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Do you think he has a tendency for homosexual games?? Or am I over-reacting?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 December 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 3 January 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, *olita writes:

Dear friends,

Your opinion is valuable and always taken into consideration. many thanks in advance!!

I dont know how to write this in plain English. I have been dating this guy for three weeks. Even though i like him, i'm a bit skeptical about his sexual preferences..he has asked me to lick his ass..( hole) because he likes it and gets aroused by this, as he told me. Sex is supposed to be exciting during the initial stages of dating someone..when your partner starts asking you this kind of games so early then you are just wondering where this is going.. I dont want to say that the guy might be bisexual, but i suppose he might have a tendency for this kind of homosexual games!! What's going to happen in a couple of months when conventional sex becomes a routine for him? He might also ask me to use my fingers or insert some objects there, in which case i really dont want to be with him....What do you think my firends? Am i right? or do i exaggerate??

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A female reader, lolita United Kingdom +, writes (3 January 2011):

lolita is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Dear friends,

many thanks for your thoughful answers. The guy actually insists on asking me to do this before proceeding to penetration. So i suppose this is something very important for him!! Also,it seems that he only likes the doggy position, another possible sign of his bisexual orientation, i suppose ( hardly have we tried the missionary position). If these are not signs of bisexual tendencies, what are they? Am i over-reacting?? many thanks!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010):

All of us have e.coli...you have it, he has it, and if you get oral from him he gets yours. Bacteria are profoundly all over everything.

Licking assholes is a behavior that some people like and some people get aroused by, it doesn't have anything to do with sexual orientation.

BUT, make sure he has bathed and washed well before you lick it.

BEFORE YOU EVEN CONSIDER LICKING HIS, TRY THIS BELOW.

However, before you do lick it, bathe well, very well, wash your asshole well, and when you and he have sex have him lick yours to see what, if anything, it does for you. You might find that you like it, you might not.

If he won't lick yours, THEN DON'T LICK HIS AND MOVE ON.

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A male reader, Honest Answer United States +, writes (31 December 2010):

Honest Answer agony auntThis is how I see it. You only have 3 weeks invested in this guy. If he is creeping you out, I say move on. If he is this open (sexually) in 3 weeks, I can only imagine what is in store down the road when you two are really comfortable with each other.

Good Luck!

jeff

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A female reader, ThatsMyCookie United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2010):

ThatsMyCookie agony auntFirstly you really need to calm down. He only asked you to do one thing, and already you have jumped to the conclusion that he is homosexual and youre considering wether you should leave him!

Everyone has some sexual preferences and we all find out what makes us feel good when having sex. He knows this works for him and he'd like you to do it - what does that have to do with being gay? Just because you think a relationship should be all about exploring in the beginning doesn't mean this one isnt. He has only asked you for one thing, he's not acting as if you were an old married couple. Also, finding out what the other likes IS exploring.

As for what you think he MIGHT ask you to do - has he actually asked you to do any of this yet?

Finally, he is in a relationship with YOU, and if he didn't want to be he wouldn't. Dont have so many doubts :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010):

Homosexual games?

I think your imagination might be a bit over-active. Perhaps the more important issue you are not addressing is that you just don't enjoy licking his asshole. Perhaps this means you both are sexually incompatible, but it doesn't make him gay.

Some people just like anal stimulaiton...I've had a boyfriend who enjoyed light pressure or a little finger and some women enjoy it as well.

Licking his asshole does not neccesarily make him a homosexual, however, it is a pretty reliable way to get e. coli. If you don't like it, don't do it.

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