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Does this prostitute have feelings for me or is she just using me for money?

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 May 2010) 21 Answers - (Newest, 11 December 2010)
A male South Africa age , *ave2rock writes:

I have meet a prostitute and enjoy her company immensely, her being a prostitute does not bother me, i am married not happly married, and prefer her company allthough it is on occaisionally, i think she likes me. the only thing when we go out out her body language does not conform to happiness, she might just be using me finacially to meet her needs, I just wander how one can distiguish between her really usuing me or liking me?IM 53 and she is 39 this might be a problem as well.

View related questions: money, prostitute

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010):

Hi, all these answers are interesting, your question my friend is being asked by all men. paying a prostitute for her company is the easiest way to get out of loneliness, thats when you don't have anybody, but my friend you have your wife why go that route.

i am a single guy and don't have time to meet someone, i am going out with a prostitute but the conflicting part is till now i didn't have sex with her and she never asked for money, we kiss and we hold hands and stuff, eventually i know she is a prostitute but i don't know what to do, i am not in love with her but i like her company, and till now i dont know if she likes going out with me or she is going out with me hoping that one time i will pay for her sex.

What i am trying to say is that not all prostitutes are professionals, they are human beings and they have feelings but u will never know if they are being honest with you or not.

go back to your family my friend, to your wife, and try to fix things up cause your wife is the only person who will be wanting to spend time with you without asking for anything in return, simply because she cares about you, and if she didn't she would have never married you.

good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010):

IF you were requesting an hour of her time and she spent 2 or 3 or 5 hours with you with no expectation of more money....at least then I could say maybe she enjoys spending time with you and maybe that's something that could be built on over time.

But if you are paying her for ALL the time you spend together, it's not personal just business.

good luck

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010):

she is using you big time mate: get the fu*c out!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2010):

When she really likes you she will tell you not to pay.

If she is using you she will con you into retaining her services for a fee with the hope that it will develop into a real relationship where you don't have to pay her to have sex with her, which will never really happen.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2010):

This is a really sad situation. Why do you need to do this and why do you want to have a relationship with two women? If you feel emotionally unfullfilled with your wife, is it because she knows intuitively that you are unfaithful? If she is frosty or sexually unavailable then is it because you are not properly engaged in your marriage? Why don't you get divorced or put your energies into sorting your marriage? Going to a prostitute is lazy, and will ultimately be very damaging to you because she is a PROSTITUTE (ie gives the most precious of gifts away for money)....trust me if you ask her if she fancies a shag and your not paying you will find out how loving she is.

You sound like a lonely lost little boy, but you won't be happy until you sort out your morals, relationships, and head. I would suggest that you use the money you are giving to a prostitute and spend it on therapy.

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A male reader, bournedout United States +, writes (19 May 2010):

She is not "using you" -- she is fulfilling her side of the bargain. As noted by others here, you are paying her for her time plus the sexual encounter. This does not mean she's "using" you any more than a therapist "uses" you by pretending to be your friend for an hour. This does not make her a dishonest person. She probably is very nice, and may find you to be a nice client. But please don't read more into it. Many providers even have boyfriends (who may or may not know about this part of her life). Stay safe!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2010):

atre you still having sex with your wife? how do you explian to her that you want to replace her with a prostitute. i think you have blinkers on thinking that this woman has any feelings for you- you are her customer and as long as you pay for it , you will get it. plse do not think you are her only customer

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (18 May 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntMarieclair,

If you think ,I am judging her, you are entitled to your opinions.

One buys sex and the other sells sex.That is my observation and they are birds of the same feathers. If you called that judging , then I have nothing to say.

"Why would a prostitute or any woman be interested in a man who is a cheater?"

That is a very good question.

A woman can be a wife,a mistress or a lover .She can play those three roles . When she is a wife, she will hate the mistress and the lover.

Some woman have no choice and cannot marry their man but are willing to be his mistress . That is the paradox of women.

Why would she want to be a mistress or lover of a man who is married? Is not the man a cheater?

Not every woman will reject a cheater.Sometimes they are tricked or conned by those man with sweet promises that they will leave their wife.

You are making assumptions and generalizing and not every woman is the same. Just because you are against cheaters, does not mean that every woman in the world will think like you .

I think the one that judged me naive is even a bigger naive than me. It takes a bigger fool to call another a fool.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (17 May 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntAre you planning to end your marriage anyway? If you are so unhappy, you might as well be single so you can start a new romance with someone who is available.

Having exactly zero experience with prostitutes, I can only guess at how you could tell if she likes you, she really really likes you. Do you go out on dates where you do not pay for sex? You might buy the meal and the wine and pay for the parking or taxis, but you do not then give her extra cash for sex? You know, like a regular date?

