A
female
age
41-50,
*lappy
writes:Hello again! Well I took everyone's advice. I got closure on my ex-boyfriend, and have put my whole heart into working it out with my baby's dad. I thought things were going well, we weren't fighting, we went shopping for baby stuff, and talked about moving in together in June when my lease is up. One day his ex wife sent him a text message about him being a better man....some country music video. That got him down. Even though he didn't want to be married to her anymore, its still tough going through a divorce, especially when there is a child involved. He thought i was being snotty with him, and i wasn't, but we got into a fight anyway. I told him to give me my house key back, and to take all his stuff that was there. After he confessed that he's been sleeping with someone else. We aren't together... but I was under the impression that we were working on our relationship, and just taking it slow since we both have stuff to work on. I asked him not to sleep with anyone else and if he did to tell me about it. He said he wasn't, and when I flat out asked him, he lied. I told him that I didn't care that he slept with someone, b/c technically we weren't together. He doesn't seem to grasp the consequences on the baby if he were to get an STD. He says he is not happy with the way his life is going, and wants to get couseling. He thinks that he and I would be a great couple and still wants to move in together in June. He says he knows he can be the man I need him to be. But when we fight he calls me names and tells me he isn't happy that I'm pregnant and never will be and that I'm going to be a bad mother. He says he needs to find a good stepmom so the baby has stability in its life. I may not be perfect, but I have NEVER cheated on anyone, or lied to anyone, i have not given him any reason to call me names. He says I'm spoiled, and only care about myself, bc i put my unborn child before his son, who I haven't even gotten to be around yet, b/c he just got divorced and doesn't want to confuse his son. Now since I am avoiding him, and just trying to take care of me and my unborn child, he wants to go t my next doctor's appointment, we will find out the sex. I want him to be there, but I also want him to grow up. I have known him for 8 years, and know that he is a good guy. I know that we have to get along no matter what, and I would still like for us to work out IF he gets the couseling he needs, and I know he is being immature, and needs to grows up. But does he deserve another chance after everything I've put up with from him???
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divorce, ex-wife, his ex, immature, my ex, std, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, girl from bristol  +, writes (2 February 2010):
no i dont think he deserves a second chance if he really loved you he would not be sleeping with somewhone else and why does he not want you to meet his son if he is serious about you and he calls you names there is no respect from him at all you should forget him and just find a good guy
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2010): im a single mother of 1. im young and i went through a lot of bs when i was pregnant with my son and have had problems with my sons dad. when he found out i was pregnant he left me. told me i was sleepin with his room mate and all kinds of stuff. so i left and never looked back. shortly before my son was born my brother told me he had run into my sons dad. said he asked bout how i was and if i knew the sex of the baby. my brother told him it was a boy and allof the sudden he wanted to know how to get in touch with me. a few months after my son was born he had one of his female friends con my step dad into giving her my cell number. she called me and told me he wanted to be in the babys life. a few weeks after that i allowed him to meet my son for the first time. he started telling me how he wanted to work things out and make things right with us and be a family. i was skeptical bout it all. not long after that i got a call from a woman wanting to know why my number was on his phone. come to find out the whole time he was tellin me he wanted us to be a family he was telling his ex wife the same thing. he was telling her my son wasnt his and telling me he knew he was his. so we did a paternity test and got the results. now he knows there is no denyin him. however i stood my ground and told him i wouldnt play his games. to this day he is still immature and pathetic in my opion. my son is 5 and hasnt seen his sperm donar in about 3 yrs. which in my opinion is best for him. i dont believe men deserve a second chance when it comes to playin games with a family and baby. every woman has the right to happiness. i say let the immature "man" go and find your own happiness. good luck in what ever it is you decide is best for you and yours.
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