A
female
age
13-15,
oneFOOTwrong
writes:I've been searching the word "teacher" on DearCupid, and I've noticed that firstly...1) Most of the people asking questions are female2) They say they "love" their teacher.The thing is, when these people say they're in love with their teacher, I don't see how (unless they're actually in a proper relationship with them - which is illegal anyway). If you've got feelings for someone, it's called A CRUSH/FANCYING SOMEONE, BEING IN LOVE is when you're in love with someone, who loves you back, and you're in a relationship.You may ask - why am I searching the word "teacher" on DearCupid? Well, I have a crush (I'm not in love, as most members put) on one of my teachers, it's just a small crush, I'm NOT obsessed (unlike some), I am NOT going to send this teacher a Valentine's card, I am NOT going to tell him how I feel and I am NOT going to send him a poem/follow him to his house (he doesn't live anywhere near my school anyway, so that would be a bit difficult)/find out his email address or FaceBook.Teacher crushes are disapproved as well, but they don't do any harm unless that person who has a crush becomes OBSESSED, but I've never got OBSESSED with someone I've had a crush on, I never get to the extreme stages. The good thing about having teacher crushes is that your marks are probably amazing, whilst you're trying to impress them. If you want to impress a teacher, that's the way to do it, to make them like you (and not like as in having a crush on you), just get very good marks, like I have, and be approchable. My teacher and I talk quite a bit, and I try to pay attention during his lessons, and because of that, I've got a really good report from him.My conclusion pretty much is, teacher crushes don't do any harm, and are just a bit of fun, unless you become obsessed and torment yourself over the fact you can never really be with them (unless your teacher is a pervert, in that case - run! ha).
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2009): Yes, I totally agree that it is not 'love', just a crush and just admiring.
I think we are both in a same situation ^_^ I am NOT obsessed wtih my teacher nor stalk him everyday!I just like his classes and the way he teaches =) I respect him a lot! ^^
But I do still have this thought back in my mind that it is kind of wrong to hav a crush on a teacher, although you are not doing anything 'harmful' to them. He is way older than me, but there is this thing that attracts me to him...I dont know what it is, but difenetly not his look! Hehe :P
A
female
reader, anonymousgirl09  +, writes (28 January 2009):
i used to know this boy, who i became incredibly close too, i realised a little too late that i'd loved him. This sadly, was after i'd found out he loved me and before i realised my feelings he had moved on. However, the teacher i like, i love more than i did this boy. Thats how i know its serious. I care about him so much and try to do everything in my power to stop myself doing something stupid because i don't ever want to see him sad. He doesnt have a family, and he helped me out of one of my darkest moments. He means the world to me and i respect him so much that i refuse to do anything about it, even though it hurts and it sometimes seems he loves me too. Not all us are teacher obsessed freaks like you say. We cant choose who we fall in love with and neither can our teachers. We are just human and are not to blame for the way in which our hearts take us. I love him and i wish i didnt, because i know nothing can come of it, and if it did, he could get hurt. And i don't want that. In fact, him being sad hurts me more than knowing i'll never have him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2008): I do love my teacher, but unlike so many of the other posters on this site, I do not want him romantically. I don't wish for him to leave his wife and children and I don't want him sexually.
I admire, respect, trust and care for him AND his wife AND his children as if they were my own family.
I consider him one of my greatest friends and my role model and my parental figure.
I don't think it is wrong to have a crush on your teacher, but I think if you TRULY cared about them, you would NEVER EVER even THINK about them leaving or giving up their family for you. That is so unbelievably selfish, and it is not love like so many of them claim.
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female
reader, MuffinGirl  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 Ok my comment may be a bit long and too direct, so i'm sorry if I would sound rude which is not my attention.
I still didn't get the point, why you guys so much talk about differences between words love, crush, infatuation, .. I mean, it wouldn't change much if we will know the name of our feeling. Anyway, love or crush - whatever it is, it's something that we feel strongly and that could hurt us on many different ways. I agree, we shouldn't use word love or telling how much we are "in love" so often, but in my opinion readers shouldn'pay so much attention on that. It is feeling, it is something strong inside us, no matter how long will last. I know from my experiences how painful and stressful is to be in love with a person who you know you won't be able to be with. Or at least, you shouldn't have anything "unprofessional" with him. And teachers are also humans, they may develope feelings for one of their student although they know it would be impossible to be with. Some of them never feel anything serious or deeper, but some of them just can't help themself. Student and teacher with feelings for each other had a bad luck- they meet in a wrong place, time, situation so they can't be together till student's graduation. It's sucks and it's terrible.
