A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:hi. i'm in a little bummer here... ok here goes, i kinda like this guy (since childhood days actually) but we only see each other every 3 years and he's 2 years older than i am and i don't know if he will or does like me, but then i met this other guy at an archery place once (we didn't actually talk to each other much, don't even know how old or what his name is)and then the next time we saw each other (i kinda liked this guy already) it all most seemed as if he was "flirting" (my dad also said that the guy looked at me), but now it has been let's say two years about since i saw him because we couldn't go to the place for time and money reasons. so why am i still thinking about him and here's the catch... i didn't have a bf in my life (i also think it's because i'm in a "private school", only some boys later on began to look more at me (i'm 14). also like to play or chat more often to boys than girls since childhood (long story),any advice? (confused of what to do) :( ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2014): Thank you for the replies. I'll try to interact more with girls and such, I do but since I was little and had friends some girls just uses me or is mean towards me or just isn't my type. I do have two friends that's girls and is sisters, but I rarely see them and I only talk to them once in a while because most of the time I wait for their reply (emails). So it isn't that I don't want to talk to girls, I do but I guess that I'm afraid and anyway the girls near my place is some of those I mentioned above. It's sometimes just more fun to play and/or talk with boys than with girls. It may be weird for some but it's true. :) (and I'll try to get out more often AND think less about boys), I know I'm not the only one in the world that is going through this but I can get rid the "problem". :) xoxo
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (29 June 2014):
 At your age, it's all about obsessive thought patterns, hormones and getting fixated on people in a major way... Girls in particular I was an extreme obsessive at your age! At this stage it's futile to dwell on "does he/ doesn't he like me?" From seeing someone every now and again.... The more you chat and daydream about him, the more time you're emotionally investing in him, and then you're going to end up obsessed about getting "his" approval, whoever he is at the time... Dwindling life away, ruminating over why a guy isn't pursuing you...
No disrespect but at your age boys aren't something you need in life... At fourteen, you're normal, but like wise owl said, now's a time to start becoming a well rounded person, developing your morals, interpersonal skills, emotional intelligence- setting yourself goals (no matter how small) and learning how to overcome challenges, accept failure and open your eyes to the vastness of the world... Try doing something too many 14 year olds don't do, start a new hobby , something that's always appealed to you, and take it step by step. Find good, compassionate, easy going friends, build a raft, find a pond and mess about... Lol.
Don't take life too seriously, and keep your eyes open to what life, the world has to offer...
And remember you don't want any older guy that thinks it's ok to pursue a girl your age... Older men will KNOW how to play your emotions to get what they want- despite how sweet they may seem. Guys your own age see you as a sexual plaything.
Get out there n take care :) x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2014): You are only 14. You are going through your puberty. At that age you fixate and crush on guys. Guess what, that is totally normal!!! It's healthy and means you are growing from a little girl, and developing emotional feelings toward boys.
It starts out as just crushing all over the place. You've fixated on a guy that fits your dream-guy. We all meet or briefly run into a really great person we just can't seem to get out of our minds. I know you do exaggerate a little, going back two years. If you are 14 now, you were only 12!
You need to make friends with boys and girls. Stop day-dreaming so much. You're spending too much of your time living inside your head, and not enough enjoying being a teenager. You have to participate in activities that will help you to make friends and burn-off some energy.
You have to stimulate your brain with all sorts of things. You have to be a well-rounded person. Girls who spend all their time just thinking about boys end up in trouble. It's boys, boys, boys and nothing else. That's when it becomes "unhealthy!" Always wanting attention from boys will draw bad-boys. That's when your dad will get on your case. Having all sorts of friends, helps you learn more more about "people;" and how to get along with different personalities.
Forming friendships and interacting with people socially is how you prepare for the time when you will be allowed to start dating. Not obsess over thoughts in your mind about some guy who doesn't know you exist.
You may have friends, but you don't know how to have fun with them. You spend time alone just thinking and thinking.
Your mind is too young to be fixed on one person for that long; when he isn't even in your life. You are isolating yourself from other girls. Why? Figure it out.
Chat and make friends with other girls. Your brain needs something else to focus on. Try reading and find a craft to express your creative side. That will challenge your concentration, and draw your thought-processes away from obsessive-thinking. In simpler-words, try being your age and a little less boy-crazy.
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