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Does cheating empower women?

Tagged as: Cheating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 December 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is infidelity in the male/female relationship immoral or empowering for the women? Religion can be a factor in the answer if needed.

View related questions: infidelity

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A male reader, duce00 United States +, writes (16 December 2009):

duce00 agony auntAny form of attention is empowering to a narcissist.

Are you sufficiently entertained now?

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A male reader, truelover India +, writes (15 December 2009):

truelover agony auntWow!

Although I have nothing to add to the sensible points already made, I want to express my joy on reading such wonderful posts (considering that I'm new to DC & romantic relationships in general & have been spending a lot of time here over the last week reading so many interesting posts)

Code Warrior, that was a nice lesson in deductive reasoning! As a software professional myself, I particularly appreciate the soundness of your argument.

& Q you had me tearing up with laughter. Really enjoy your unique sense of humor in so many of your posts. Really special mind u've got there!! Thanks!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (14 December 2009):

eyeswideopen agony auntI'll bet the woman who gets cheated on doesn't feel so damned empowered!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009):

Code Warrior: I am not encouraging cheating, I was telling my story. At the point when I decided to have an affair I was thinking about revenge. My husband and I were still together because he had begged me to stay and attempted suicide. I felt trapped, but because of the emotional highs and lows in these type of situations, I thought the right thing to do was stay and try work the marriage out. During that time, I had very low self-esteem and when this hot guy came into my life I got involved with him. My husband and I were barely talking but the guy I was with was attentive, loving, kind and hot! So I fell for the fantasy. When you survive a cheater the first thing for a woman to fall is her self-esteem and sense of worth and attractiveness. You ask yourself over and over, what did she give him that I couldn't? Is it my body? My hair? And so it goes on. So when prince charming comes along you are in a position of vulnerability. At home my family and his family were making me responsible for my husband's suicide attempt and my grievances against him were forgotten while I was blamed for it all. So the affair made me feel desired, appreciated, heard; and as a result, empowered. When my husband's affair first came out I also felt that at my age and with the number of kids I had and our bills and all as a stay at home mother, I had not much choice but to stay. The affair showed me that there are men out there who would be willing to date me despite my baggage. My husband had convinced me that "you can never get a man better than me" all through our marriage, because he was the only man I had ever slept with. Since my affair I have broken up with my husband and am now dating someone. My husband continues to refuse to sign the divorce papers and says I will never be free from him. I hope that answers your questions.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (14 December 2009):

We aren't here to do your homework for you hun, sorry.

Good Luck!! xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009):

when I found out that my former husband had cheated on me, I found a fcuk buddy. He was also a survivor of an unfaithful girlfriend. We comforted each other and had a lot of fun. I found it extremely empowering that a Johnny Depp replica 10 years younger and as sexy as that could be attracted to me. He was even talking about me leaving my husband permanently for him but I realised that it would not work, me having children and a very complicated life. Now the relationship has run its course but it helped me realize that I had options and that other men fancied me despite my husband putting me down. We remain friends. I am a Christian but I did not regret it for a second and any very brief moments of guilt were quickly forgotten when I remembered what my husband had done. Sad but truth.

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A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (14 December 2009):

bharat mehta agony auntInfidelity in sex relations is held as immoral, even punishable crime, to some extent is religious vision. In most advanced and western culture the thing became soft. Religion hold sex is inherently evil, but it can be moral only in marriage relations. Sex is OK only if it is used as a procreative purpose and not for pleasure.

In religious society, it is society who enjoy full power over 'body.' Directly, it is family members play the role of society, with inclusion of neighbors and even strangers happen to watch any sexual activity, can control.

In advanced and free society, society is reduced to simple instruments to serve the Individual in finding proper relationships. Here, Individual enjoy all power with own risk and cost.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009):

To me, if a girl cheats, then in general there is something wrong with the her self esteem. She should be able to leave a relationship and be alone before venturing into another relationship.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009):

can you make this question clearer? I havent a clue what you are talking about...mal

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