I think that all of students, whose having crushes or are "in love" should ask themself, if they would be still attracted to their teacher if he would be for example his father's friend or cool waiter downstairs in the bar. Or are they attracted to him, because they know they shouldn't be and the fact that he's in position of authority made him even more sexy.
After that answering they would know if it's serious or it's just a lust. Even it is crush- and crush CAN BE serious and painful too, besides that people may become obssesed with person they're attracted to. I really hope that your feelings are just a lust - for many of you it would be better if it would be because lust goes away as soon as we're not able to see that person anymore.
I have to admit, that i have crush on my teacher too and the fact that he's my teacher only bothers me. I would be very happy if i've met him in different situation. So that's how i know this is more serious and i'm just waiting him to give me more signs that he could actually like me (at least in my imagination). I know this is horrible and selfish, because he's married but i just can't help myself. I hope my feelings will be forget as soon as i left school or i meet somebody new. This situation don't make my life any better, except on days when i see him (and that's very very rare). So that IS problem and people should take our crushes more serious because we can become depressed or obssesive because of them (thank god i'm not).
However, I like your point of view and the way how you look on the whole situation with your teacher, you're very realistic about it and i'm glad that you have better marks because of him. So i guess your feeling is very positive, but if you will get the chance to be with him, please think twice before doing something which you may regret. If you want, e-mail me.
Good luck.
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female
reader, smartazngirl  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 It sounds like you're a really smart person, that's good. Well, I guess I'm one of those girls who say they "love" their teachers. And I do, actually.I love one teacher most in the world. But, notice that I say "love", and not "in love", because I know the kind of "love" I have for my teacher isn't romantic love. I have a different form of love for my teacher. It's a little like a crush, but at the same time, someone who's really important to me. I wish I could explain the whole story of why I love him so much, but I don't want anyone I know in reality (who knows him or me), reading this. But I'll just give a quick summary. He made me smile, a smile that came from deep down inside my heart, and actually made me started crying the tears of joy, when I was in my darkest moments. That's why I love him so much, and not in love with him. =)I hope that explains my reasons for loving him so much. I'm sure that not everyone have just a "crush" on their teachers.
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female
reader, *Angle* +, writes (11 December 2008):
 Vamp- Your rite! (the guys maturing later than us 100%! lol)Have you really never seen a teacher and thought he/shes hot? Thats what most of the girls in our school think about. But this teacher is like so AMAZING I guess you can't really answer those kind of questions until you know what it feels like.It sucks.
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A
female
reader, vamp-gal + ♥, writes (8 December 2008):
 Okay, I know I've replied to this before, but apparently it hasn't worked.
So, I'm going to do it again :).
Hey,
Well, some people who have crushes on their teachers, may have never experienced love, so when they have a crush on someone, they automatically think they're in love.
It doesn't have any age, most likely teenage years, you're growing into being a more mature person, and your body is making you feel crazy things.
I don't think I've ever been through that phase
*thinks* teachers..teachers..
Nope, none, that I can think of, which I am, pretty thankful for :).
But, I guess, you can't really help how you feel, and if people think they're in love, love makes people do crazy things, things they wouldn't do, if they were in the right frame of mind.
It is probably more women having these feelings towards there teachers, because, I'm pretty sure, not always true, just what I learnt, women tend to go/fall for older guys, because they are more mature, and guys don't mature as fast as women do..
(Guys, don't kill me, 15, saying what I learnt in science, in like, year 9) (year 11 now)
Anyway, people can't help how they feel, it's just life, and you never know what life has in store for you.
Nice article by the way :)
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A
male
reader, Neeraj060  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 By reading your article it trult seems that either you or somebody close to you has a crush on someone.The fact is when you are young every thing exites you and as you grow old you start to realize that things are not so exciting.rightly said when people say they love there teacher it is not to be married to them it is actual a crush.This happens because you start looking at there good side ....and how polite and good mannered they are....Do ask yourelf your your frineds how many of them like teachers that are Rude and how many of they would like to have Sex or have a Crush on them and your question will be answered.
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A
female
reader, *Angle* +, writes (7 December 2008):
I think we've all been through that phase lol! I guess thats what most people with those problems dont get ITS JUST A PHASE!!! I've only ever had a crush on one teacher hes atleast ten years older but looks like a famous actor that I lust for even acts like him too! But like I said its just a phase. I just feel sorry for the unexpecting child that gets perved on by an older man or women taking advantage of them.
Later xx
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