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Does my teacher fancy me?

Tagged as: Dating, Forbidden love<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 February 2007) 16 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2010)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey,

I need help! My teacher is a bit older than I am and I need to know if he likes me or not. He always talks to me and I usually talk to him, but if I don't he asks me why I'm not talking to him. He comes out to my locker to talk to me and always looks at me when he's talking to someone and I walk by. Or he'll bump me as he walks by and touch my arm or something. Does he like me?

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A female reader, you  United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2010):

yes he likes you it shows he wants to spend more time with you by walking up to you and talking or touching your arm , you can take this to ways if you like him touch his arm and tall more and more to him every day or you can stop talking to him and when he comes up to your locker just run anyway don't put your hand up in his lessons , don't make eye conact and forget it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008):

YUCK!!

Looks to me that this teacher is one CREEP!!!

How old is this guy?

Even if he is closer to your age then he is still a teacher.

He should know better then to go around targeting pupils!

If you mind his attentions then tell him to stop bothering you.

Marnie x

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008):

i have the same probolem my teacher is 30 and im 14 she keeps tuching me

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007):

watch what you say hes probly just being friendly thts his job thts what he gets paid to do if a girl teacher done it you wouldent fink they fancied you unless there a lesbo

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2007):

Teachers who pursue their students for relationships are breaking the law. I'm not sure if you actually intend to do so as well with him, but if he is interested in you in 'that way', then I'd just watch it.

Regardless of what everybody in the modern age says, there are lots-- and I mean, lots-- of grey areas around these sorts of subjects.

I don't believe there is anything wrong with your teacher fancying somebody one or two years younger than him. My parents are 9 years apart and were married for 20 years. That doesn't make my father a paedophile, though.

But the problem with this is that he's a teacher and you are his pupil. He is there to care for you as a secondary parent or even guardian model, is is what's going to get him in deep donkey-poop if he starts coming onto you.

My advice to you is to let him clearly know that you just want to be friends. If he is interested in you, hopefully this will push him back and if he isn't, no harm done, right?

However, if your concerns become very great you might want to confront him about it without telling him off but making him back off. But telling another member of staff such as the head teacher, or a parent will probably just end up in embarrassment either way and him losing his job, which I'm sure you don't want.

Though, if you DO want to be with him, then you two can always wait until school is finished for you and you're legally allowed to have a relationship. It'll probably be a little awkward, but love takes no single shape or form and him both liking AND waiting for you will prove he is no sexual predator.

On the other hand, if you think he is acting in a suspicious or dangerous way then the option of talking to somebody (perhaps anonymous at first) about it and then reporting it may come in handy. I highly, highly doubt he's a paedophile though.

Take care.

Rachael McD.

x x x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2007):

ok. it looks like your teacher has a tiny crush on u. but DONT!!!!!!! say anything to him or ask him on a date. if he asks u tell him no, i am a student and u are a teacher. if u say yes u will cost him his job

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2007):

I agree with other answer. It is not good idea to go out with your teacher.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2007):

Im sorry but i really don't think acting on this is a good idea. Teacher and students getting together is danderous territory and could mean big trouble for the both of you. To be honest, i think you may just be reading the signals wrong - it would be very unproffesional if he was actually coming on to you, and i don't think a teacher would really do anything like that, especially if it jepourdised his job or reputation. If i'm wrong and he is actually coming on to you, you have to ask yourself if u would really wnt to be with a man who is attracted not only to younger girls than him, but schoiol kids who he teaches. There's something very wrong aboiut this. In the meantime, just try to ignore him, and you may realise that you had actually been looking out for signals he may have been giving to you because you fancied him, when in actual fact, he wasn't giving off any at all. If he does have feelings for you and dos decide to act, please don't go along with him because that is not normal or corect behaviour for a teacher and you need to tell someone about it. Hope this helps x

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A female reader, CARAwwr. United Kingdom +, writes (28 March 2007):

CARAwwr. agony auntAhh, try not to get too caught up in this.

