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Do you believe a married man when he tells you what a witch his wife is?

Tagged as: Cheating, Forbidden love, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 April 2008) 19 Answers - (Newest, 25 March 2015)
A female United Kingdom age , *ouweez23 writes:

To women who are having an affair with a married man. Do you believe your married man when he is telling you what an evil B*tch his wife is and how you are so much nicer and how much he loves you?

View related questions: affair, married man

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2015):

Certainly, or else he wouldn't be having affair. Is she were a woman that was the polar op site to what he described her then he wouldn't be in my bed. He would be in hers.

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A female reader, Cupidid United Kingdom +, writes (24 March 2015):

Of course you believe him .... especially when the wife is an evil bitchFor whatever reason, I have always been the girl that guys talk to. Like really talk to. I think it’s because I don’t have this princess complex lots of girls have, I don’t make them put on airs about who they are and what they want in my presence just because I have a vagina. The result of this is that I’m privy to the details of my friends and coworkers and acquaintances’ marriages that women as a whole are really unfamiliar with, and I have two things to say about that: way more men cheat than I ever imagined, and I can’t really blame them.Honestly, why wouldn’t you cheat on someone who became stale and monotonous and was constantly trying to turn you into the same? Women want to live this suburban Leave It To Beaver life, when no one in their right mind would be interested in that. Affairs are the consequences of your actions if you leave everything to be desired. It’s not shocking or evil, it’s a symptom of a disease you yourself are a part of creating.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008):

Actually my wife is very nice. She is also kind and sweet. She takes care of the house, the bills, the kids, her job, her friends, she quilts, bakes, reads, goes to school. I love her madly and have helped her study to get her BS. I've provided her two lovely homes and one rental property. She is the only person I know, talk to or hang out with. But I am at the bottom of the priority list, even when I do make it on the list. No, sometimes the perfect wife is really great to everyone and everything around them except for the one person they should be great to.

Listen to his lies? How about just listen to him. If they are lies you'll know soon enough, then YOU can make your judgment. Sometimes little Miss Perfect is anything but, except in appearances.

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A female reader, rorowes United States +, writes (27 April 2008):

rorowes agony auntMy philosophy is, why would I want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me? Don't accept half of his heart just to save your marriage. Look out for yourself, and the children, if there are any. Remind him that he will never get rid of you totally. Not financially anyway....hehe.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (26 April 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntWhen a man Marries his Mistress, he creates a job opening. Let her have him. It would serve her right to get the same treatment that he has put you through. You deserve better Hunnie. Life is short and you should take this opportunity to find a bit of happiness for yourself.

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A female reader, bfly36 United States +, writes (26 April 2008):

bfly36 agony auntI have a friend that has been in this situation for 5 years and it has taken so much out of her. Why do we have to wait on them to see what they decide, meanwhile years and months are passing and we r just here. I suggest if counseling does not work, u see what works for you so you can move on and be with someone that deserves you, i know you are married and you love him but it takes 2 dedicated people that love each other to make a marriage work. Good luck and stay strong.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008):

It provide hope that he is unsure, this will give you time to present your side. Good luck!

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A female reader, louweez23 United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2008):

louweez23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

louweez23 agony auntWe arenot living together at the moment. He walked out last October but although he says they weren't sleeping together before I know he has been involved with her since last August. This is the same woman he had an emotional affair with 3 years ago.

But I AM trying to repair our marriage in counselling and he is still saying he is not sure who he wants to be with.

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A female reader, bfly36 United States +, writes (25 April 2008):

bfly36 agony auntI hope ur not planning to stay with this man while he is with this other woman. Let the other woman deal with his lies and manipulation.

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A female reader, rorowes United States +, writes (25 April 2008):

rorowes agony auntI had that same thing happen to me from my guy, and he was telling a bunch of lies to the grl he was IM'ing. She believed him so much that she too, started calling me a b**ch. Some women are so gullible, and want a man so bad that they believe anything. It's really sad. Good luck with your husband, and I hope the bimbo finds out the truth fast.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008):

So why does he call you a bitch? There has to be more to the story then he does for the kids and others and watches TV.

I've heard similar comments from my wife, but she doesn't truly listen to me. Do you do the same?

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A female reader, louweez23 United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2008):

louweez23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

louweez23 agony auntTo clarify. I'm not the other woman.

I'm the evil B*tch that has been making my poor husbands life such a misery that he has turned to an other woman who understands him so much more than I do.

Only I'm not, and I understand him perfectly.

I understand that when I complain about him neglecting me in favour of watching TV, and when I moan that he put's football, horseracing, his parents, his children and everything else ahead of me, that he doesn't like it.

So when the dear little sweet younger woman comes along who sees him twice a week and sees only his nice caring side she is motivated only to be nice to him, so his perception becomes that the wife and mother of his son that he has at home is a moaning whining B*tch whilst the other woman is sweetness and light.

That is until he gets the bottle to divorce me (which he never will - because deep down he knows the lies he is telling are b*llsh*t, and that in reality I'm a really nice person) and moves in with her.

At that moment she will become me.

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A female reader, bfly36 United States +, writes (24 April 2008):

bfly36 agony aunti met a man that is not married but has a live in girlfreind for 5 years, he does the same thing, he is the victim and she is the bitch. now i am starting not to believe him and slowly pull away, why would a man talk so bad about his wife if she is a bitch there is always divorce, he probably does it so u can feel bad for him and comfort him, or he is a wimp and who wants a wimp for a man?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2008):

Why not believe him, have you met her?

If your going to date this guy, it would be crazy to start by not trusting him up. Maybe his wife is an evil bitch. Has he explained anything beyond the character assasination?

His blood might be boiling from the things she's done, and if asked, he will make it short and sweet.

Sometimes when I hear the responses on this site, I get the feeling many of the women are men haters. It takes equal share to make a relationship work or fail.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (24 April 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntNever complain about your spouse, it only reinforces to others how poor your judgement is...

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A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntNo I don't believe him he only wants to get his wild oats and is probably getting them from his wife too.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2008):

Tell you will believe him completely when you've seen the divorce certificate.

If she was so evil why is he with her?

Tell him you'll wait for him for a while so he can leave her and get a place of his own. If you see no movement within 3 weeks then you know he's a liar.

Good Luck!! xx

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A female reader, Dawnie United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2008):

Dawnie agony auntNo but i would believe he is a total arsehole!

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (24 April 2008):

eyeswideopen agony auntSure you can believe him, want to buy a nice bridge in Brooklyn?

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