A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Does clothing really play a part in your attractiveness?I come from a relatively 'poor' or woking middle class family. While I've never had to worry about going to bed on an empty stomach and have always attended quality schools, my family income is obvious in the way I dress, the hairstyles I wear and the phones I use.So I try my best to look as presentable, neat and as stylish as possible. But the clothes I have are all from about 3 - 4 years ago, which is starting to show. Jeans no longer 'fit perfectly' but sort of hang desperately off my legs... Tops will either have random tiny holes or fit unevenly with the colours washed out. I like to leave my hair it's natural state (afro) but because I can't do any protective styling regularly (like box braids or weaves) it just never looks up to standard.However, the few time I DO get new items, it's as if I'm a completely new person. Everyone compliments me. And suddenly, guys notice me and approach me! I'm not an unnattractive girl in general, and I do get some male attention, but whenever I have something completely new on, I feel like a guy magnet that turns heads wherever I go! Which is flattering.Which also brings me to the question of whether I'll ever actually find the right guy if the only way I manage to grab male attention (and even female validation!) is only when I'm not wearing my usual rags.This is not a complaint post. I'm quite happy in my achievements and proud of my family. My concern is the effect clothes have on the way we percieved people.Are people being subconsciously disregarded because of their poor quality of clothing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for the overwhelming response!
I totally agree that what may factor in people noticing me in new clothing is, more than anything, my attidude. A new top or dress I'll wear with excitement and confidence and I'm sure that is what is projected outwards as I walk around and talk to people.
And also it is true that having been around other students who dress in labels or at least very stylishly had an effect on the way I felt about my own self-esteem around them. Maybe I unconsciously attempt to hide myself.
So! Thanks for all the tips. I think the next step will be to start saving so that at least I can get something cheap and stylish at a small market shop at least once a month so that I can start building a new wardrobe and look.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (18 December 2014):
 Who said Rockport? 5 stars just for saying it! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2014): Oh yeah damn right it does! I don't get half as many looks during the day when I'm in work wearing boring suits, shirts, zzzz.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2014): Yes and no. It's really not that cut and dry, let me explain. There is the very basic standard of judgement so as not to be deemed homeless or careless. Clean clothes. No stains on them. No inappropriate tears. That's the basic. After this, how people are judged often depends on who is judging them. A lot of kids your age, for instance, who are far from poor, shop at thrift stores, wear hand me downs, ripped jeans, old sneakers, vintage clothing, pantyhose with streaks and holes in them. They dress this way to fit a certain look or stereotype. Maybe they are in a band or are an aspiring artist. In their community their measure of judgment is looking 'cool.' But someone outside his community might look at him and think he can't afford to dress better, without realizing he dresses that way on purpose. There are also people who perhaps have a lot of money who buy very expensive clothes and regardless of whether it matches and looks good or not, they think it looks good because it has the designer's name branded all over the clothing. Have you ever seen women who carry a Coach bag and shoes that say Coach all over it? In their community, their measure of judgment is looking 'rich.' But someone outside her community might look at her and think she is tacky. There are also people who have a unique, visually aesthetic, sense of fashion. They can combine a red blouse with a green skirt and it works. It looks good. And you've never seen anyone, besides an elf, pull it off before. And their clothing is ambiguous as in you can't tell if its designer clothing or she bought her clothes at Ross. This type of person, you can probably throw in any store, expensive or cheap, and she'll walk out looking super stylish. In their community, their measure of judgment is looking 'stylish.' And whether inside or outside of their community, these types of people get a more universal nod in terms of their style. So as you can see, the way you dress does affect the way you are perceived. You don't need a lot of money to be stylish. There are always sales at department stores to take advantage of. If you take just $25 a week and go shopping, and have a good sense of style you can buy a new item every week and start building up your wardrobe.
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (18 December 2014):
Shapeless rags hide your body and make it seem formless. Well fitting clothes will bring attention to your body like the feathers of a peacock on full display. Since clothes cover a big part of our body, it makes sense that people pay attention to it. It's a big part of your appearance. So yes, it does play a role in attractiveness. If you're wearing clothes that compliment the shape of your body, it will make you look more attractive. People will also assume you take good care of yourself, and that's something many consider an attractive quality. That's just how things work.
Also, looking nice and presentable doesn't have to be expensive at all. People don't give a shit about brands; everything came from the same factory anyway.
Some tips that helped me:
- Stores like H&M and Forever21 have relatively low prices, especially if you catch them at sales. I keep an eye on online coupons too; they can save you a lot of money. There are a lot of stores, when you catch them at the right time, you can get a lot of quality clothes for little money.
- Online marketplaces are a godsend too. I got a Desigual dress that retails at $80 for $8 secondhand. Just make sure that you get the seller's information before you take the plunge. Though usually, when it's a small amount like that, they won't scam you.
- I also trade clothes with friends. Everyone has something in their wardrobe that they bought but don't wear, but don't throw out because it would be a waste. That item could be perfect for you.
- If your bodyshape does not lend itself well to standard sizes, find a cheap tailor that can mend and adjust your stuff. I got a leather jacket from my friend. It fits great at the shoulders, but it's too wide at the waist. I had it taken in for about $10 and now it looks as good as any superduper expensive garment.
- lastly, taking care of your clothes well will help their longivity. Polish up leather once in a while. If you have shirts with prints that easily fade, wash em inside out. Don't wash anything too hot unless you absolutely have to. Get a closet or something that plunges your clothes in darkness so they don't get stripes from sunlight overtime. Limit the use of hangars; they ruin the shape of your clothes. Also, when you're hanging your clothes to dry, try to divide the weight of heavy garments over the lines, otherwise the shape of them just gets pulled out out by gravity.
Anyway, all that's nice and but what you really need to know is what works for your body. That's key in making clothes look good.
