on for close to a year and still nada. So not sure what's going on with these guys.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 February 2018):
 I have to agree that keep your work place "romance-free" basically, don't shit where you eat.
Let's say he is just a HUGE flirt but has a GF or wife - no ring doesn't mean SQUAT these days. I know more married folks who DO NOT wear a wedding ring then those who do. Myself included. And I don't have the ring off to try and snare unsuspecting people into thinking I'm single. My ring was stolen when we had a break in and my replacement I got for Christmas has YET to be resized.
I'd take all that energy and put it into your work performance and to looking for romance OF the work place.
It is very easy to mistake a flirt and friendly person for interest.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2018): try to understand that we are living in a time that just saying hello in a weird way can be considered sexual harassment and can cost a guy his job.
you may want to take it outside the work place and suggest a drink after work. then take it from there.
i'm sure he's just covering his behind.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (27 February 2018):
 Don't make the mistake of dating a co-worker. You'll be stuck in a miserable situation if it doesn't work out, you'll get a terrible reputation at work when word spreads and your credibility will suffer. Keep things strictly professional at the place of work; look at dating in other places.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (27 February 2018):
 Stop leading with your "sexual tension". You're like a "horny man" becoming infatuated with anyone who looks good to you. There's likely a reason why he hasn't initiated anything and, whilst I'd sometimes suggest the woman just makes a move, you need to control your hormones and infatuations. Besides, it's a bad idea to date someone whilst you work together, in case things go sour and you end up having to avoid each other 5 days a week.
Consider a doctor's check up for raging hormones, then try speed dating or similar to find someone outside of work who you can build something with based on more than "sexual tension" that you keep experiencing.
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