A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So can a man and woman be friends or does sex always get in the way. I have this guy I chat with a couple times a week when we see each other. Small talk has turned intimate and he asks a lot of questions wanting to know me. He also recently told me all about his flaws--just starting listing all the negative things about him as though he was testing me to see how I would react. Also, more importantly he has a GF who he lives with, but continues to have these talks with me every week twice a week. He has even talked about how guys and girls can't be friends because of the sex thing. But then why does he continue chatting it up with me? Why does he keep wanting to be my friend if he doesn't think it is possible without the sex thing. I can't tell if he is just sizing it up--trying to see where I will go with this. I wonder if I should just stop talking with him altogether, but I don't want to because I thoroughly enjoy his company. And, yes, I do want to have sex with him! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (30 December 2010):
 He's flirting. Bad news as he's in a relationship. He's getting his desired outcome though.
Are male/female friendships possible. Yup. I personally think that one party often develops deeper feelings for the other though. Sometimes those feelings are mutual, and sometimes not. I would say that feelings get in the way more than sex. Sex only gets in the way if it happens.
One thing I truely believe though is men don't actively seek friendships with women who they aren't interested in sexually.
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (30 December 2010):
 Stay away from him. He's trouble. Guy and girl friendships can be very complicated and there's no easy answer except to say each scenario is different. However, in your case this all seems very forced by him. If he was really looking for only friendship he wouldn't even bring up sex. He wouldn't bring up his flaws, and he wouldn't bring up his girlfriend as an "obstacle". He's looking for something else, it's that simple.
A real friendship between a guy and a girl isn't forced. It's not intentional. It just happens. And if either has a partner of their own and they still just want to remain friends, extreme caution is taken on both sides. This guy has brought up sex so it's on his mind, and clearly it's on your mind too and I'm sure he can sense that.
If you continue any kind of a relationship will him you will only have trouble in the future. Trust me. Just stay away from him. You don't need to get in the middle of a love triangle.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010): He's interested. He might be interested in you just for sex, or he might be interested in you on a deeper level, it's hard to know. Since he's telling you his flaws, he's probably interested on a deeper level.
Personally, I think whether sex gets in the way between a male/female friendship is completely up to the woman. I don't have any female friends (true friends, not the ones I pretend like I'm friends with for business or whatever) that I don't want to have sex with. If I wouldn't have sex with a woman, I won't be friends with her, it's just that simple. However, I have a lot of female friends that I haven't had sex with because they're not interested in that (as far as I know).
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A
male
reader, pitcrew3800 +, writes (30 December 2010):
 NO there can be friendship with or without sex. I have plenty of female friends that I have never messed around with.
BUT I have a couple friends that I have fooled around with, and 2 that I have had sex with but still talk to all but 1 of them. That's only due to her now husbands hating me.
My honest opinion on it...
#1 Just if you are going to mess with a friend make sure u are willing to risk a falling out if it does go wrong.
#2 This guy shouldn't be someone to consider beings he taken.
If he's willing to cheat so easily who's says your not the only besides his GF he is having sex with.
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