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Does she view me as a friend or relationship material ?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 August 2006) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

Well my problem is that i've recently fallen for this girl big time who I've met through her being a friend of a relative. Over the past few weeks, we have met up 7 or 8 times (as mates), we text, and speak on msn for hours and hours. Sometimes on msn it'll be like "shall we meet up" spur of the moment and we do. We get on so well and i personally feel there is chemistry there, as we always laugh so much and get on sooo well, but she also has a serious side and has confided in me personal stuff that she has never been able to tell anyone (even her family), so its clear she trusts me which is very important and means a lot to me, she also fills me with compliments like sayin how brilliant i am and what a wonderful person i am and she always says compliments about my appearance and pats me and so on. The problems are that she is 17 and I'm 22 and therefore I wonder if she looks at me as a "big brother" or maybe the thought of a relationship hasnt crossed her mind. But we have become very close in a short space of time. I know there is a boy (her age) who likes her and she likes him but she isn't in love with him or anything like that. I somehow feel she is different with me compared to how she is with others. I don't know whether she suspects I like her, or does she not have a clue, should I say something? I feel I have to cos I think about her like 24/7, but I just need some (lots!) of opinions or advice, please reply, thanks

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A female reader, lolaking +, writes (2 September 2006):

Well I can let you know that I have been in a similar situation (the the tables were turned becuase I was the girl felling that way about an older boy).

As I read your question, I couldnt help but get the feeling that you have been put into that "friend" category...which sucks because you can hardly ever get out of it! If I were you I would work at growing the friendship as far as you can. Good friends are very hard to find. Im sure she alreday knows or feels that you like her and if she has not made any sign or move towards trying to take it a step further by now, it will not happen...at least not with that other boy in the conversation.

I do agree with the first answer that you should talk to her...but I know how hard that is to do. People arent stupid though and she already feels the vibe that you are giving off. So I dont know if tabeling the question will give you the answer....in my experience it usually pushes me away from a guy who I love as a friend but find out they want more.

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A female reader, angel frm above +, writes (31 August 2006):

angel frm above agony aunti think it is sweet how you to are getting on so well. what you need to do is talk to her about the way you feel the only way you are going to find out how she sees you is to ask her. She may only see you as a big brother becuase you get along so well. She mite have different feelings to you but dont be to upset because it is better to have loved and lost then to never of loved at all. Make sure you stay friends with her if you to dont get together because what you have i think is something reli special and it is somethin you should hold onto forever i wish you all the luck.

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