A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend of mine who is very attractive and comes from a family that has a lot of money. She is pretty sarcastic but anyway we were out one night and I introduced her to a group of my other friends and the whole time she was just staring them down (not because she was scared) and not coming across nice towards them. And when they caught eye contact with her, she would continue to do it and sort of glare. When we went to the bar, she took my arm and walked into the room like she had been there before, like she's invincible. Her social media is the same, all about what expensive gifts, cars, holidays etc that she has. She is fine when it's just her and I but still similar, but as soon as it's a bigger group the whole dynamic changes. It's just awkward when we're out in front of other people.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2015): She is like one of those people who turns everything into this exclusivity club. To feel important, she must act important. Important people don't associate with just anybody. You know, that's probably what is going through her head and why she acts that way. It actually has nothing to do with money or looks. That's just her personal defense and coping strategy. That's what she feels she needs to do to feel good. I understand how uncomfortable that can be, to feel like she is judging your friends and she can't even socialize.I would say something to her. I think you need to bring her out of her shell and show her that it is okay to be social, it is actually way cooler than sitting there like a sour puss. Keep engaging your friends and be social around her. It'll probably rub off on her and she will catch on.
A
female
reader, femmenoir +, writes (9 March 2015):
 Regardless of your friends looks, actions, etc;, i actually feel/think that she may be very insecure & perhaps she worries about what others think of her, when she is out socially with you & she may even worry secretly, as to what you think of her.
She may possibly, however, have an element of sarcasm &/or arrogance, but i don't believe that this is her main flaw, if @ all.
She knows she's good looking & she'd use this to her advantage, in a social sense.
If you really wanted to read into it, you may assume that she is very confident or very insecure & i would be inclined to go with the latter, as many attractive people, tend to be quite insecure, no matter how good-looking they are & how often they're told they are.
If you feel that her behaviour is annoying, upsetting, frustrating, you could sit her down & in a number of indirect ways, you could send some strong signals her way & believe me, she may just get the hint.
For eg: You may say, i love people who are down to earth, easy going, consistent, non-arrogant, narcassistic & in you, as my friend, i have found this.
By saying something like this or similar, in your general conversation, you are letting her know, in a "non-direct" way, that this is what you want, appreciate in your friendships.
You are in essence, using a form of "Reverse Psychology" on her.
If you were to approach her directly regarding your thoughts/feelings, i can almost guarantee, that your friendship would be on rocky ground & it would lead to some major issues, between you & she & this would be very understandable regardless.
Good luck & please let me know how you get on. :-)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2015): The staring and glaring is because she isn't sure how your friends are receiving her. She's put on the spot with strangers, and can't put on her usual conceited airs when alone with you. Being among strangers places her at a disadvantage. They know you, will side with you, and she knows they're forming opinions of her the moment they set eyes on her. Being in a group of people and being the outsider, places you under scrutiny by the others. That's not the same as being one on one.
Until she gets to know them better, she can't say or do anything she fears will make them dislike her. At least not to their faces.
She has accepted you, but she is sizing-up and reviewing the rest of your band of friends. If she is as snobbish as you say, she feels you were the chosen one. The rest were thrust upon her.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 March 2015):
 She may actually be a SHY person. I have noticed that my son does the staring-and-glaring thing and he is actually a very shy guy.
As for walking into a bar as if it was not the first time... I don't quite understand what you mean, isn't it the first or second time just the same ? ( unless of course you need to use the ladies ' room :), in which case the first time you will have to ask for directions )...
Then again, personally very seldom I felt intimidated just by being somewhere , so maybe I cannot relate- but that would confirm my theory, if she is strutting it off a little bit, it's a confidence trick, a " fake it till you make it ", or " till you feel it ". I think if you are at ease in your surroundings, you just cross the room normally, without having to metaphorically puff your chest, or parade arm-in-arm...Ditto for the Fb bragging, ..it sounds like a bit of whistling in the dark...,
So yeah, I say probably she is shy and uncomfortable on larger social situations
, I'd give her the benefit of doubt .
Of course , though, if her ways to piss your other friends off - as the other ladies said, just do not bring her along and see her one on one.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (9 March 2015):
 I don't think, she thinks she is better. I think SHE is rather insecure. Meeting your other friends might have meant to her that SHE didn't feel at "important" to you. As for walking into a bar like she owns it, it's NOT hard to fake confidence and she has probably been in many situations where she had to do that. She doesn't want to look weak.
I agree with Ciar, if you two have a good time together, stick to outings just the two of you.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (9 March 2015):
 I wouldn't spend much time trying to figure her out. If she's good company when it's just the two of you, then stick to that. Don't include her in outings with other friends.
If she notices and asks why, be matter of fact and honest.
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