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Do you think the reason I don't have a boyfriend is because of my weight?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Health<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 October 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 15 October 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *amo writes:

I feel RANK!

I'm 5.7" and nearly 12 stone... I don't go round saying "eugh I'm so fat.. look at how fat I am" to everyone but I have told a couple of close friends how I feel about my looks and they say I'm not fat, but I think they're only saying it to be nice.

I feel very self conscious and I haven't had a boyfriend for about 2 years and no one seems interested in me. Do you think this could be because of my weight? What can I do?

x

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A female reader, namo United Kingdom +, writes (15 October 2008):

namo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

namo agony auntaw thank you so much! All of you have been such a GREAT help and i'm already starting to feel better about myself.

I'm going to save up for some new clothes, try new makeup, exercise more and cut out as much crappy food as i can :D

thanks guys for the confidence boost!

xxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

trust me it's not your weight although your feelings about your weight are undermining your confidence and this is your problem. First of all, what makes you feel bad about your weight? Do you have unrealistic expectations about how your body should look? Another thing, guys actually don't dig the skinny model look. Alot of skinny women just have alot of body confidence because they can wear anything. Keyword: CONFIDENCE. I'm five foot nothing but curvy and my boyfriend loves my figure and I'm not a pipecleaner. My boyfriend is a very attractive guy so don't think your weight (you're not overweight) is stopping you from being unnattractive to guys. Concentrate on what you like about yourself. Do you have nice eyes, mouth, ass? Buy some new clothes, a new dress, a sexy pair of heels. But remember not to wear overly revealing clothes or you'll send the wrong message to the wrong kind of guys. Get a new haircut or colour, do your makeup a different way. Whatever it takes to make you feel different about yourself. Also, your diet could make you feel bad if you're not eating properly. Too much bad stuff can bring down your mood and give you anxiety. Exercise can make you feel good inside and outside and puts a rosy glow into your cheeks. Just remember that its totally within your power to change how you feel about youself. Stop worrying about what others think of you, cos trust me everyday men and women aren't going to be worrying too much about what you look like. When you find that special guy who loves you just the way you are, hes going to love your body and everything about you. Believe him.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (15 October 2008):

Danielepew agony auntI can tell you this. I met this friend of mine like thirty years ago. She's always been a large girl, and for some time she was very overweight. However, she is also a very confident person, and many men find that attractive. She's not pretty, but she more than makes up with personality.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

hi, i'm 5'7 and 9st and i've been called "lanky" "skinny arsed" and flat chested by men, so its horses for courses. at 12st you are certainly not fat and you're lucky to be so tall! see, i know a lot of guys try and beef themselves up, but i love skinny guys. i know a lot of girls who are slim and think theyre all that, but a hell of a lot of men like curves, sadly some of the ones i've fancied! :( you can wear so many great things, like corsets and halter necks that are unflattering for skinny girls. everybody has a preference, and its not always being thin. i agree with other posters that its probably your self esteem thats lacking a little hun, and that comes from yourself. i know lots of girls, myself included who are self conscious as hell and i dont think thats something that is top of most men's list, so i would definitely say thats a bigger priority over your size and shape.

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A female reader, epifanatical Australia +, writes (15 October 2008):

epifanatical agony auntIts how you percieve yourself sweetee, think that your weight is a factor? well then thats what everyone else will think. Think that your sexy and attractive? well thats what everyone else will think too. Whatever your perception is focused on is what will come into play. With you AND those around you.

So u got a few curves? Big woop, learn to love em and be proud of em. Dont allow the glossies to dictate to you ideal body image, thats just a load of crap. Look around you sweetee arent the majority of the girls curvy and sexy? NOT skin and bones? Its healthier to be a fit and curvy girl.

Change the way you think about yourself and EVERYTHING changes. Try it!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

Hi

Im the same height and weight. Trust me thats not stopping you from getting a man. Confidence is the most attractive quality in a person.

I think maybe you need to look at the things which you like about yourself rather than the things you dont. Im a model and still look at pictures of myself and think yuk sometimes. But you have to look at your positives and there are things you can do to mask the things you dont like.

For instance make sure the clothes you have are complementing your figure.

A makeover could help, it will show you how different you can look,

Although the most important thing is to be comfortable in your own skin. If you cant love yourself how can somebody else?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008):

Im 15 1/2 stone at only 5ft 2in and 18. I have a wonderful boyfriend who I have been dating a year, so no it isnt your weight.

Dont worry you will find someone who loves you for you.

I went through a time of sleeping around to feel attractive and it wasnt worth it, so dont go with the first boy who comes along.

Good luck btw 11 stone for being 5ft 7 is normal it is not fat at all. x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008):

I weigh 11 stone and I'm trying to lose weight since last 5 years and its hard because it requires a lot of discipline which I'm working on.But believe me, this alone can't be the reason for someone not to be interested in you.Maybe beacause you are so self conscious, you might be staying away from opportunities where you can meet and find some nice ppl.You should try to love yourself first no matter how your body looks like.

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