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Do you think I deserve an answer from him?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 November 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 10 November 2008)
A female United States age 30-35, *orever_His writes:

My boyfriend of a year broke up with me. He said I did nothing wrong, but that we just needed time apart. I didn't get to talk to him for a week. Then he called me and said that he could never stop loving me. He always told me that I was the best thing to happen to him since his son from a previous relationship. Since we have been broken up, he has been seen with three other girls. I suspected one of being his new girlfriend. He told me they weren't dating. She is a really bad person. His parents love me and they want us together. He has pretty much disappeared because no one has talked him in weeks. So do you think that I deserve an answer from him if he's saying that he loves me. What should I do?

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A female reader, Forever_His United States +, writes (10 November 2008):

Forever_His is verified as being by the original poster of the question

IF it was that easy to let him go, I would. You don't understand what I've been through with him. I hurt him before we even got together, not on purpose though. HE really liked me, but I was kinda into someone else at the time, and it took him almost 3 months to finally get me to date him. I really liked him as soon as I met him. He was real sweet. A year of my life was spent with him. we shared and created so many memories. and I want more. I feel as if he's just confused and that he's scared..idk. But most people just tell me to be strong and hold on that he will be back. Like I said before, his family loves me, they love him too and they don't know where he is right now either. An ex of his that I know who wants nothing to do with him by the way, and I know for a fact that they'll never be together again, even said that if I'm just patient, that he will see what he's missing because I love him more than any other girl has..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2008):

i'm sorry 2 read your msg. sorry but let this guy go - it may hurt like hell but in a wierd way it actually increases ur chances of getting back in a few years time. when my girlfriends are all clingy it's a real turn off but if u r strong he could mature and remember the good times. u r better off without him. finally only take him back if he explains and proves what was wrong inthe relationship is now fixed (ps he does not deserve u u r too good for him)

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A female reader, Forever_His United States +, writes (9 November 2008):

Forever_His is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok, I meant I will NOT be able to devote myself and my time to another man the way that I have him. And his family feels as if with the holidays coming up, he will be home.

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A female reader, Forever_His United States +, writes (9 November 2008):

Forever_His is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I wish I could move on, but until he calls me and says that he doesn't love me anymore, then how can I? His family is very important to him although he does not always feel as if he is accepted by them. My man has some temper problems that no one else can handle. No other girl will be there for him the way that I have been when he gets angry. If we wants me to move on, then he needs to be the one who tells me that, not everyone else. But I have this feeling in my heart that he will be in contact soon, even if it's not something that I want to hear. In a way, he has taken me for granted, but I will be able to devote myself and my time to another man the way that I have. I want to hold on, he's my everything and so much more.

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A male reader, hany Egypt +, writes (8 November 2008):

hany agony auntI am sorry for that but like that more thinking mean more hard times for you. I think he took too much time from you and more than he deserved. I know it is not easy to say it but you must leave him immediately because you are now keep thinking of him and he is just making good time with another.

Some men like that if even things becomes good again you will always be worried about what will happen in the future and what will happen after 1 year or 5 years.

I am sure you deserve someone else who sharing your same amount of love and I am sure you will find him. Try to kill time these days by working or go out with some friends or even take a trip or make a journey.

I wish to you good luck!

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A female reader, Forever_His United States +, writes (8 November 2008):

Forever_His is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well I actually just found out today that he has been with another girl, so he's obviously just dating around right now. But still do I not deserve to hear from him that he is happy with someone else, instead of making me wait? That's what I don't understand about him. He told all of his ex's that wanted him back when he met someone and he was happy. His parents believe that if he felt that was he was doing was right and if he was happy, then he would have already brought this new girl to meet them. So in that, I really don't know what to do. It's not just his parents that love me, but his WHOLE family. He's done things to hurt me, but I will always love him. I'm the only girl that has never done him wrong, but I do not like the people he started hanging out with. He's 25, but he's got a lot of growing up to do. And as far as his son's mother goes, she hates him, and said so many mean things about him to me, not in person, but she did. But everyone says just to wait, that he will wake up and realize what he has with me. But when you love someone as much as I do this guy, it's hard to just let go. I would not be able to try and date other people right now, because my heart is taken and until he lets me go for good, then I can't just let him go. So is it wrong for me to think that he hasn't completely let go even if he has possibly moved on? I'm going crazy. I don't know how to deal with this anymore.

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A female reader, sarcy24 United Kingdom +, writes (7 November 2008):

sarcy24 agony auntYou may well be right and the crowd he is hanging with is leading him astray. If he is of that kind of character it doesn't take too much to be led. I know you really miss him and want him back and I do think he will come but i think you are going to have to wait. I would stop trying to find out about him and leave him to his own devices for a while, let him get on with it. He knows you are a good woman, his family does too and he knows where to find you when he wants to come back so just sit and wait it out. My only comment would be that the mother of his son says he abused her, fair enough women say a lot of things when they have been left with a child but tread very carefully. Abuse, not giving you any answers, his attraction to not very nice people, possible drug scene, disappearing, hooking up with a bad woman - be really careful. Most of all take this time out to think about you and what you really want in a man and put yourself and your thoughts and needs first for a while. I honestly don't think there is anything you can do apart from wait. All the best,

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A female reader, Forever_His United States +, writes (7 November 2008):

Forever_His is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Well thank you for your response. The relationship with his mother ended because she said he was abusing her and their child. Even if he was abusing her, I do not ever think that he would hit his own child. He was a baby at the time. I love this guy more than anything, have done everything that I possibly can for him. His parents and his family have not heard from him in weeks either. His parents & I are suspecting that his friends that he started hanging out with got him into drugs and that's why he may be with this new chick. He deserves better than that. His parents are great people, even they feel as if he's wanting us to be over for good, then he needs to tell me that and not say he loves me and just disappear. He's done something like this before, but he always comes back. I just really miss him.

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A female reader, sarcy24 United Kingdom +, writes (7 November 2008):

sarcy24 agony auntHoney, I do think you deserve an answer but I don't think you are going to get one. Men in the main are poor with communication and confrontation and put them together and you get nothing. He doesn't want to deal with his emotions, he probably is unsure himself why he did really break up with you. He sounds as if he could be one of these guys who hates being tied down or any kind of committment as he seems to be out there with other girls quick enough. Also as Hany said why did he leave the mother of his son? Are you sure you really know this guy. I am glad you get on well with his parents because if you want him back that will go in your favour. All I can say is don't be too keen when you see him, keep busy and make sure he sees you with other people and looking happy and that will give him food for thought. I really don't think you will get any reasons from him why you broke up and painful though it is I would stop worrying about this bit. I am still waiting to find out why my husband really left me and that is two years ago! It aint never coming!!

If you want him back just make sure he sees you as happy and behaving normally without him and don't go ringing him or pestering him to talk or to give you reasons as that will just push him further away. I actually think he will have second thoughts about losing you but in the meantime keep your chin up and just carry on as normal. All the best,

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A male reader, hany Egypt +, writes (7 November 2008):

hany agony auntlook before all thing you have to know every thing about his last marriage and why they devoured and these thing

i don't know why he asked you to separate for a while and if he really loves you he will talk to you about his concern and about his problems instead of time apart

think and search good about if he is have another relationships or not until you don't wast more time

I'm sorry for my English But I'm sure you will understand

it is not so bad

and i wish to you good luck

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