A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am currently in a very happy relationship, but my bf tells me he is goin to prospose to me on my 18th bday, 4 days time. Do you think that I am too young to get engaged?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am sure we will be very happy, Thansk again for all the great advice and thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. xx = ]
A
female
reader, Vickett0410 +, writes (18 June 2009):
 happy birthday :) and Congratulations :D
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): Happy birthday. I was so happy to read your going to get engaged. No your not to young to get engaged. I was 14 when I got engaged. And we were together until he died aged 46, 8 years ago and I still love him even though his not here anymore. Good luck to you both and I hope your be as happy together as me and my husband were.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi there, Thanks for all your comments again, I have decided that I am going to say yes. N thanks for saying happy birthday = ] I think i did just want reassurance but i was willing to listen to the people that didnt agree aswell. I am mature for my age but i think that can be a good thing just want to say thanks again, you have all gave me great advice. xx
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A
female
reader, Olivia(Y). +, writes (17 June 2009):
 If you love him and know you want to be with him for the rest of your life then your not to young to get engaged.
I got engaged when i 16 and we have been happily together ever since. I know 16 is young but it was just that feeling of knowing i wanted to be with him, if you feel that about your boyfriend then go for it :)
Happy birthday :)
Livia
xoxoxox
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A
female
reader, Vickett0410 +, writes (17 June 2009):
Well, after reading your followup then no it's my oppinion that it isn't too young :) You sound like a very mature 18 anyways :) And if it's what you want, then age shouldn't matter :D Yes, your only 18. But at 18 your old enough to know what you want and what you dont. And now to me, it sounds like you do want to, but you just wanted a little re-asurance. hope it all goes well for you :D
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): Hey, like I said, no one can tell you how ready you really are, but it soudns like you know. I don't see any harm in getting engaged in order to finalize your relationship and really engrave what you mean to each other.
I think you've thought it through enough, so good luck!
~SY.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all,
Thanks for your advice every bit of it was great good and bad, some more background info for you. I have been with him for 2 years and I have been living with him for a year. We have stable jobs and we both go out with our friend still. None of us want kids for a good few years yet as we are concentratin gon our careers. We do not plan on getting married for a long whilst yet. He said that he wants to show he is committed to me and take the next step. Yes a proposal is supposed to be a surprise but my best friend let me know in advance. We know each other bad habbits. Have a been questioning it? A little yes, I feel completely ready and we are lucky enough to know that both families would support us, I just wanted to know what other people may think, i know thats not important but I just wanted to know. Thanks again for all your comments if you have anything else to add after reading this, please dont hesitate to tell me good or bad. xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): no idnt think so ... just make it a long engagement and wait to make double sure ur right for each other and able to live to gether theres nothink like living together to know hoe ur bf will act when married...
so no ur not tooo young to be engaged just make sure to wait a while for the wedding
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female
reader, Emjo + ♥, writes (16 June 2009):
 Well i guess only you know the answer to this, but the fact your even asking the question motions towards the idea that your maybe not ready? But like i said only you know deep down what you truly want.
Age shouldnt matter too much but you will need to fully concider your future with this boy...
Can you see your self with him for the rest of your life?
Do you think your feelings will change? and so on...
Also dont forget that engagement doesnt mean immediate marriage...
if you dont feel you are ready you need to speak to him, explain this, maybe in a somewhat sugar coated way? so he's not offended...
Take care,
Em.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  + ♥, writes (16 June 2009):
 You life: a baby, toddler, child, teenager, gf, bethrothed, wife, mother, widow.
Each and everyone of them belonged to someone else. When did ever lead your own life? Perhaps this is what you want, but a lot of outsiders are going to see it as a young girl who goes straight from her parents to her husband. Your choice, but it wouldn't be mine.
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female
reader, mitta +, writes (16 June 2009):
Firstly Id ask how long have you been together? As you're young and Im guessing probably havent been together that long Id say it would be a wrong move to get engaged. You havent really experienced much of life yet... Im not suggesting you go and sleep around with lots of people! but you would shop around before buying a big expensive important item wouldnt you... Stay together abit longer and see if your relationship can really stand the test of time. Your life will change alot before it settles... college, perhaps uni, work, moving, new friends etc. Your relationship needs to be strong enough to withstand all of this.Also you need to contemplate the idea of NEVER being with anyone else. When you're young and in love this idea seems great... but when you've been with someone from a young age for so long... you might get a bit bored. I speak from my own experience as I was with someone for 4 years from the age of 15 and I got bored of him and we grew apart because he resented me having a life seperate from his...I wish you all the best though, and it can work out but you have to both be willing to sacrifice alot to stay together and it will be hard. But if you really are meant to be together then it will be worth it.Good luck!
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A
female
reader, bobbles32  +, writes (16 June 2009):
 We are all pessimists, but in the end it's your choice, we just hope that you make the right decision for yourself. It's far too often that young people get engaged and then actually stay together now a day, it was different in my grandparent's years. If you can imagine yourself NEVER dating another man, and you think that he's the one for you and you have NO DOUBTS whatsoever then do what's right for you. I also want you to realise that there's some doubt in your mind, because you came to a relationship help site and asked this question. I think you should tell him you need some more time to think about it.
