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Does becoming FWB destroy the chances of becoming something more?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 July 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 6 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have become fwb with an old flame who i have liked for a long time, problem is i want more but dare not say anything! we have only been together twice but he stopped all night and cuddled me, stroked my hair held my hand and kissed my forehead constantly when we was going to sleep! could this mean he has feelings for me too? can fwb become more over time or once you become fwb has that blown any chance of something more?

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A male reader, Myau New Zealand +, writes (6 July 2010):

Myau agony auntI would say no, Im afriad.

But I think youd be better off telling him how you feel. I mean what are you doing there, its just going to hurt you in the end isnt it

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (6 July 2010):

janniepeg agony auntNothing is absolute. The chances of an FWB developing into something more is the same as married couples becoming roommates. Many people swear they would not get into a relationship ever again. They say this in the heat of the moment. No one is able to keep the promise to be celibate or be a player, forever. I wouldn't push for a label. I would just wait for it to develop. Unless you are in a rush to get married and have a kid. The way you can know more about whether you like each other enough is to spend more time outside the bedroom.

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A female reader, Wise Woman of the Forest United Kingdom +, writes (5 July 2010):

Wise Woman of the Forest agony auntI wouldn't say it destroys your chance to become something more, but it won't be as special when you elope if you do become something more. If you want it, just ask. The most you'll lose is a couple of days of casual sex. Chances are you could develop a relationship, if not, walk away before you are in over your head. (:

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (5 July 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntI agree with Vintage; what have you got to lose by asking? At best, he tells you that something more could develop. At worst, he says his heart will never be in it. Either way, you know where you stand before you sink your heart into it too deeply.

I have to agree with Vintage in that it sounds like more for him if he stays all night and cuddles. Keep your question light and bright, positive attitude, "This is feeling like more than merely FWB right now!" Said during the cuddling session. Wait and see what he comes back with. Maybe try to go out on a date instead of straight to bed.

Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010):

I would talk to him, staying the night and cuddling etc after sex doesn't sound much like fwb, he could very well want more. What have you got to loose by asking?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2010):

Honey I am sorry ... just because he was "intimate" with you after sex doesn't mean that he has feelings for you. The trouble with us girls is that we take those little gestures as meaning something more ... and guys think very differently to us.

I hope you get the answer you want, but if you find yourself falling for him and he isn't interested in more than FWB, then TRY SO HARD to walk away before you get hurt.

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