A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have recently started a new relationship with a wonderful kind and caring man, we were only together for a short time when the bombshell that his ex girlfriend is pregant with his second child hit. My partner has told his ex that he will stand by her and the new baby and would never expect her to go it alone. He has also told me that he loves me and wants to be with me but his ex has told him that unless he goes back to her she will abort his unborn child - given that she is now over 3 months pregnant this is breaking his heart. I feel that i am being unfair to him but I have to be honest with him and have told him that If he goes back to her there is no us. I know he is so torn up about this - does he stay with me and be happy in his relationship but run the risk of losing his unborn child? Or go back to her and have his children but be miserable? Please help me I am so confused.
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female
reader, katzkitten +, writes (23 February 2007):
 hmmm well how serious is this relationship? is it worth all this trouble or will it be over in a year or two? i agree with Eve. the last thing you should have done is put more pressure on him. This may make his descision harder, and might even make him change his feelings towards you. But on the other hand, the child hasnt been born yet, he doesnt really know it, and what kind of life would it have if the father is unhappy and his ex would probably be unhappy as well. best of luck xxx
A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (22 February 2007):
 Oh dear... pressure pressure pressure. That's the LAST thing he needs at the moment, to choose! You didn't need to give him an ultimatum. Even if he DOES go back to her, if he truly loves you he would have come back to you. He might just have decided to go back with her until the baby is big enough that she can't have a termination and then come back to be with you.
The best thing you can do just now is let him know it's HIS decision. Give him some space for now, (a couple of weeks) with no contact from you whatsoever so he can sort his head out, that way he can let you know his decision.
Eve
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