A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm working overseas and have been here for a little over a month. The first few weeks my boyfriend and I were emailing each other and everything was fine. He was frustrated that it took me almost a month to get my phone connected to be able to call and text him. Then he was mad at me and demanded I share my location with him to prove to him where I am. I did as he asked and thought everything was fine. But he still gets mad easily when I text him asking how he is and wanting to chat.. he said I annoy him because he was driving and using his GPS. I told him I didn't know he was driving or I wouldn't have texted. Then I asked him to text me in the evenings when he has time but he never does. It's been a week and he never texts me in the evenings and will only reply when I text him.. sometimes we'd chat for about 30mins other times he just gets mad cuz I'm disturbing him while he's driving. When we do text or talk on the phone he does tell me he misses and loves me and he laughs so happily when I tell him I miss and love him.I've stopped texting him for 2 days waiting for him to take the initiative to text me.I spoke to his sister in law who lives with him and she says he's home locked in his room most of the time and doesn't appear to have a new girlfriend.I know it's hard on the both of us, because we used to be very close prior to me going to work overseas. But I will be home in less than 2 months.Do you know why he's not taking the initiative to contact me? What should I do?
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (26 July 2017):
 He seems like a child throwing a tantrum.
Honestly OP, he seems very petty. If he can get mad at you for texting at times that are not convenient for him then he needs to sit down and figure out whether he wants to be in a relationship with you or not. He should be happy when you text. He should want to hear your voice. Instead he just keeps throwing a hissy fit. Perhaps the whole distance thing isn't for him and he just doesn't know how to tell you straight up.
I'd wait for him to text you and then talk to him about your concerns.
If he still acts crazy, then perhaps he just isn't for you.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (26 July 2017):
 Schedule Skype/Facetime "dates" (once a week) and other than that... STICK to texting that way HE is safe when driving and have no RELA reason to get so pissy with you.
I would also send him some goofy postcards. It's easy to do - you buy 10, and 10 stamps - then you can write them all in a day or 3 and mail one at a time.
And if this is how he behaved because you are overseas for a couple of months it really doesn't bode well in the trust department (on both ends).
I agree with WiseOwle if he becomes more passive-aggressive and childish - leave him be. And WHEN he then gets in touch and ask WHY you haven't called/texted or whatnot... BE honest. Tell him he is RUINING things with his attitude. That the separation is as HARD for you as it is for him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2017): Your boyfriend isn't holding-up well under the long-distance relationship. Some people just aren't cut-out for it, and they suffer from the separation-anxiety. Your boyfriend seems a little petty and childish, even unreasonable.
If he's not contacting you, he's being a baby-man and pouting.
Let him sulk! Go about your daily-business and routines. He's locked-away in his room missing you. Guys who are over-sensitive are a pain in the ass. They don't deal well with feeling emotional; so they get angry and touchy. Instead of letting-on how sad he is, he tries to act all tough! He's scared you'll find somebody else.
Send him letters. Write down your thoughts, tell him what your days are like; but don't mention missing him. Use nice envelopes and stationary. Add your perfume or kiss the bottom of the letter with your lipstick. Things will change, he has to adjust to the separation.
If he gets worse, and becomes mean and disrespectful. Cut-off contact for awhile. He needs to get it together and man-up! Don't give-into his silent treatments. That's manipulation to keep you uneasy, because you're too far out of reach. If he wants to give you dead-air, let there be dead-air. You've got to stay focused on what you're doing.
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