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Do you think my ex wants just friendship? Why does he come to my house and just sit outside?

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 April 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 9 April 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *opeXFaithXLove writes:

Hi all,

this is going to be really long. Im well into college now, in 2004 i was a sophamore in high school. I met a guy whom was my first love. We were together for a year and a half. I broke things off because he was starting to act like he didnt want me and he didnt try to prevent the break up. It used to be everytime i would get over him he would come back and for a while he used me for what he wanted. One day i just woke up and said enough. I deleted his number after telling him numerous times to stay away. I loved him so much. Eventually i got another bf and he got another gf. He currently liVes with his gf but continuously tries to see me. He gets drunk and comes to my house and knocks on my window which i never wake up. This guy recently came and spoke with my dad. He admitted that he comes to my house and just sits outside because he misses me and that even though its been almost 4 years since weve been in a relationship, everytime he gets drunk or if hes feeling down i pop into his head. He claims hes been sitting outside every once in a while for about a year. Eventually my dad admitted that me and my bf r no longer together. He wanted to talk so we met up. He did not admit that the reason he keeps sitting outside is because he still loves me but because he misses my friendship. Him and his gf have recently started having problems and hes going to see what happens but he says things have changed. I am terrified. I still have feelings for him. But im keeping my guard up. My question is do u really think he wants just friendship? Does he honestly have feelings for me in ur opinion or is he just looking to me so that hes not alone when he ends things with her?

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (9 April 2010):

CindyCares agony auntYes, continue keeping your guard up.

Things are never all white or all black.

This guy may very well both have feelings for you ( but not so strong to prevent him keeping living with his gf ) AND think you'd make a convenient plan B.

Also, you say that he misses you most ..when he gets drunk. Some people get all emotional and sentimental when they get drunk.

It's more meaningful how people treats you and talks to you when they are sober.

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