A
female
age
16-17,
xotifahox
writes:There's this guy that I really like, lets call him D. We met on an online game. I felt that I had a connection with him, so we exchanged pictures and email addresses (well, he didn't have one before so he made one especially for me). He's from Italy, I'm from the UK.We began to chat on an IM frequently.One day, he told me that he had to tell me something. It's best to see the conversation for yourselves so I'll post some parts of it. It's kinda long, but it should provide enough detail. ('T' is meant to be me by the way. Bear in mind that he's Italian and his English isn't immaculate):D says:now problably u ill think im a stupid but.... i have to tell u what i think. I like u, i think u are cute but... i think we cant date.....Dont hate me, there are some problems.....i think u are the best girl i have never met. What problems are? We are too far. I mean i dont want make u suffer, u need a boy who is next to you and can see u all the days to love u for real. Im sure u will suffer if we date, im just thinking about our happiness(expecially yours).T says:I don't think that I'll find another boy like you. All boys over here are overly sexual, or cheaters. I know that you're different, I don't want to lose youD says:i dont want to lose u too but im afraid that if we keep on liking eachother so much one day we will both sufferT says:There are ways to see each otherD says:sure but its hard.... D says:i really like u trust me! But im thinking about the future. I know u are disappointed im just thinking about you and your happyness, really, hate me if you want, do it, but please dont suffer a lotT says:I don't hate you, I really like you a lotT says:I don't know who to think about in my spare time nowD says:u have to yell out! u should be angry with me!T says:It's not your fault, it's my fault that I was born in the UK, and I can't be with youD says:nah its my fault coz im problaby too immature or too mature (so in anyway im wrong)T says:Nah, it's my fault for being so determined to make this workD says:no, how can you say its your fault????????????!!! I hope u dont think that for real!!! THE FAULT ITS ONLY MINE T.TT says:Ok, it's your fault for being a caring, romantic, cute, funny, perfect boyD says:so its your fault for the same reasonsT says:If I didn't meet you, I wouldn't know what perfection isD says:..... perfection doesnt exist, if i were perfect for you... we would probably dateT says:You're perfect in my eyesD says:u are perfect in my heartD says:even if perfection doesnt existD says:i hope u will remember me as a nice boy, but you wont suffer....T says:So, we wont talk anymore? D says:sure we will!!!![...]I couldn't wait until thursday when we established to talk again, but he didn't show up. Months passed, he still didn't show. I started getting really curious so I investigated (sneakily)and I found out that he blocked me on the IM and on the game. When people are blocked, it displays the person that blocked you as offline. On the online game, it said that he was offline, but yet I could see him standing right there in front of me, Lol! He didn't realise. But when he did realise, you should've seen how fast he closed down the game to get away from me. Do you believe that he was genuine when he said that he cares about me and he likes me, or was he talking a load of rubbish to lead me on?? Why do you think he's avoiding me?Thank you for your time :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): aww poor thing i hope you find a nicer guy, i mean it ain't really his fault, i've done this to someone b4 and i kno how it feels, it feels bad, guilty, i try to avoid him so he doesn't think about me well he was really sweet and i cant blame D and i think he really is telling the truth, he luvs you and he wants u 2 4 get bout him and get a more possible guy, its hard especially when ure a teenager and starts getting curious bout 'THINGS'. but plz don't keep it in, u will burst and try and also try and put urself in his shoes, its nobody's fault and that convo woz really romantic and i think dat woz one of the best ways to tell sum1 dat. plz cheer up because there r other fishes in the sea.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  + ♥, writes (5 May 2008):
 You do have a point, dear. But, when something like this happens, everything breaks your heart.
Just keep going. Some day that big heart of yours will be filled to overflow.
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A
female
reader, xotifahox +, writes (5 May 2008):
xotifahox is verified as being by the original poster of the question Lol, in the full conversation he said that he'll always be there for me and if anyone troubles me, give him their number. But how can I when we can't talk to each other?
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A
female
reader, xotifahox +, writes (5 May 2008):
xotifahox is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah, I guess so... Thank you for your advise everyone. I understand that long distance relationships are hard, but the thing that hurt me most was when he avoided me. I would feel a lot better if he told me that he didn't want to speak to me again instead of making me wait for so long.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew + ♥, writes (5 May 2008):
It is clear that he thought a long-distance relationship wouldn't work. He may have come to this conclusion because of reasons of his own, or reasons regarding you, or both. In any case, even if he were selfish, the relationship would need two people trying, and there would only be one.
I will give him a point: he was clear. You know what to expect from him.
On the other hand, you are very young (maybe he is, too) and I don't think you can make long-term decisions just yet. You will go to the university, and so will he. You have long years of not seeing each other ahead of you. Maybe he thought about all this, and found it best if you two split. I'm sorry, but I have to say I agree with him.
Sometimes you can come across a special person who would be perfect for you if only the circumstances were different. Either she is too young or too old, has commitments that you can't really fulfill, lives very far away, needs to do things with her life, is married,... whatever. The list can go on and on. It feels nice to fight tooth and nail for someone you love. It is proof of real love. However, sometimes the obstacles ahead are so big, or the inconveniences so great, that it becomes clear, after a while, that such a relationship is impossible.
When that happens, it is the moment to recognize it so, and move on. I speak from experience, dear.
What no one can take away from you is that you tried. That is who you are. You don't give up easily when you love. I sincerely praise you for that. One day, when you're older, you will look back at your life, and you will feel happy that you were so moved by heart and passion.
Maybe you can send him a letter or something, and bid him farewell. Anywhere he is, your love will be with him. And perhaps sometime you will be friends.
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A
female
reader, Deema + ♥, writes (5 May 2008):
 Well, in reading that I think he was being very honest, very sensible and very kind. It is true. You're a long way from him, you can't pop round and go to the pub for a drink. You'll be spending long hours on the net, pining for him - just like you are now - with nothing but a few e mails or texts to show for it. He's being fair, he can see the pit falls. He too obviously wants someone near that he can hug, take out, have fun with. Trust me I've been in a long distance relationship. Its very tough. The paranoia starts creeping in when he doesn't call - you're doing ti already - you start wondering if he can do without a female while you're not there. Listen hun, its just not worth it, in my opinion. Go on facebook or somewhere and find someone closer to home. It may all sound romantic this Italian over there in the sun - but is it romantic christmas, birthdays and holidays when you're alone and he's too far away to comfort you? Think again love, life is short. good luck.
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