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A
female
reader, laura585  +, writes (16 June 2009):
I think it depends on a lot more factors than just your age. Most 18 yr olds are not ready for marriage and that's why so many young marriages end in divorce. You need more than love to make a marriage last. You have to have common goals, common dreams, common values, and the willingness to work through anything together. Make sure he wants the same out of life that you do, even the smallest of issues will get bigger as time goes on. It's a decision only you and him can make, but since you're questioning it, you should really look inside yourself and figure out why, and no matter what be honest with him, let him know how you really feel about it so he can make decisions based on the facts as well.
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male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (16 June 2009):
 Yes you're too young. It would be completely pointless.
Ask yourself why does your boyfriend want to "own" you like this? You're 18. If you get engaged now you'll be having kids before you're 20. People only get engaged young early for one of two reasons:
1. They are insecure and want to tie their partner down.
2. They are religious and they want to do the nasty without god striking them down with lightning / giving them cancer / causing them to crash on the motorway (or however God dispenses justice nowadays.... he seems to have diversified away from plagues of locus)
Whatever, both are awful reasons to get engaged.
If you do get engaged then when you get to 25 you'll wonder why you threw the best years of your life away and while your friends are out partying, dating handsome rich men, or travelling the world you'll be a single mom at home looking after your kids (because I forgot to say, these things never last and your man will leave you at some point).
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): no you are not too young to get married. all that you need to know is THIS are you ready? is this what you want? can you handle it? what marriage is, what its all about, commitments, clashes/conflicts with the guy you love, how to resolve issues, what is expected of a commited partner in a marriage - you know dos and donts like cheating and how to handle it and etc and whether you are ready to accept that person for who he/she is despite their bad habits. that includes even the eekiest of things like picking his nose, leaving his clothes on the floor, etc.(luckily i wont have to worry about those coz hes smart) but do you get the picture?? OTHERWISE, BEST WISHES, MARRIAGE IS A WONDERFUL THING AND I DONT REGRET IT!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): There's no age limit to getting engaged.
There's a maturity limit however. You both have to be compeltely selfless, in love for all the right reasons, have no doubt whatsoever that you should be together forever. You should know very well the boundaries in your relationship, should have discussed importnant things like children, where you'd like to live, and life goals.
You have to be financially stable and able to support yourselves; have a car; a family willing to pay for the wedding and if they're aren't then enough to do it on your own.
But as far as being too young, no. Nobody here can tell you how you feel about him and how you feel about him. We have no right to doubt the love and strength of your relationship.
I was married at 18, my husband was 17. His parents married each other at 16. We are all very, very happy.
On the other hand, my brother got married at 18 and is separating 4 years later. My mom got married in college and divorced.
It depends on your relationship and how well you both know what it takes to be in one for the rest of your lives.
~SY.
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (16 June 2009):
 The question is do you think you are too young to get engaged?
I got engaged at the age of 19 and I was single before I was 20, I'm now 29 and happily married, and I couldn't imagine how bad it would have been to get married at such a young age.
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A
female
reader, Vickett0410 +, writes (16 June 2009):
Well, it depends on you I think.If your both serious, and you both never want to ever be with anybody else and can't even imagine being with anybody else then okays. But aswel as age you also have to think about wether your actually ready for this or not?At 18 don't you want to live it up a little before setteling down? But, if you don't and your sure and it wont put any pressure on the relationship in your eyes. then go for it. :) But, really. No matter what we all say. Your the only one that knows if its too young, and if your on here asking us (no offence) then you must be doubting it. Maybe you subconsiously feel its too soon and want one of us to say it is so you feel better?When it comes down to it, it's your life, its your decision :) All the best :D
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A
female
reader, bobbles32 +, writes (16 June 2009):
Yup, it probably won't work if so much pressure is put on the relationship that early. How long have you two been dating? And isn't a proposal supposed to be a surprise?
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female
reader, niki20 +, writes (16 June 2009):
 i dont think so. as long as you leave room for your relationship to grow. i was married at nineteen so i dont believe that your to young. people of course will say differantly. i get your so young why are you married blah blah but i think its stupid. if you feel you love him and everything there is no reason not to get engaged. its hard i will warn you. theres sacrifice and everything but you two love eachother and thats the road you want to walk, go for it. no were does it say you cant wait to actually get married stay engaged for a while and get a feel for what it would be like and go from there. cangrats ahead of time.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 June 2009):
 I do.
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A
female
reader, Boogs +, writes (16 June 2009):
As a general rule I think you probably are yes. Of course there are plenty of people who get engaged/marry young and are very happy together. The trouble is that at your age you think you know who you are but you'll change so much during the next 5-10 years and so will your boyfriend; the question is, will you both grow in the same direction? I got engaged at your age and whilst I don't regret it for a second I am soooo glad we didn't get married (and later split), I've just turned 28 and wouldn't want to have a divorce behind me. Try living together for a while first if you can and if you decide you're not ready yet talk to him before he proposes. Best of luck.
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