A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've known a guy know for 3 years over the internet. Since then we've really got to know eachother well, and became really flirty with eachother. Over the past 3 years I've started to really fall for him, but the problem is, he lives 4 hours away by car. I've met up with him twice (Ive gone up to see him) in the past 8 months, both times he's been really sweet, we were acting like we were going out - he payed for us to go to the movies, brought me lunch and he was the one initiating the hugs and the kisses. It was perfect, so sweet, romantic and my idea of a perfect guy! Of course, meeting up with him and being with him makes me fall for him even more.As he lives a long way away we don't see eachother much (as you have probably gathered). I may be moving nearer him (coninsidently) next fall. Since seeing him, he's had 2 girlfriends, but whenever we e-mail or instant message he always acts the same, still flirty etc even when he does have a girlfriend.I'm going to see him in next week, and hopefully staying over as it's winter vacation. We don't talk everyday, but when we do he's always so sweet, complimentative and keeps talking about how he's going to spoil me and be extra adorable to me when I do go and see him. I've told him my feelings - how much I like him, what I think of him and he says it's really sweet.As much as I like this guy, my friends have made me have doubts about him. They think that he isn't really interested in me and just wants me for sex as he knows how much I like him. I always disagree, as he sometimes calls me 'his' but we've never really talked about a relationship and I don't really want to ask incase it's something I don't want to hear. I can understand why my friends think that, as some of the things I have mentioned may seem a bit 'sus' I just don't know what to do. What are your opinions on this? Does he genuinly like me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): We can't say if he genuinly likes you. But if he flirts with you while in a relationship, what does it tell you about the way he treats relationships, especially if the flirting was "overdone"? You have been percolated a few doubts by your friends but you are afraid to investigate in case they prove founded. This is not OK. It seems you want to close your eyes to what is or may be unpleasant. You should be prepared and not surprised. While you are unsure of him, simply don't put yourself in a vulnerable position. Stay in expectative and get to know each other better. The anonymous warned how it turned out for her, let's better be cautious than anxious.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): I would make sure with him what he is wanting... sex or he wants you as his girlfriend.
If your still a virgin, think about it carefully.
Im in a siutation where i was seeing a guy, i met offline, things were amazing, he was great and so sweet and adorable. The sex happened way to quickly and now he's gone distant. He says its coz he thinks we were getting to close.... we are still in touch, but i have a lot of regret. I do wonder if he was just using me for sex......
consider it carefully.
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