- For example, I have wide shoulders for a girl, and my arms are are muscly. That means that typical blouses don't look flattering on me. But those with shoulder puffed sleeves do.
- If you have a bit of a stomach, low rise jeans are not for you.
- If you have bigger thighs and smaller calves, try to steer clear of skinny jeans; they tend to make your legs look like pears. That is, unless you've got a pair of boots to counter that effect. (Legwarmers work great for this purpose if you're wearing leggings).
- If you can't color coordinate, go for safe: buy black clothes, grey clothes and jeans. If you want to keep it from being boring, go wild on tops: get them in any color or print to make the whole outfit pop without being overbearing. Etc.
Anyway, I know this is wayy too much info but I hoped it helped. And remember, don't dress for anyone other than yourself.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2014): Tough question to answer, however, I have some nice clothing from Harry Rosen, names like Armani, Tilford and so on. I discovered quite a few years back that most people have no idea what you are wearing, an Armani is just as likely to be seen as an "off the rack" shirt from Wal-Mart by most people. It is more a case of how you wear your clothing, than what brand you are wearing. Inexpensive clothing, worn correctly, fitted right and washed clean, will carry the day.I have also noticed shoes play a very important part in your overall appearance. Nice, clean shoes make the person. Cost is not a vital issue with shoes, however, most people can tell a good shoe at a glance. Stick with simple, plain shoes like Rockport, or Clark's for example. Moderately priced and usually nice appearing. "Stay plain and appear sane", as a tailor I know always says.They also say, "Clothes make the man or woman", yes, in part, but the wearer's attitude, carriage and confidence add exponentially to the look.
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (17 December 2014):
 Yes. I find a lady much more attractive when her clothes are in a clump, on the floor, next to her, or my, bed...
Good luck...
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 December 2014):
It depends upon the type of guy you're attracted to. For example, a guy who likes casual, blue collar, outdoorsy get-dirty as a lifestyle would prefer a girl who looks as lived-in as he is, and would eschew a porcelain over-makeupped person who would be terrified to mess up her shoes hiking on a mountain trail.
On the other hand, a guy who likes the social upper-crust nightlife, dresses in Armani, spends an hour on his hair would go for a woman who selects her image based on that sort of culture - one where she's up for black-tie affairs and rocks the "little black dress" and heels in style.
But both of these examples have a common refrain, and it's more important than clothes: She's comfortable with who she is, confident and unafraid. Even if she's in painting-clothes (you know the type - torn, faded, covered in old paint and stains), you can tell that she's a cut above the norm.
You can find really good deals in clothes if you look for them. The markup in fashion is so astronomical that if you put a little effort into searching cost, you'll be rewarded. Join online clubs for your favorite stores or fashion labels, and you'll start seeing emails for outstanding discounts. I have a friend who does that a lot, and she's always letting me know about insane discounts she's getting.
Another thing you might want to do is find a good tailor. Some of those older clothes could use a little tweaking to help them fit better at a fraction of the cost. For shoes and purses, get a care kit, buff and polish them, and it'll look like you just bought new shoes.
Not only that, but people don't think about jewelry! I used to sell it, and you'd be amazed at what a good cleaning will do. Go to a jewelry shop, do a little window shopping, and ask for a professional jewelry cleaning of rings, necklaces, watches, etc. Some make you pay, many do it just because they adore watching that ring that was cakes in hand sanitizer and oil look like new. Nicks and scratches can be polished out easily. I made a TON of sales by washing people's jewelry for free.
You also FEEL better in newer clothes, which is a chicken or the egg thing. You have new clothes, so you feel better, but what if feeling better was the attractor?
You'll be okay. If you're describing your clothes as "rags", then save them for the time you need them.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (17 December 2014):
 Clothing doesn't MAKE you more attractive.
HOWEVER, dressing right for your body can. Taking care of your self and how you look can as well. Someone who take the time to look put together, can come off as more attractive, if only because she/he is more confident.
AND as you say when you wear something "new" people notice - I don't think it's the clothing alone they notice but YOU, because when YOU wear something new, your attitude changes. My guess is that you normally "hide" a little to avoid people noticing you, but when you wear something "new" you radiate more self confidence then usual. PEOPLE notice that.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (17 December 2014):
Look at a good looking guy in a tailored suit and the same guy wearing poorly fitted, out of style clothes.
Which one will people prefer to look at?
How you dress says a lot about you and your family. It is very superficial, but most people are superficial.
You sound like a catch and so the compliments may be nice, but I can't imagine you having too hard of a time finding a guy who appreciates you. Nice clothing is just a bonus, it's not the most important thing.
Part of it is as stated, properly fitting clothes are more flattering. Another part of it is that people tend to comment when they notice a change.
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female
reader, Aneksenamun  +, writes (17 December 2014):
My experience as a woman is that it does make a big difference. But stylish clothing doesn't mean expensive or even fashionable clothing. You can dress up your old clothes with cheap accessories, dye a machine load of old shirts or jeans with one packet of dye or buy clothes in second-hand shops. When you can afford it, buy one good garment instead of a few cheap ones and over the years you'll build up a good wardrobe. I'm nearly twice your age and still have some things from when I was a teenager! I just won a holiday in a Ladies Day Best Dressed competion so I think my advice will help...and by the way I'm also from a humble background.
Best of luck!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2014): Yes I do think if you dress nicely, and by that I mean not wearing expensive clothes but wearing clothes that suit your figure and fit show off your body shape so that you can see that they have a nice shape whether it be big or small. I would just buy a belt if you can't afford a new outfit just so that the jeans you have fit better, it would make a world of difference I'm sure and boost your confidence even more. Guys like me tend to like new (as in stuff they haven't seen before) and colourful things because it's exciting.
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