A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:About four months ago I met a really nice guy at a bar in San Fran (not a sleazy one)- we had a few mutual friends. We talked for a bit and ended up making out for quite a while. He waited two days to call me, and I didn't answer as I was taken aback that he actually called. At that time, I was not looking for a relationship as I had just gotten over someone else and was starting at a new college - everything was just a little bit overwhelming. I ended up texting him back in attempt to not lead him on as I didn't want to hurt him as he was a nice guy. After we exchanged a few texts I stopped replying in the hope that he would realise I wasnt interested. I thought this was the best way to let him down easy. Since then, I have bumped into him a few times, the first few times we didnt talk but recently we have been more friendly. The last time I saw him, which was 1 month ago, he introduced me to one of his friends as I passed them by, and greeted me by kissing me on the cheek. Recently, I have started to really have feelings for him as I have realised that he is one of the most genuine guys I have met. Do you think that i hurt him and he doesn't want to have anything to do with me, or would be willing to give me another chance? If so, should I just talk to him and see what happens or apologise and spill my feelings?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2012): I just went through a situation where a man stopped messaging me back in the hope I would get that he wasn't interested. I got that message along with the message that he is a disrespectful coward, who not only has no manners but is not worthy of my time as he is too much of a coward to treat me like a human being. I sure as heck wouldn't give him another chance to treat me like a piece of garbage. In future instead of thinking what is easier for you, I suggest you think about how the other person feels and be honest with them. You can let him know that your interested now, but don't expect him to believe you or give you another chance because he might not. Good Luck
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (5 August 2012):
 So you meet a guy at a bar, you make out, he actually has the decency to call you and you don't answer? Sometimes I wonder if men can ever win with us women. We are upset when they don't call, and when they do, we won't answer the phone. Plus, if you had just gotten out of a relationship, then why in the world would you go make out with him? I would say making out with someone IS leading someone on.
You just stopped replying hoping you could "let him down easy"? No, what you did was allow him to think that you're disrespectful and like to play games. Instead of just telling him that you had gotten out of a relationship and didn't want to jump into another one, you didn't answer calls, you don't return calls, and basically made yourself look like you didn't even think enough about him as a human being to at least communicate with him. He probably thinks you're not interested.
If you are interested, make sure you show it. Don't confuse people by making out with them and then ignoring them when they call or text. I would call him and tell him your situation and see what he says. But from now on, just be honest with people.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (5 August 2012):
 Maybe text him and let him know that "life has calmed down now that you've "gotten settled into school". Could he meet you for a walk or coffee?
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A
male
reader, nonan  +, writes (5 August 2012):
I'm not saying you should definitely pour your heart out but at least give him some signs you're interested.
Maybe even saying something directly without being overwhelming him.
"You know, when we first met, I wasn't looking to meet someone but I've started thinking about you a bit."
If he asks what you mean, maybe say something like "it'd just be good to get to know you better and see what happens."
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Go for it!
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