A
male
age
16-17,
*evinHeatsJustin
writes:"I'm pretty much 100% openly gay at my highschool. I'm so girly that people have known, and grown to accept it. I met this boy my freshman year, and I immediately fell for him. I know it's love and not just lust, because he is not the best looking(he's very cute but not the cutest)guy at my school. No, what makes me love him is some magical quality he has that no boy I have ever encountered had. I dream about him all the time. He was always nice to me and we weren't super close or anything, but he treated me like a friend, as I did him. There were small signs that he was gay, he is slightly effeminate. When he got a girlfriend, I lost control. I was so angry and jealous, I spread a vicous rumor about her. That is so unlike me, I have never purposely tried to hurt anyone before. Ask anyone, I'm a total sweetheart, I'd never hurt a fly! Once he found out I liked him, and about the rumors I spread, he completely ignored me. Once he told me not to talk to him. But I still didn't get the message... On Valentines Day, I had a friend put a valentine from me into his locker.(His magical-ness makes me do things I never would normally do!) This made him even madder...He also hates that I write his initials hundreds of times on my folders. I realized whether it would make the boy forgive me or not, I had to apologize to his GF. Once I did, she was completely forgiving, and said it was ok and that she didn't really care in the 1st place. I had a friend ask if he was still mad and he said "yes". That friend told him I apologized to his GF, he said he didn't care. This boy is not the typical rude, obnoxious highschool boy, he is on the basketball team, but is very sensitive and swe et. How am I suppose to stop loving him? I'm so head-over-heals for him, even though I know he wants nothing to do with me, I still love him. His smile sets my heart on fire!!! What can I do? Do you have any idea why he hates the fact that I love him? I'm gay and my 2 best friends are girls that have crushes on me and I don't care 1 bit!" Thank you. "
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best friend, crush, jealous Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xcharlottex  +, writes (1 July 2008):
No matter How tempting it is to talk to him, even to apologise, Dont. Stay away from him. If you force yourself upon him anymore you will only get even more hurt. Think about this, if you were a girl and you did that you would be the queen b**ch, not too mention come off as slightly insane and stalkerish it has nothing to do with whether he's straight or gay, it's the way you acted. (I did slightly the same thing when I had my 1st breathtaking crush, where you like them so much you can't even point out any flaw of theirs.) You should stay completely away, act as if you're completely over him, maybe find yourself a boyfriend? Just dont stay in every night eating choclate & watching romcoms (thats what I did and BOY did I pay for it!...with a 20lb weight gain :|) Just make sure you act completely over him, & I mean if hes not smart enough to see how lucky he would be to have you then dont waste any more time on him.
A
female
reader, ChicaBlusera +, writes (1 July 2008):
It's so painful when we love someone who can't reciprocate and I understand your pain and anger. It was wrong to spread a rumor about the gf, but big of you to apologize. It doesn't sound to me like he's gay, I'm sorry, but I would distance myself if it's painful to be around him. It doesn't mean that you're not attractive or worthy of being loved, he's just... straight. I would tell him to his face that you're sorry about the rumor, and tell him that you still want to be friends. I'm a straight girl, and if a lesbian were attracted to me I would be flattered, I would feel bad because I'm straight and her feelings would get hurt but I guess that's inevitable. I hope that my advice helps.
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A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 It looks to me like this lad is not gay, and he may feel that you have emasculated him by liking him - this is /not/ your fault.
As a heterosexual teenage boy, it is very likely that he is going to suffer from some amount of homphobia. By having an openly gay lad like yourself like him, it then puts that question mark over his own sexuality. He may well endure teasing from other lads because of this - teenage boys are taught that it's a good thing to be liked by girls, because it reinforces their status as a studly heterosexual man. Being liked by another boy is therefore going to be a source of embarassment for this lad, like it or not.
It is /not/ your fault that he feels this way, or that he hasn't learned how to respond to something like this.
Either way, it's the same for all genders and preferences in this case - he's not interested, so try your best to move on, and good luck to you.
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