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Does my ex have unresolved feelings for me?

Tagged as: Cheating, Gay relationships, Long distance, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 May 2017) 5 Answers - (Newest, 22 May 2017)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

So I dated this girl long distance about 3 years ago. The relationship was fine until the very end when she started lying and treating me horribly. Long story short, she ended up cheating on me with her best friend (shd denied that she cheated on me) we broke up and they started dating...pass forward 2 years and she randomly messages me on Instagram and talking to me about her relationship problems with her girlfriend (same girl she cheated on me with). I, of course gave her advice because at this point I was over what happened. After talking for a bit, she finally admitted to cheating on me and apologized for what happened.

We didn't talk for another year after this. Now, it's present time..her and her girlfriend had broken up at some point and she is currently dating someone new. Anyways, she randomly messaged me on Facebook yesterday asking me how I was and that she hadn't talked to me in awhile. It was a friendly conversation until she brought up our past. She started telling me how great I was when we were together and how if she had another chance then she would do everything differently. She also mentioned that she constantly thought of me and still do to this day.

I'm just kind of confuse on what she is trying to do. Like, is she just being nice or does she have some kind of unresolved feelings for me?

View related questions: best friend, broke up, cheated on me, facebook, long distance, my ex

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (22 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntMy guess is that she feels bad for what she done to you. I guess we all make mistakes and she is trying to put hers right. If she is around your age then she was young when she cheated on you and now that she is a bit older it seems she may be trying to make amends.

As for you well it is up to yourself if you want to tell her you forgive her or not.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (21 May 2017):

Honeypie agony auntI do think she is trying to appease her own guilt. It's not about you, it's about herself.

After all, SHE has had to live with the knowledge that she not only cheated on you but lied. THAT she was the reason the relationship fell apart.

My guess is by "building you and your relationship up to be something SUPER great" she is trying to make YOU remember the good and not the bad. That way SHE can stop feeling bad about her own actions.

Do you NEED to be in contact with her? Not saying she is a bad person or anything but IS she a person you want/need around? If not, wish her well and let her go.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2017):

N91 agony auntOkay good.

Maybe she feels guilty for what she did? Or maybe she wants to test the waters to see if you'd be willing to give things another go.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2017):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Oh, I have no intention of getting back together with her. I'm just confused on why she is telling me thing stuff, especially if she's already in a relationship

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom +, writes (21 May 2017):

N91 agony auntIt sounds like she still has feelings.

Would it be a good idea to revisit the past though? I don't think so, remember why you guys broke up, would you be able to trust her?

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