It seems to me that if things worked out and you would be with her, and she with you, both exclusive to each other, would you be able to trust her? That would be my concern for you.

Why is she in prostitution? Does she have plans for another career or does she plan to retire when she's made enough money?

Basically, I think you need to recognize that part of what you are paying her for is her company and her showing nothing but enjoyment at being in your presence. If she was a lousy actress, she'd make a poor prostitute, it seems to me.

I guess the trick would be to see if she would go out on a regular old 'date' with you, where you pay for the meal/film/bungee-jumping/whatever activity you do and then go home and have sex without any question of payment. What do you have to lose by asking her?

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (17 May 2010):

raiders agony auntI would be more concern about your wife, you are cheating on her and paying a prostitute for these services. You are taking money away from your home to pay for sexual pleasure.

Prostitute do have feeling can't argue that but while you are paying her for her attention you will never know if the feeling are mutual.

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A male reader, Universe Man United States +, writes (17 May 2010):

What a lively and interesting discussion!

The one thing you can count on is that if she is human, she is conflicted. It is a biological fact that regular sex with someone tends to create feelings of love, so if she feels any natural attraction to you at all, she probably has some feelings of affection toward you. She's maybe not specifically looking for a customer to sweep her off her feet but everyone wants to be in love and no one wants to be a prostitute forever.

As to your specific question-how to tell what her true feelings are? Good luck, brother! Prostitution is the oldest profession, and the mystery of a woman's mind is even older than that. But I think body language is important and if that says she not happy with you, then she probably isn't.

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A female reader, BunnyTee United States +, writes (17 May 2010):

BunnyTee agony auntAll morality and preachiness aside, you're paying her to like you-among other things- when she's with you, right? Sounds like you're getting what you're paying for. It's a BUSINESS transaction. Keep it that way.

I trade stocks, just because I make my client a profit does not mean I like him or her! I'm doing what I get paid to do.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (17 May 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntIf she is using you , she will check out the size of your wallet and hit it until you feel the pain .

If she likes you , she would be generous with you and provide the things you need. She does not need your money because this vocation pays well.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (17 May 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntProstitutes have better understandings of men . They can accept that men are that way and sex is nothing to men because they have no emotional attachments about it.

Her business is selling sex for money and he maybe her client but it does not matter to her because she knows that men needs sex.

To say that she will not respect him is only your opinions. You may not find a man who visits a hooker as a respectful man but from a hooker's viewpoints, whats so fundamentally wrong about visiting a hooker?

Since she also sleeps with other men for money. They are birds of the same feather.

If they found love in each other, their relationship is just like any normal relationship between a man and a woman.

You may have your morals about men but it does not mean that hookers should also have the same puritanical morals as you have.

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (17 May 2010):

TimmD agony auntLaura has made a good point. If she likes you or is looking for more than her prostitution based relationship, she will show signs otherwise. She will offer to help pay for things, etc. If she truly loves you, she will simply stop prostituting to be with you.

There is another option. Prostitutes sometimes develop feelings for some of their clients. They tend to gravitate more towards those clients because they feel close and comfortable with them. She may have others like you.

Bottom line, if she liked you that much.... she'd stop being a prostitute and stop asking for money from you.

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A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (17 May 2010):

bharat mehta agony auntProstitution is a trading of 'sex', like other trading, sex is also trading, and it can be good and bad trading...but it is TRADING...It is a service to customer... customer can be a good or bad from the stand point of 'sellers'...The language of love and admiration is totally irrelevant here.

It is quite possible, that 'prostitute' may have husband, friend, or even lover... and they may share true love and respect for each other without money. A prostitute can earn money and expense it for her husband or friend or for her children if she may have.

A prostitute is perfectly human.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (17 May 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntSome girls are forced into prostitution's because they have no other choice and after being in that trade, they would hope to meet someone who would give them a better life.

It is not naive because there are men who are willing to marry prostitutes. Men who truly loves them and are willing to sacrifice their life for them.

Maybe, it does not happen in your world or you have a very bias opinions of those prostitutes.

No one wants to be a prostitute for life. When they have made enough , they would want to quit.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (17 May 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntA prostitute is also a human being with feelings. She could be looking for the right man to come along and take her out of prostitution. She knows that she cannot works forever as a prostitute.

If she likes you , she would pay sometimes while on a date or she will have sex with you without charging you .

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A female reader, Christine82 United Kingdom +, writes (17 May 2010):

She may well like you but she is more interested in your wallet than your heart mate. it's not up to me to judge you but whether I think prostitution or not, she isn't looking for love in you.

Sorry but good luck

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2010):

she's only interested in your money. get away from her and try buying your wife a small gift with that money.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2010):

even if you are not happily married, you should not betray your wife. you should first break up with her before you meet other women.

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