A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:OK, here are a few questions for you all about ex's.1. Do you believe it is possible to be 'just' friends with your ex without any feelings of jealousy when either of you move >2. Should you both just make a complete fresh start from each other?3. If your new partner sees your ex as a threat who should you be loyal to?4. If there are children involved from previous relationships should you allow them to still see your ex?Would appreciate anybody's thoughts on these questions. Many thanks.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2007): As hard as it can be, yes I believe it is possible.
I had a child with my first love when we were young, and we made a good go of it but we eventually split up. Because of our little boy we will always have to be a part of each others lives.
We are both older, wiser, both have families of our own now, who are understanding about our past.
Its like one big happy family now, whenever I go out for a "girls night" his wife comes with me, shes a wonderful woman and a great step-mom and mom in her own right.
If you can make understanding and forgiving part of who you are, it shouldnt be too hard to accept that people change and just because it didnt work our between you two, doesnt mean either one of you arent deserving of love and respect.
PS I gave this example but I am friends with other ex's as well, lest you think its ONLY because of our child.
A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (30 April 2007):
 I personally think that is one of the hardest things to do. Remaining friends with your ex has too many emotions attached to it as well as jealousy. Especially if it after a long relationship where the bond between two people has grown too close. The idea is commendable but to pull it off is a totally different matter.
It is possible, I know a few who still see each other, but mainly becuase of children from that relationship.
If it works it works, but you must be able to deal with the emotions that spring from seeing the ex with other people.
Starting afresh as has been already said is a harder road to travel, but over time will be beneficial to yourself and others.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (30 April 2007):
 1. Over the years I have managed to stay friends with only one of my exes, so I would say it's possible but difficult. I occassionally get jealous when he's with someone if I'm single but its got easier as time goes on. At first I would cry from jealousy, now it's just a pang.
2. Making a complete fresh start is harder initially but in the long term I think it's a better option in most circumstances.
3. If my ex was a friend and I knew that my current boyfriend had nothing to worry about I'd try to get them together so my boyfriend could see there was nothing between us. I'd never drop a friend for a boyfriend though.
4. If an ex wanted to carry on seeing the kids I would allow him to on a supervised basis. Unless he had an ulterior motive for seeing the kids then I think it's good for both parties to keep seeing each other. It must be hard for kids to have people in their lives who suddenly disappear.
Hope all these help.
CD
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