But I know how you feel. The possibilities are endless.

It's a bit hard to tell from where I'm standing, I think I could judge a lot better if I had seen this myself.

In my school, there are so many slightly-but-not-majorly perverted male teachers. - They're not gonna touch us up or anything, but it's slightly strange.

Then again, they are still part of the human species, and I guess if it's what they like, then it's what they like.

As long as they don't lay hands on anyone, it's fine.

Just remember not to read too much in to it.

And let's hope you find out what you've been looking for soon.

xx

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2007):

DrPsych agony auntThere are two possibilities here: (i) you have a teacher in your school who hasn't got to grips with the teacher-pupil boundary too well. This is something hard to teach at teacher training college and usually comes with many years of experience within the classroom. This doesn't mean he fancies you, but it does mean he is being over-familiar given his professional role. He maybe just enthusiastic about his job, wants to be liked by his pupils and takes an interest in pupils he sees as high achieving. His motives maybe entirely innocent but nevertheless it can lead to confusion. It means that you have to be extra mature and not read too much into things. (ii) He is a sexual predator in the classroom. It may seem very exciting to have a teacher fancy you but when you are older you will understand why it is truely horrible. Teachers who embark on relationships (or try to) with their pupils are using their professional power for personal advantage. Most teachers are aware of the possibility of the teenage crush but very few adults would even contemplate acting on it. One reason is that it is a breach of the professional code of teaching and a criminal offence in many countries. The second reason is that the teacher could be branded a paedophile. The third reason is that adults looking in on the situation would see the teacher as a deeply inadequate adult with poor social skills if he has to resort to dating pupils. Fourthly, if he really is chasing you then you can guarantee he has done it before and will do it again...so you are not the special one, just one of many. Only you can really decide which one of these two scenerios applies to your situation - however, whatever you decide I hope you are mature enough to realise there is no happy ending here and you are best off not encouraging him and telling someone in authority if you really feel his advances are inappropriate.

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (20 February 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntNo he doesn't fancy you in the way you are hoping. He is a teacher who cares for all his students. You just have a typical crush and are seeing stuff that really isn't there. You are reading things into every move he makes and everyone has done the same thing once or twice when they were school girls.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2007):

You have a crush on a teacher, it happens to us all at one time or another. Don't look to much into this. I think you should continue as you are and have fun. Don't expect any relationships to come from this.

Take care

xx

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A female reader, Aunt Flo United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2007):

Aunt Flo agony auntRegardless of his feelings for you, it is his responsibility not to pursue a relationship. As a teacher it is his duty to act as a parent in your their absence. If he is flirting with you he is wrong to do so.

Do you fancy him?

If so I suggest you wait until you finish education and then consider finding out what his feelings are. If he is genuinely interested, you could continue it from there.

If his flirtatious behaviour continues while he is still your teacher you should put a stop to it.

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A female reader, Psyche United States +, writes (20 February 2007):

I don't mean to be weird here but it is inappropriate for a teacher to "fancy" anyone under 18. I know it sounds cool, but the outcome of such a fantasy is very ugly.

If you think he fancies you, there is something wrong with him.

If you fancy him, you may just be projecting your fantasy. Making more meaning out of innocent attention from him.

I recommend not thinking about it and if it becomes obvious that he is attracted to you, tell a counselor or your folks. Don't play games.

Good luck

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A female reader, dollparts Canada +, writes (20 February 2007):

dollparts agony auntahhh yeah this is a question that I've answered before but in this case it could just be that he wants to befriend you, you know?

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A female reader, vina_101 United Kingdom +, writes (20 February 2007):

vina_101 agony auntYes he might like you, but... it's not very likely that he actually fancies you. I wouldn't read too much into it. Maybe he's just being friendly. I doubt its anything more than that. Do you fancy him though? Because when you fancy someone you tend to magnify everything they do. And you might be looking too much into things now. Just continue being friendly and if there are anymore blatanly obvious signs then thats when you should start asking questions. For now just continue as you are.

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