A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 20 and he is 36 and is married according to his FaceBook. When I first met my personal trainer, he kept looking deep into my eyes with the biggest smile. He then texted me asking how my day has been and when I am starting, to have a good holiday etc. A few weeks later when I joined the gym, I saw him and he gave me a big smile. We both happened to get into the lift at the same time leaving and he looked directly at me and then seemed shy and was looking down. He texted me a few days later asking if I am ready to start my PT sessions however the agreement was it for to be next month. I told him I'm going away and he asked for how long and said "happy new year, new you"Few weeks later, he messages me saying "wassup" asks how I am, to have a good rest, to take care, that we will "catch up soon" (not sure whether he's implying gym or?) and said goodnight to me. Few days later, I saw him at the gym and we only saw each other from a distance but he gave me a big smile again and said how are you. Does he have a crush on me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (7 February 2016):
 Ah the perpetual question of the Personal Trainers...
1. he is DEFINITELY not shy.
2. part of a PT's job is to be outgoing, positive and to drum up business, get new clients. Being flirty and friendly works VERY well for most of them. ( You signed up didn't you?)
3. He is married, so it's IRRELEVANT.
4. If he does hit on your he very unprofessional.
Treat him like any other MARRIED professional in your life. Doctor, Gyno, dentist, etc. YOU are PAYING to have him help you hit your fitness goal. Not to flirt with you or hit on you.
Like Cindy mentioned when she compared the PT's to bartenders... It's definitely true. As a bartender the more you smile, banter, remember customers, flirt the better your tips and.... the more likely is is that the person comes back to the same bar.
As a PT, he/she will be in charge of you getting fit, so some (not all) use the "false" intimacy to motivate. When they really should be more professional and have some boundaries.
Do you REALLY want to be the "other woman" ?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2016): He's married.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2016): And this is and will forever be the problem with personal trainers.They are overly friendly and flirty and over eager in their pursuit of the almighty buck. Not you. They are flirting with your money. They want it more...Trainers need to know their boundaries. As clients always, always, always misinterpret their actions and intentions.It is a very slippery slope.You are very young. You are building this all up in your head. Making him and the situation into something it isn't. He is a fairytale. Not reality.I would remain professional if I were you. Don't ever make an attempt to pursue him. If a man is interested, he will ask you out. And you will definitely know it. But if he is married, he is off limits. So this PT is not available to you not only because you have a business relationship which involves the exchange of money but because he is married.If I were you I would show up, work my ass off and enjoy his platonic company. Leave it there.You will look like a fool if you approach him about your feelings. And just another silly and delusional young girl who worships him. Trust me, there is probably a line up...Stay in your place or find yourself another trainer - preferably a female this time - if you find your little fantasy is too hard to control.Been there and done that.Told my trainer I had feelings for him. Thought he was in love with me too. He did everything your trainer did and more. In the end, he was playing me for my money. I ended up leaving because my feelings were too strong and he was engaged to another woman. Oh sure he called me and messaged me to get me to come back. But not because of me. For the big chunk of change I put into his pocket. It was quite the loss financially.The fact he was crossing the line nonetheless lost him a client and source of income. That is why PT's need to be careful. And so do women like us.Hope my experience benefits you.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 February 2016):
 No, it sounds like he is just being his normal personal trainer self. Personal trainers have a ) to drum up business for their gym b) keep the ladies happy , and motivated to train again and again , and a little attention and sensitive touch work wonders. A smile here, a compliment there.... it's one of those job like bartenders, you have to be nice to people, females particularly ; a slightly flirty attitude is all in a day's work and after a while becomes ingrained.
This is not to say that personal trainers aren't human and cannot become attracted to their clients , or even fall in love with them- but not as often as the clients would like them to do :). Most of the times, a smile is just a smile , and only a tool to create a pleasant,relaxed atmosphere.
In any case,though , that would be a moot point, hopefully. The guy is MARRIED. So even if he had a crush on you- you'd be much wiser to consider this HIS problem and no skin off your nose, and to stick strictly to the reason why you went to the gym to begin with : improving your health and shape.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2016): No- it's his job.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (7 February 2016):
 This question comes up repeatedly. My best guess is, No! He does not have a crush on you. Maybe he is flirting; maybe not. It goes with the territory.
It is a bit of sugar that keeps women coming to the gym. Everybody likes to feel they might be attractive. And if the instructor looks twice at you then it is flattering.
Be honest - you want him to have a crush on you don't you?
But HE IS MARRIED you numpty! So cool your jets and get back on the exercise bike.
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