A
male
age
36-40,
*ardrive
writes:My gf broke up with me a month ago saying she doesn't love me anymore and she wants to concentrate on her career. I was devastated. I cudnt sleep or eat for days I begged her to come back to me but she said no she doesn't feel the same. She said we will b friends n that she can b the best of friends. I know she is busy with stuff. But she doesn't call me anymore. I called her last week n she said she has to go n she will talk to me later but she didn't call. On Christmas I texted her wishin Christmas she replied same to u and that she is going to her cuzins house n will talk to me later. It's been 3 days she hasn't called back. I don't wanna call her back. Is she ignoring me. Or is she playing games n wants me to call her. Girls opinion will help a lot. And also when she broke up with me she was crying for 2 days cuz she said she was hurt n she cared abt me n she felt like crap later. I m so confused. Pls help me agony aunts. Y r girls so confusing. ??
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broke up, christmas, hasn't called, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, hardrive +, writes (28 December 2008):
hardrive is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for all ur advice. I will try to keep myself busy.
A
male
reader, sheridan  +, writes (27 December 2008):
hi had this problem myself best advise is try and take ur mind off it find a hobby go out with friends get your life on track and see wot life bring you
all the best mate make yourself number one keep in touch ok
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (27 December 2008):
Because darlin' everybody that breaks up says that (unless there was something bad done to someone). There are a number of reasons people say "we can still be friends".
When one person feels like a relationship is not working for them or not what they want, or they are not "in love" with that person and decide to break off the relationship, it doesn't mean that all their feelings for that person have suddenly completely disappeared. It's not black and white like that. She still cares about you, you are still someone she was close to. She doesn't WANT to hurt you. Just because she wants to move on doesn't mean she wants to completely abandon you or the friendship part of your relationship. So saying lets be friends is a way to try to let go and hold on to what was good at the same time. It's a way to feel like she's not abandoning you. She's not trying to play games, she's just trying to make it easier for both of you.
But usually it doesn't work, because talking to you or hanging out with you as a friend right after you broke up is too hard - when she sees that you still have all these feelings for her and she will feel guilty for hurting you, and not want to feel pressured to get back together. Sometimes old bf/gf's can be friends but it usually takes a cooling off/healing period before that can happen. Does that help? I'm sorry sweetie. Hang in there it will get better.
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A
male
reader, hardrive +, writes (27 December 2008):
hardrive is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThen y did she tell me we can b friends n hang out n stuff. She says she just doesn't want the responsibilty of a bf.
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A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (27 December 2008):
Darlin' I am so sorry. It sounds like you are heartbroken and in a lot of pain. Sadly, I think your girlfriend means what she says. She is not initiating or returning your calls because she is trying to move on from your relationship. It wouldn't be "breaking up" if you kept talking to each other all the time.
I don't think she is playing games, but when she says she will call you later she may just be telling you what she thinks you want to hear. She doesn't want to hurt you. Of course she cried when you broke up, just because she broke up with you doesn't mean she doesn't care about you at all. Of course she still cares about you. But sweetie, you should not expect her to call you.
You need to let her go and start the process of healing your heart. You need to grieve and be sad, and you need to get back into your own life and get busy to get your mind off her. Give it time you will get past her and feel good again. It just takes time. I'm sorry.
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