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Do you think being set up on blind dates will help me?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 May 2015) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2015)
A male United States age 26-29, *haneblastedskyhigh writes:

im kinda shy guy....i cant talk to girls. i try and try but i fail. im not that social but the friends i have are very supporting and they are very good to me....like me n my friends have a strong bond. im cool to talk to my female friends but not with strangers or the ones i had crush on. my friends want me to be social with girls. they are arranging blind dates for me so that i get a bit loose and dont be shy but i don't think this will help. i think i can be with one girl,forever rather than being out on these dates. do you guys think it will help me?

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A male reader, shaneblastedskyhigh United States +, writes (1 June 2015):

shaneblastedskyhigh is verified as being by the original poster of the question

shaneblastedskyhigh agony auntthanks for the advice guys....I'll give it a shot.

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A female reader, MaskOn United Kingdom +, writes (30 May 2015):

MaskOn agony auntSince you have such a good relationship with your friends, why don't you try having practise dates with one of your girl friends?

Actually, you could even have one with a guy if you feel comfortable enough and close enough to ask him. As they're all supporting you to try and get you dates, I can't see them refusing but I don't know them personally so I don't know how it will turn out.

This should help you get the basics down and take any tips and criticisms for real dates in the future. Be sure to state that it's just training to your friends if you definitely don't want a relationship with them and misleadingly get there hopes up. Don't offend them when telling them this though.

The blind dates idea sounds great but I would recommend doing this beforehand as a blind date is still a date. And don't worry if it doesn't work out the first time, you'll just have to overcome it and try again.

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (28 May 2015):

olderthandirt agony auntYp,I agree with theothers... o for it. Avoding girls will not help you to overcome your shyness.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (27 May 2015):

CindyCares agony aunt I think it can help you enormously, if you modify your expectations. Like, of finding the one forever . Not that's impossible that you may have a lucky strike, some people HAVE found their soulmates through a blind date.

But- do not start with this lofty goal. Tell yourself ... the truth : that you need practice. It's only practice that makes perfect, and obviously you need practicing being social, making conversation with women, approaching them confidently etc.

See it as a way of getting to know hopefully nice people, and in the process also learning to loosen up, as your friends say, becoming more self confident, and honing your social skills.

THAT will help you a lot in future with " real " ( i.e. arranged by yourself, not by your friends ) dates, in case this round of blind dates should not give immediate results.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (26 May 2015):

Honeypie agony auntTry it. Talk to whomever is setting you up first so you KNOW something about the date and HER interests, that way you can find some subjects to bring up.

It might NOT work for you, but really... you got nothing to lose by trying it.

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A female reader, janniepeg Canada +, writes (26 May 2015):

janniepeg agony auntMy cousin met her husband through a blind date. You never know where one of these dates would lead you so don't dismiss them as just "these dates." On a date you try to get to know each other, like family background, life goals, hobbies etc. You are allowed to be nervous and stutter, but there is no excuse to not knowing what to say when the basic thing is to get to know her and let a general topic branch out. You don't need to be a social butterfly to show interest in the other person, just basic manners.

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