A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A guy I'm dating got intimate ! I gave him a couple hickies at the drive thru and we kind of had sex. Well when he turned on the light he saw he had two hickies on his face, and he was upset. I said we can go to the store and I'll help you pick your colour so you don't have to worry at work. He said I don't wear make up. He's fairly light and im more of a medium complexion so mine wouldn't match at all. And out of nowhere he pulls out powder foundation! His colour! My first reaction was damn he's been with a girl recently but by the way he applied the make up it's like been before. On my first date I thought he was pretty feminine and my friend got the same vibe. 've dated feminine guys before that's not my issue. What I'm worried about was him being gay, me being just a hook up. and him just using me. But what if he's like Caitlin Jenner, hiding who he is? I feel bad for him. Like I want to be his friend and support him. But maybe I'm assuming? What should I do and say? Am I over reacting?
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 December 2015):
 If he is dating you and having sex ( kind of ) with you- then he is not gay. At most he could be bisexual.
But I bet he is neither. Just a metrosexualish hetero.
Powder foundation is not like liquid foundation , people generally does not use it for full face make up. It's more something to take the shine off oily skin, and to prevent getting a Rudolph the Reindeer look . Also better than concealer for hiding improptu zits. Or impromptu hickies.
In fact, it sounds more like a guy who found himself in this suck-faced predicament before, and made the boyscouts' motto " be prepared " his own.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (16 December 2015):
 I think if he WAS/IS gay he wouldn't be making out with you. Even if he was/is trying to hide it.
Sorry in this day and age of "metro-sexual" make up, hair care, waxing - YOU name it is as common for dudes as it is for the gals. It doesn't make a guy gay to keep himself looking a certain way. Neither does a guy with feminine traits.
I think the most likely explanations is that he has been in the situation of getting hickeys before (by the way gross!)- concealer and condoms? Yes, he has been there done that before and this time came prepared. Aren't you a little "old" for giving hickeys?
Yes, you are overreacting and stereo-typing someone you are willing to have sex with, but obviously doesn't know that well.....
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 December 2015):
 Over reacting here. A powder box says nothing about his sexuality. Stop stereotyping.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (15 December 2015):
 I agree with youwish... this is NOT a sign he is gay.
Many men now wear makeup, in some form or other. It is part of the grooming ritual, and the current trend for being cool and popular.
Fake tan, "guyliner", concealer, eyebrow plucking, designed stubble, "manscaping", hell even chest waxing! - men are just as concerned about looking "perfect" like the men they see in the magazines as women, and concerned about being compared to them. It is all about image, popularity, and being cool.
Why do you wear make up? To make yourself look better? To look like a celebrity? To attract guys?
Every single man you see on tv, in film, in music videos is wearing make up, they are not all gay, or secretly wanting to turn into a woman.
My guess is this guy has been given a hickey before, and knows exactly how to cover them up.
He was probably upset, because they are not really a nice thing to do, not sexy and definitely not that grown up. It is something teenagers do to show they are cool and have a bf/gf as a way of bragging to their peers - "hey im so cool, look what my gf did last night" etc etc etc. Grown ups have to go to work, have to be respectable, and a hickey does not go with that image.
Perhaps he has more than just you on the go and did not like that you have marked him in this way, as the others will get suspicious and not have sex with him?
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (14 December 2015):
 Why would that mean that he's gay? Maybe he's metrosexual, which more and more guys are these days! Many guys actually care enough to even out blemishes and pock marks, and maybe he's one of them.
He also could be a player as well if you're dating him and "Kind of" had sex at a drive-thru?? Also, if you gave him face hickies, that means he gets them easily and was ready for them. It would be foolish to think he didn't have experience in his own complexion!
Next time, don't mark his face up! You seem kind of possessive, which is why many girls give guys hickies to begin with! But if he was into you and had sex with you, I very highly doubt that he's gay. I'm thinking he's intelligent enough to bring the concealer along with the condoms because he's been around the block before!
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