New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login244938 questions, 1084216 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

Does this guy seem easily upset or unstable or did I actually do something wrong?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Friends with Benefits, Online dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 July 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 September 2018)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

What did he really want?

I met a guy online about 2mts ago, after we met he was obvious to me he was interested in casual. We hit it off and I was attracted to him. As a single mum I was ok with casual. We met several times and slept together, he would also text daily, sometimes he'd want to sext too. I never once thought he wanted more. I didn't expect it to last very long and continued to have my online profile up. He had taken his down before we met. One evening he sent me a text asking if I was keeping my options open, I told him I didn't know what he wanted and he asked what I wanted. I told him I was ok with casual but did want to get to know him and see where things went. He just agreed.

As the week went by there was no suggestions to meet it was all just texting which was beginning to get on my nerves. He never seemed interested in my life or delved deeper. He would talk about himself more. He had apparently been sexier armed for 9 yrs and he lived in. Shared house. Which I had been to. If I suggested anything with him he had a excuse, no bank card or his landlord was in so he couldn't have me over.

I got annoyed and told him to cut the BS, that we either see each other and do what we set out to do or we move on.

He turned it all on me saying I never make the effort, he always innitates everything and accused me or not being interested and giving him a hard time over nothing.

He finally asked me to meet but said he was ill and would let me know later that day, I waited all day until 8pm, he simply texts and says he annoyed he can't see me bc he's still ill. I ignored him as I was frustrated. The next day he sends me a massive rant, saying how childish I am for sulking bc he was F ing ill, sorry to trying to see me, sorry for not wanting me to catch it. I told him I thought he was playing me and brushing me off. He told me I was mental and had gone psycho on him for giving him crap about him not being interested and that he was done with the drama and I should go find a guy I believe.

I've not heard from him since.

Does this guy seem easily upset or unstable or did I actually do something wrong?

View related questions: move on, text

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2018):

Was he same age ? Because this isnt nice at all and the way of action its imature

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2017):

He`s an idiot.

And he's trouble. You handled everything very good and reasonable. Be glad he's gone. Do not let him back into your life, he will create chaos and stress. If you have kids, he is not a healthy person for them (or you) to be around.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2017):

Sounds like he's playing you. he wants all the love from you and didn't like that you were being like many men often are = always keeping their options open. So, he's created crappy drama for you so you're always thinking about him and the way he's doing it, is manipulatively and cruelly. he's keeping you unhinged. You mention "psycho", hmmm, take note!

Who needs that?

he's disrespecting your life and your honesty (something he is not being.) I could be wrong, but I'm a wise puss.

Maybe concentrate on your child/ren and teach them how to spot men like this or how they shouldn't be like that kind of man. And Love yourself and God. It really matters these days, don't give yourself to a man/men you don't trust.... Ever!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2017):

He isn't interested in you.

He just satisfied his sexual curiosity.

And gave you the run around because he had his fun.

And I guess it just wasn't good enough or worth his while to continue.

Game over.

Ps. Tell him to say hello to his wife or girlfriend because I guarantee you, he already has one.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2017):

You know he's full of BS, so why bother? If he's in your age-group, why does he behave and talk like a frat-boy?

I have no use for someone saying I've got mental-issues and flakes-out every-time I suggest meeting. Poop or get off the pot! Smells like a girlfriend's hidden somewhere!

I don't think advice on this site is necessary. Employ your common-sense. Kick is sorry-ass to the curb. THE END!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (22 July 2017):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly? Who cares?

It was two months of a casual "thing" that turned into drama because neither of you was willing to WANT more. While I DO think it's a SMART thing to take things slow... you two added sex to the mix before getting to know each other. I think in his eyes SEX meant you were exclusive and becoming a couple then you suggested to be casual and see where things go. It's confusing. It's blurred lines. It's vague.

As for him getting upset that you STILL had your profile up after a short time of seeing each other? Well, it goes back to HIM thinking there was more going on than YOU apparently thought. (and I will quote you: " I didn't expect it to last very long and continued to have my online profile up.". So you didn't REALLY want anything beyond casual from the start? Or were you trying to be cautious and non-pressure?

I don't think he is someone for you, thus the "who cares!?".

Try again. But DECIDE beforehand if you are LOOKING for a long term partner or looking for someone to fill in the gaps here and there, nothing serious. And then BE up front when getting to know a guy.

If all you want is someone to talk to, go out with occasionally and have sex with, then really... being upset that they get sick (or fake being sick) is just not right. That is a bit dramatic I think. If you want CASUAL then lower your expectations.

And lastly, OP - you GET what you give. IF the guy is right for you. If it feels one-sided let it go. Whether it's leaning towards "your" side or "his".

You don't sound like you were all that interested in this guy so it can't be a big loss that he blocked you.

I think the BIg issue in your post is the lack of concise communications. I think the two of you were not on the same page (even if he said he agreed to casual) nor in the same "book" (so to speak). And then THIS is what you get... a clusterfuck of a WHAT just happened?!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "Does this guy seem easily upset or unstable or did I actually do something wrong? "

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.0312776999999187!